Sports Day for the non-sporty kids...is this fair?

I did not realise there was rounders and cricket too. That puts a slightly different perspective on it. I assumed it was athletics on sports day. How can the children do all these activities on one day?

However, at my DDs school, those with the most aptitude were selected for what they were good at and no-one was humiliated. My non sporty DD1 thought this was good although as House Captain she had to run 800m when there was a no show from a day girl. I heard parents laughing at her because she was last and slow! Her team applauded her because she got the points for being last! Every point counts! The point I was making, rather clumsily is that Sports Day is seen, in a senior school, as the day the sports stars are on show in front of their parents and peers. It is their day. At my DDs school they made a big thing of "sport for all", that is until the House would not win the cup by including the non sporty ones or the badminton team of less sporty girls lost all their matches and the team was largely replaced with sportier types. Yes, the girls did feel left out and rejected, no it was not fair, but, unfortunately schools will do this because they are independent. He may just have to take this on the chin and shine at other things. My non sporty DD organised and choreographed the winning Haka! She can't run but she could get the whole House working together in joyous scary defiance!

My DS would also see this as a result but he has never wanted to have his lack of sporting ability on public show. However, I can see that it is unfair that your DS wants to take part but has not been given the chance to, especially given the inclusive ethos of your school.

This year DS was 'told' he would have to do the 800 or 1500m - he has negotiated with those making the decisions (House Captains etc) that he will do the house maths competition for them instead

I think the issue really is not about participating in sports say, but about being humiliated when you attempt to participate.

what verbal abuse? I missed that

Verbal Abuse should be dealt with, talk to the school.

Or do you mean the older kids saying your DS isn't very good? That is not nice, and I'd hate that, but not sure it is verbal abuse?

Sad - I know what you mean. DD1 has been in a national ensemble for 4 years now. This year is the first year she's been profiled in the regular messages to parents about achievement. We hear about what seem to me quite minor (regional) sports successes all the time. Hey ho. At least they are paying attention now.

Alpha sports families do tend to shout very loud.

Hi op I think before you contact school you need to make it clear to you ds that there are massive differences between sports day at primary and sports day at secondary school. He's only just starting out at high school so will have no idea how senior school sports days work.

At primary school the focus of sports day is all on having fun and taking part.
At secondary school the focus seems to be more on competition and ego.

My poor dsd who is not very sporty herself insisted on being a part of sports day in yr 7 thinking it would be like primary school sports day. She ended up getting abuse from all the alpha sporting types when she came last. It really knocked her confidence.

You have already mentioned your ds is quiet and timid, would he be able to handle it well if he came last and then got abuse from all the other children for not winning? Especially more so if one of the alpha sports types got taken out of a race and replaced by your ds.

Imo he's had a lucky escape but then again I did everything I could to get out of sports day at school I was definitely not one of the sporting superstars it probably doesn't feel that way to him.

I think the reporter thing is a bit crap though. Do the whole school get out of lessons on sports day to watch? If so can he do his report while he is watching as I'm sure it will get a bit boring for him watching all day.

I'm sure at my dsd's school sports days non competing children are supposed to do some work though I know they dont even ask for it the next day so she doesn't bother now.

My DD2 has been the fastest runner every year in primary school. She still hates sports day. She won't be doing it this year - they let her get in such a state with heatstroke last year she ended up in hospital (not the only time that term either) so we've all agreed that she will be best served not doing it this year. She is very happy. She is doing a 3K fun run next week though (because we can be there for that and keep an eye on her). And it won't involve her being outside all day.

Herc, I'm sure you're right. Every child's different. Every school's different.

My two, decidedly non-sporty, DC loved primary school sports days but they were as much about "egg" and spoon races, sack races, tug of wars and having fun, as who was the fastest runner etc.

Phaedra astoundingly not all Y6s enjoy or want to be involved in sports day.

Just wanted to qualify my last post by saying that before contacting the school, I would talk to my DS and make sure he was happy with that and I that I knew his definite feelings about it all!

I think those who have queried why OP's son would want to take part when he is "non-sporty", are forgetting how young he is. As one of the youngest In Year 7, he is only a few months away from some of the older Year 6s, currently having a lot of fun at Primary School Sports Days, whatever their sporting ability.

My DC, 16 and 13, are not sporting types and would now be happy to avoid these events but at that age, DS1 especially, would have felt exactly as OP's DS does.

Sad, I do still think this is more likely due to bad organisation by the sixth formers, than a deliberate attempt by the school to exclude a vulnerable few. If I was you, I really would contact the school.

If the school really did intend this kind of outcome, I would question whether it was the right school for my child.

Neither DSs was in the least interested in sport and would have loved to not have to do sports day. Unfortunately both were quite good and were forced into it, although both refused to be in school teams because of all the after school practices.

They chose to be involved in drama and music after school and you can't be involved in everything. The HT was fine with it but the PE teachers gave them both a hard time.

It's sad for your DS because he wants to take part but if you insist that he is included that will mean someone already down for an event will not be able to do it and he may not take that well.

The organisation is at fault so, if you have a word, ask for it to change next year but leave it to stand this year, maybe.

I'm sorry but you just have to get used to the fact that sports day is mainly for the sporty - like exam season is best enjoyed by the academic types and music concerts are great for the musical. Not every child is good at everything.

You will develop a thicker skin and your DS will get used to it and will find his own way. But this first year of the expereince is difficuly, I'm sure. I remember feeling keenly for my kids in similar circumstances.

Spoken as one with 3 DC who have gone through very sporty indie schools and never been picked for anything on sports day. And would have hated coming last if they had have been picked. They have non sporty friends too with whom they could hang out under a tree. Or cheer on their sporty friends as they had their day to shine.

Hakluyt - why? The OP has told us the prevailing attitude amongst the sporty PE types at her DS's school. Most posters in this thread don't like it either. Rightly so - it stinks.

"He doesn't like the people and the attitude that tends to go with it."
Ah. My sympathy is starting to ebb away......

Liking different things to (some) other people is not 'missing out'. It's being an individual not a sheep. I'm a runner myself, but I understand that it's not for everyone. What I don't understand is how some people can fail to grasp this simple fact.

Team sport is fantastic to those who enjoy it. It doesn't mean that he won't have team spirit in other areas of life and not liking team sports will not hold him back.

I think everyone has the ability to be sporty - get him out running, if he's a good cyclist, he's got an advantage.

I think it goes a bit deeper, now you've said he doesn't like the ra ra of it. I expect he enjoys praise & reward for academic work ? Perhaps what he doesn't like, is not the sport, but the fact he's not good at it ? Perhaps your & DH's attitude re-enforces this ?

Team sport is fantastic & he's missing out with this attitude...which will follow him where ever he goes.

Maybe he could write his report about his experience about how children were picked for the races and how he was excluded and whether that fits in with the ethos of the school?

Not liking school PE != not being fit. DD2 spends 6 hours a week in dancing lessons and quite a bit of time dancing outside those formal lessons. She also swims at least once a week and surfs and skims in the summer months. She would rather put her eyes out with a blunt fork than engage in school PE, or sports day.

... just talking to DD who is also up stupidly late about how her sports day organised.

Kids went to sports house captains (yr11s) & signed up for what they wanted (had to argue why they were good at it). Only so many competitive spaces so the rest do no sport but have specific jobs allocated to their forms. DD's form is to lead chants, she is busy making up rude rhymes about the other houses.

So yeah, plenty other ways to organise sports day that don't have to highlight individual weaknesses.

A really confident kid would have said "Yeah, I don't like doing sport, is there anything else I could do instead?" and then they would have offered him the reporter instead & he might have been happy feeling that he chosen that rather than it being foisted on him. So being assertive would have helped him so much.

Or maybe the races could be doled out only so many events per person, so that the same few best athletes don't dominate. That part would bother me a lot if it is what happened. I notice in the athletics DD does that everybody seems to do the same number of events, even though a few of the kids are hugely better at everything than nearly all the others.

I'd be inclined to have a chat with the school about it - it's not encouraging for the kids that haven't shown promise...& how will they if no-one encourages them...on the other hand, why isn't he sporty ? What are you doing to support him ? everyone benefits from getting their heart beat going & (in my experience) with a bit of regular effort, you'd be surprised at what achievements can be made & it's fantastic for self esteem.