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Original poster

After School Detentions

136 replies

hippppy · 27/05/2014 13:58

Please do not come in on the attack!

My son is at a secondary Free School, they are in temporary accommodation and tucked away. They have no bus route and are not near a train station.

The days are very long already. They HAVE to stay for an hour of clubs every day. Unfortunately these clubs do not seem too much fun... Juggling, Magic club, textiles.. (thats another story!)

My son recently has been labled G&T, and now G&T underachieving and SEN (because he is G&T) his behavior at school is getting out of control, he is rude and cheeky to teachers and is very bored in class.

He is grounded at home, no internet or phone. I have constantly tried to work with the school, I am in no way letting him off for his poor behavior at school!!!!

I have told the school I am going to remove him and put him into a normal state school. Unfortunately this will take up to 10 school days and I feel this has upset the Head.

He was suspended on Wednesday for being rude to teachers and the Head insisted I collected him. I do not drive and my son comes in a car share. I am a single parent on a very low income with two children and all week I have not been able to go to work. (self employed) A taxi back from the school is £30.

A couple of weeks ago the head insisted he came in on inset day, this resulted in two trains and a taxi. After this I wrote the head a long email stating that I simply cannot send him in taxi's home and I thought the school had accepted that.

He was naughty on Friday (I AM NOT TRYING TO EXCUSE HIS BEHAVIOUR!) and the Head rang me very late in the day saying he was going to KEEP my son and he would miss his lift home. I tried to explain I do not have the money to put him in a Taxi but the Head was very firm and insisted I would just have to find him a way home.

He is only 12, I do feel uncomfortable sending him in a taxi with a stranger. I had to ring four taxi companies as everyone was booked up and ended up putting him in a car with a firm I am not familiar with (CRB checked etc) He didn't get home until 6.45pm)

I do not think this school is the best place for my son. He is very unhappy there! I have spent hours on the phone trying to move him somewhere else. I have had many worries about the school but as it is new I have tried to work with them but its all getting out of control.

I do not have the money to put him in a taxi and i'm worried that this will end up costing me my job. This is costing me a fortune!

10 days left (ish) Can I refuse to allow the school to keep my son after school? Or can I home ed until he gets a place in the other school?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
fourcorneredcircle · 27/05/2014 16:40

Exclusion and detention for raising a false fire alarm are a light punishment. You do realise it's a criminal offence? The fire brigade can, and do, prosecute. Aside from that though, as others have pointed out the head is perfectly within his rights to keep him behind - what on earth made you choose a school that was so hard for your son to get to/from? I think you have to accept some responsibility for that. Ultimately, that was your choice, why should the school help?

EduardoBarcelona · 27/05/2014 15:42

Most schools are holding onto kids these days. Is it a fresh start he's on? Excluding for stuff like that seems ott

tiggytape · 27/05/2014 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nocomet · 27/05/2014 14:59

Personally I'd just take him out of school and if any one asks, your HEing. There comes a point when you adding fines, no internet and other punishments does more harm than good.

As a bright, but rebellious Y3 said to me once "it doesn't matter what I do, I get in trouble at school, then miss talks to Mum and I get all my fun stopped at home too"

No one stepped back and asked why he miss behaved.

Original poster
hippppy · 27/05/2014 14:46

I have taken the last of his birthday money to pay for a taxi as a punishment.

I have been told there is a space for him at another school. He is going for a trial day on Weds after half term.

Ive been told it can take 10 school days for the process to go through.. half term doesn't count!

OP posts:
Original poster
hippppy · 27/05/2014 14:42

Thank you for the replies. @HPARENT I have already spoken with Senco at the school he will be attending, they have spaces and have dropped off a spare uniform so he can attend a trial day on Wednesday. I will phone the LEA again too. I do not feel it is a fair punishment as the school are aware of my situation.

Unfortunately it sounds as if the pupils at this school are becoming very unruly. Not just my son. Im hearing tales of kids throwing things at teachers, walking out of class and also teachers crying and having to seek help from other members of staff to control the class. Again, not my son..he is cheeky and can be rude and appear arrogant but he is not violent of abusive!

I have no idea what is going on, the Drama teacher is teaching English (she keeps marking my sons work with spelling and grammar mistakes when it actually correct) Lots of children are leaving.

My son is finding the long days very frustrating as he feels he is just not learning anything! I do think if I can move him somewhere that is more academic it would help hugely. He has been on a slippery slope since the school started in September.

Mostly he has been in trouble for being cheeky to teachers, answering back, not participating in Drama. And on Friday he was extremely naughty and set the fire alarm off at school. The head made it clear that I had no option and he was keeping him after school no matter how hard it was for me to get him home.

The days when I work are long(the school knows this!) and 1-2 hours away. I have no family close that can pick him up if they decide to keep him without notice.

I really am trying my best. My son is in big trouble at home and I have removed pocket money, treats, internet etc.. I wouldnt leave him home all day if I decide to remove him. I would just have to take more time off.. BUT I may have to do this anyway if the school decide to keep on this way.

Thanks again..

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 27/05/2014 14:26

Legally the head is completely in the right - schools do not have to ask permission to keep children in detention, just inform you that they are doing so.

You need to talk to your son here. Does he get pocket money/ have a bank account? Then he needs to pay for getting home if he can't come home in the usual way.

Hakluyt · 27/05/2014 14:23

Have you definitlely got a place at another school?

Unexpected · 27/05/2014 14:22

Sounds very unreasonable of the school. However, aged 12, your son also needs to realise that he is threatening your livelihood and majorly affecting the family finances by his actions. What is he doing to be in detention so often?

Are you certain that he will get a place in another school in 10 days? Assuming you are on half-term at the moment, surely that's only another week until he changes? If so, I would try to hang on with school for that week. You could withdraw your son now and say you were going to Home Ed him, but if you are at work, he will be home alone and may well see that whole thing as a "reward" for bad behaviour. He gets a week off!

HPparent · 27/05/2014 14:14

Assuming you have definitely got a place in the other school. I would keep him at home until he starts. It seems to me that the Head is being an absolute bastard and is deliberately trying to make your life as difficult as possible. You cannot afford taxis, there is no public transport and that is that. I would also contact your LEA's attendance dept and tell them that the Head is making life impossible for you and it is not possible for your son to attend school in these circumstances.
Make an appointment with the Senco or person who deals with student welfare at the new school so they are able to support your son when he starts.

EduardoBarcelona · 27/05/2014 13:59

this does sound rather unreasonable of the school. Normally they would either offer to bring him home or work with you a bit.