After School Detentions

I have no experience of the state sector so this may not be helpful BUT it sounds incredibly unreasonable to keep hold of a 12yo until a time when he cannot reasonably get home. Tell the head that you can't afford a taxi and that if he keeps your DS late again then you won't be picking him up or arranging a cab home and will expect the school to deal with the situation in a safe manner. The Head just won't want the hassle is my prediction, but admittedly it is a gamble. What pretext is he using for issuing the DTs? Can't the school use their imagination and find a punishment that punishes the child and not the parent?

If you don;t want to call the Head's bluff then pragmatically, I would HE for a couple of weeks. Alternatively, go straight to a governor (find them from the website).

A couple of things struck me- after school juggling and magic clubs not being much fun? on what planet?

And the being labelled SEN for underachieving? What's that about?

As for the detentions- at ds's school there are a lot of very rural children, and if they miss the bus they are stymied, so there is always warning for after school detentions, even though technically there doesn't have to be. It does seem to me to be unreasonable to expect the OP to come up with a £30 taxi fare at short notice.

So behaviour in some subjects was "not so good"? This has escalated? Bullied in the past or not HE needs to take responsibility for his actions. It's not the school's fault if he's behaving badly.

So he behaved badly at his last school and behaves badly at this one? There's a common denominator here and it isn't the fault of the school.

By all means move him but if it doesn't work out again you need to start planting the blame firmly at the feet of your DS.

Someone asked earlier what he was like at his previous school, but you don't seem to have replied. Is this new behaviour, or has he had problems before?

Well surely you have to accept this is your son's fault and you must make him aware of this, get him to cook dinner with what is in the cupboard and plan meals for the week. Maybe he will improve his behaviour when he sees the practical impact. You cannot blame the school for the impact of taxis if your son ignored it, indeed it sounds as if his behaviour escalated.

The school aren't causing the problem. The behaviour of your child is causing the problem.
You need to stop complaining about the school. Support them and deal with the behaviour of your child or in a few months you will be back here moaning about the new school.

You are wrong Icimoi the contract schools have with parents entitles schools to charge parents for damage/fines their child incurs. We do and the choice is to pay up or take your child elsewhere. Who do you think should pay for this child's criminal damage? The public purse? The fact this is described as 'naughtiness' ignores the fact that as the FB are attending a false alarm at a school someone could be in danger from a real fire.

No comment to make about the boy's behaviour, icimoi?

Maybe you think it's the school's fault?

This would been a massive fine for you, twenty times more than the taxi fare you are so worried about, and a permanent criminal record for DS.

No it wouldn't. A parent can't be fined for something their child does when not in their care. In practice the chances of a prosecution for a one-off incident for a child of this age are vanishingly small.

It sounds a rubbish school. I agree that you should take him off the school roll now and home educate till he can move to the new one. I would also suggest that you contact Ofsted and the DfE to report what is going on.

Hello Hipppy, I'm sorry that you are having so many problems with your son's behaviour.

However, I don't think you realise the seriousness of what he has done. You say he set off the fire alarm, and call it "naughty".

I'm afraid it is far more than that, it is a criminal offence, for which he should have been arrested and charged. This would been a massive fine for you, twenty times more than the taxi fare you are so worried about, and a permanent criminal record for DS. A detention was ridiculously light a punishment. I don't think you are going to get very far complaining about that.

Incidentally, you cannot really have an A level in every single subject that appears on your timetable. I would have had to have taken about 25 A levels, if that was the case!

I hope it goes better in his next school, however it is likely his behaviour records will follow him there, and if a child exhibits that puts other children at risk, the school cn turn him down, and having been caught setting off the fire alarm would count as justification for this.

Also, he really does need to know that in a different school, there is no way he would get away with merely and after school detention for that. There cannot be more than a handful of heads in the whole country who would take it so lightly.

best wishes.

OP, have I missed something or did you say you work long hours? If so, how are you going to HE him, even for just five days?

He is not 'naughty' he has by your own admission broken the law, caused disruption to the whole of the school and is rude. Don't worry about the other children, worry about your son.

If he is aware of the trouble he is causing you and is still continuing with this unacceptable behaviour then he has serious problems that are not going to get better by sending him to a different school.

If he is at a LA school next and lets off a fire alarm expect a hefty fine from the Fire Brigade, and I think it is around £400. That is what they charge the school for a 'prank' call out, they are obliged to attend if the alarm goes off. So £30 was a small cost. You need to explain this to your son. The behaviour you describe is very unusual and not naughty but rude and disruptive. I can only remember the alarm at my school being set off once in over ten years.

I would spend the ten days getting him ready for the new school by taking him out of the old situation and reinforcing what you expect behaviour wise. It is a fresh start but he will be watched carefully so needs to impress. However he might be so relieved to escape that he will be angelic but he might have got into some habits that will not be accepted. Good luck, I hope it goes well.