After School Detentions

No Hakluyt, he was in school, realised he didn't have his instrument for the after school concert, and rushed home to get it, and yes, was back in plenty of time to play at 7 or 7.30, whenever it started, don't remember exactly. I suggest you think hard about why you have difficulty accepting that. It is perfectly natural, completely doable, and if you are in the habit of walking, no big deal at all. That it is problem to you indicates that you have got into the unnatural habit of using transport everywhere, and don't realise how far this is from the real lives of many people in the UK, and around the globe.

Along country lanes, AElf? Bollocks to that.

If you live more than 3 miles away from the nearest school, you get free transport.

Hang on- your son walked 5 miles home form school, 5 miles back for his instrument, then 5 miles home again? And then played in a concert?

I hate to say I don't believe you- but I don't believe you. If he finished school at 3.30, he would be home by, say 5.30.Back to school for 7.30 then home again by 9.00. And then the concert. And that's doing it non- stop, after a day at school, and presumably having walked 5 miles to get there in the morning. At 11 years old. Nah.

Children can walk 20 miles occasionally. Children can walk 8 miles regularly. It is what our bodies are evolved for, not-walking is just a cultural habit, it isn't a biological norm. We don't have a car, and often have been without train fare or bus fare, so walking is just the norm. Up to 5 miles each way (10 miles in total, to and from school) wouldn't even cause a comment. DS has on one occasion "rushed" home after school and back again to pick up an instrument he needed for an after school concert, and he would have been about 11 or 12 then. 8-12 miles would be a bit of an endeavour, and 20 miles a special occasion, only once or twice a year, on holiday, or for a sponsored walk, or something.

We walk because we have no choice, but having said that, it is a pleasant, healthy, sociable and enjoyable past time.

This boy has, through his own appalling behaviour, left himself with no transport home. Suggesting he walk at least some of it, as a consequence, is fair and reasonable. The reason some posters think otherwise is because they have fallen out of a very natural habit.

Apart from anything else, he may enjoy it, and it may calm him down. It may even become something he chooses to do, in future. Many restless school children with poor behaviour and concentration, have benefited from taking up walking to and from school, particularly boys. Regular strenuous exercise is one of the first suggestions for habitually poor concentration and impulse control.

As I said, the OP prefers not to tell us the actual distance, probably because it isn't actually that far.

Don't be ridiculous, Ici. It's perfectly acceptable for a 12yo to walk 8 miles home, along country lanes and dual carriage ways if they're lucky. And I for one would be devastated if my child was only working at L7 in his first year of secondary school.

I hope things improve at your son's new school. Fwiw at ds's school, we get a couple of days at least warning of an after school detention. A lot of the students live in villages and the only bus is the school bus.

Actually the bonkers poster whose name I forget said that 20 miles was a reasonable distance for this boy to walk home. Not all bad, though, because it has allowed the OP to focus on that particular insanity and ignore all the reasonable and helpful suggestions and advice others have given.

I do like that "8 miles is perfectly walkable" stuff. Assuming the OP is not too keen on her 12 year old child walking 8 miles on his own after school in an area which is clearly pretty isolated, that requires OP to walk 16 miles to collect him and bring him back. 5 hours' walking after a full day's work. Really?

And I want to know what cabs charge £30 for a walking distance journey, so that I can avoid them.

Hippppy has never come back to explain the distance, so i would guess it is something perfectly walkable like 8 miles or something, and she doesn't want to say, because it would show she was making a fuss about nothing.

Home school agreements are not contracts in law and are totally unenforceable.

My impression is Free Schools have tighter home/school agreements but LEA schools charge ( quite correctly) the parents any costs incurred through a pupil breaking rules. OP, your son was treated extremely leniently, although it does make me wonder whether the alarms had a direct link, but I would find his behaviour worrisome.

Icimoi, I don't know if it is 20 miles, that was another posters suggestion, but he could certainly walk part of it, if his Mum considers 20 miles too long. My children can walk that distance, enjoy it and are proud of it, but wouldn't like being told they had to. On the other hand, if the mum cannot arrange any other form of transport for him, it is his own fault.

It would seem to be £30 taxi fare FROM THE STATION, surely no school would accept a student who had to come by train, then take a taxi for the last 20 miles? I don't understand, really.

How far away is the school, OP?

Unexpected, the chances of about 50 after school clubs being available in a new free school are vanishingly small. Remember they are in temporary accommodation and probably have one or at most two small year groups and, apparently, a falling roll.

i wonder how far it actually is then? it does seem very strange to choose a school without any consideration of how to get there and back.

20 miles should have the desired effect.

Average walking speed: 3.1 miles per hour - slower for children. So approximately 7 hours' walk in the dark after a long day at school, arriving home around 2 a.m..

I'm glad you're not my mum, AElfgifu.

Let's not get hung up on the magic and juggling. I suspect the OP picked the two most "niche" clubs from a catalogue of about 50. Given that after-school clubs are apparently mandatory, I would bet that there is also football, basketball, netball etc etc as well as chess, choir, drama and a whole range of other options too. Frankly, there would have to be, unless you are going to have 300+ kids in each of magic and juggling. Oh, and for what it's worth, DS1 would hate both magic and juggling, DS2 would think they were the greatest thing ever.

It doesn't really matter whether DS considered it within walking distance or not. if he had to stand ans wait for his mum,and then walk home, it won't cost his mum anything, and DS would not be wanting to spend his evenings like that, so in fact, the further the better

The problem with that is that he wouldn't be allowed to wait in school till his mum could get there after work: given the public transport situation, that could well be 7 or later. It's not exactly desirable for a 12 year old to have to hang around outside a school indefinitely after school hours.

A couple of things struck me- after school juggling and magic clubs not being much fun? on what planet?

On this planet. How could anyone who regularly deals with teenagers think that they are itching to attend after school magic and juggling clubs???

You are wrong Icimoi the contract schools have with parents entitles schools to charge parents for damage/fines their child incurs

Not so.

1. There is no contract between parents and free schools.
2. As you can see from the quote in my post, the fine in question would have been a fine imposed following a prosecution. Nothing whatsoever to do with the school in any event.

Thee levels given don't indicate a gifted student, it maybe more related to very high expectations?

This may help you to understand and cope with your DS.
Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students
My DD is also gifted and can be emotional.
I found the book very helpful.

20 miles should have the desired effect.

Or make it half and half, £15 quid taxi ride, and 10 miles, or some other variation.

Oh don't be silly- it's a 30 quid taxi ride! Round here that's probably about 20 miles.

It doesn't really matter whether DS considered it within walking distance or not. if he had to stand ans wait for his mum,and then walk home, it won't cost his mum anything, and DS would not be wanting to spend his evenings like that, so in fact, the further the better,. Mum could travel part way by train to collect him, if she wanted to. Still cheaper than taxi.

The OP stated in her opening post that she works. She needs her ds to be able to make his own way home rather than have to collect him presumably.