Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Can I ask for support and ideas to help me help my DD please?

28 replies

Sonnet · 08/05/2014 14:11

I am worried about my DD and am struggling to know how to help her best (ie come down hard or not).

A bit of background: Each year she seems to perfom less well academcally. I have had her "tested" as such as she has shown to be slow at processing and have a poor working memory.

I have identified myself through observastion that she is scared of school work and avoids when things become tough. This manifests itself in ignoring any tests and using the excuse " I didn't do badly, I just didn't revise"

Even though this may out me, printed below is an email I received today from her teacher. Whilst I am concerned about her poor performance it is actually her attitude that concerns me most:

*I just wanted to email you with regards to xxxxx progress in science this term.

I'm afraid to say that I am a little disappointed with her efforts both in lessons and with regards to her attainment in the last test (Magnets and Electromagnets).

In class I am finding her more and more unwilling to put the expected amount of effort in to her class work, as well as behaving in the correct fashion - for example working silently when asked to.

In her most recent test she managed to achieve 25% or 11 out 43 (a result she will receive today). As you know we have certain expectations of xxxx, and I feel that although I have confronted her about this attitude towards her work, and provided the opportunities for her to have the extra help she requires, she seems unwilling to make the effort in return.

I know we have spoken in the past about this, and I just wanted to update you on the current state of affairs, and I hope you will continue to support us in encouraging her to achieve as highly as she is capable of doing. *

I don't want a big row tonight, it s counterproductive. She has end of year exams the week after half term. In my shoes - what would you do?
TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
Sonnet · 08/05/2014 14:46

Thank you both.

appreciate your brutal honesty LilRedWG - I posted to get brutal honesty. How practically do I get her to work - she thinks she does... I have helped her with revison, helped her do revision notes. School have helped. This particular Teacher offered her help, she didn't turn up! She is just not bothered. In this particular instance I have asked the teacher to make her re-sit the test on Monday and i will revise it with her over the weekend. I have asked him to come down hard on her re her behaviour with detentions as opposed to "loss of house marks". Planning a strict talking to tonight.
CherryBlossomSmile - in all subjects she has a similar attitude but as she finds Science hard it makes it worse. She is in bottom sets for most things. I have had meetings galore with school and they have not had much effect. I am slightly embarrassed to have anotgher as they offered her extra help for Science but DD won't go.

I am tempted to remove her ipad and stop her going to a party this weekend - her attuitude needs to change but I don't know how to change it

OP posts:
Cherryblossomsmile · 08/05/2014 14:35

Is she Year 8? Ask her year head to find out if any other subjects are effected. What's her friendship group like?

Perhaps you could arrange a meeting with year head that your daughter attends too? Perhaps together you can find out what is going on.

LilRedWG · 08/05/2014 14:33

It certainly sounds as though your daughter dislikes school. TBH I'd be coming down hard on the, "I just didn't revise".

To be brutally honest it sounds from your post as though you are enabling your daughter. Work with school to get her working, involve the SENCO if needed but stop letting your daughter coast or she'll have a big shock when she starts work.

Swipe left for the next trending thread