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Original poster

Wycombe Abbey vs co-ed boarding

32 replies

Laxmama · 20/03/2014 10:46

DH and I visited Wycombe Abbey with dd1 recently; dd adored it. She is 9, this is the first senior school she has seen and I could tell that, as we were shown around the junior boarding house, she was already picturing herself padding around in her slippers in that cosy, all-girls-together environment.

I too think that dd (in her current skin) could be very happy there - as far as I can tell she is academic, well rounded and confident enough to benefit from all that the school has to offer and I'm sure she would thrive - but for 7 years?

I could not fault the running of the school or the passion of those of the senior teaching staff whom we met but, for all the positives I hear about single sex education - fewer distractions and boosted self confidence resulting in better grades - I can't help but wonder if single sex, full boarding is a step too far? I came away from the school excited by academic zing and we-can-be-anything-we-want-to-be spirit of the girls but spending just an afternoon there left me feeling a little claustrophobic on DD's behalf at the idea of her spending 7 years there, in the same all-girl peer group...

An upper 5th girl mentioned that 20 girls will be leaving for co-ed 6th form. I'm sure there are myriad reasons for this (and the figure may not be correct) but, at face value, it doesn't appear to testify to a positive educational experience.

I boarded but have no experience of single sex education and would be very happy to have my prejudices quashed. Are there any current Wycombe parents out there who might share their DDs' experiences of the school? Why did you choose it over co-ed boarding? Are there any parents who specifically chose co-ed boarding over Wycombe Abbey (or any all-girls' boarding school) and regret it?

I know that we'll have to go with whatever we & DD feel most comfortable with; just interested to hear any experiences of parents who've been here and made this decision.

OP posts:
dog1dog2 · 20/03/2014 12:31

You could also look at Sherborne? Might not be same academic league as WA but send girls to Oxbridge so the potential is there. Sherborne Boys next door and some joint activities (music, drama, socials I think). Friend turned down Other "more academic" options to send DD there for that reason and she is flourishing. Sherborne lovely too!!

SpringBreak · 20/03/2014 12:25

did they give you a copy of the Dove? that usually has pictures / details of various dances / dinners / socials with Eton, Harrow Radley, RGS etc. Something takes place pretty much weekly. Sometimes plays / choral events with one of the boys' schools too.
John Hampden and the RGS are two of the schools that the more academic (science competitions / debates etc) mixed events happen with.

OhNoYouExpedidnt · 20/03/2014 12:02

John Hampden all boys grammar school is but a stones throw away!

Original poster
Laxmama · 20/03/2014 11:55

Good point re Cheltenham, dog1 - we haven't actually visited any other girls' boarding schools at this stage. I realise now that I have always, sub-consciously, assumed that DD would want co-ed boarding. Her adamance about girls only took me by surprise. Wycombe Abbey, I chose simply because of its excellent reputation amongst girls' schools. We had discounted others for various reasons but hadn't considered Cheltenham because, having grown up close by, I had my homegrown prejudices about it (all of which I now admit are entirely irrational). I clearly need to give all of my preconceptions about girls' schools, specifically and in general, a good shake out!

We are already looking at a couple of prep schools that will take DD until 13 - girls leave her current school at 11 - in order to leave all her options open.

springbreak, for me, educational experience means educational in the wider sense of the word, social and academic. I think that this is the root of my concern. I have no doubt about the academic excellence of WA but am concerned that DD's A stars could come at the expense of a very narrow social education. I'd be taking more of a punt on dd reaching her full academic potential I think at a co-ed...hence my cry for wise words of experience... Good point about the social mixers laid on with boys' schools - I'd heard about them in theory but failed to ask the girls about those. You're right I think I need to delve deeper on my next visit.

I'm sure there'll be no shortage of boys (DD has an older brother and is currently at a co-ed prep) during the holidays and zero, thanks for the very valuable tip on avoiding boy-frenzy! Hope you're now over it Wink

OP posts:
ZeroSomeGameThingy · 20/03/2014 11:37

If I could have my teenage years over again (single sex boarding) I would make sure before I started to establish one or two strong hobbies / interests that I could continue during every holiday and short break. Something like sailing or a youth orchestra or drama - something with boys. So they didn't become an alien species - and I could ignore the boy-frenzy that you can sometimes get at all girls schools.

But I wouldn't change anything else. Who wants to spend half an hour on make up before going into school?

If you can make sure she meets lots of boys (in all contexts) outside school there really shouldn't be a problem. Remember she will only ever be at school for a handful of weeks at a time - she'll spend months and months at home doing interesting things with lots of different people.

I don't think you need struggle to have a clear idea of what she'll want at 16. Plenty of time to discover that - and she'll have a world of choice at her feet by then.

SpringBreak · 20/03/2014 11:22

Dog, you do realise that Wycombe Abbey is in High Wycombe? a large town?
the relative proportion of 20 pupils moving (& I'd check that number with staff who actually know) at 6th form isn't substantial I don't think and I think it's a leap to suggest it means that it doesn't testify to a positive educational experience. YOu will be extremely hard pressed to find a more positive educational experience for girls w'wide. Firmly believe that. It's more suggestive of not testifying to a positive social experience; what is it you're looking to achieve in a school? is that more important to you than the academic experience?
Finally, do you know about the mixed academic and social activities that WA offers? lots of pure social / dancing events with boys schools and an increasing number of debating / musical / academic activities.

dog1dog2 · 20/03/2014 11:17

Why don't you go and look at other academic girls boarding schools such as Cheltenham Ladies College that are located in a town? They do not suffer the post GCSE exodus as far as I'm aware, in fact they take more girls in for 6th form and the 6th formers are in their own houses with their own rooms - a sort of stepping stone to university. I think being on a campus in the middle of nowhere for 7years is the reason some girls leave for a new experience at 6th form. The other option is to keep her at prep school until 13. We have girls move to our prep for yrs7/8 before going to secondary and doing 5yrs in one place (like the boys). Many girls schools are now set up for a 12+ and 13+ entry to reflect this...also a huge saving financially....!!