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Original poster

Should DD write a personal hand written letter to school she really wants but is on waiting list?

42 replies

Amsr · 26/02/2014 12:24

DD is on the waiting list for the school she really wants to go to (Alleyn's). I have already written to the school telling them that it's her first choice. A friend has suggested that DD should hand write a letter to the headmaster herself. Just wondered what people's opinions on this are and if so, what should she write?

OP posts:
WhoWasThatMaskedWoman · 26/02/2014 14:55

I think it's manipulative to let a child do this. However active and specific confirmation from you that yes you definitely do wish to remain on the waiting list because Alleyns is your family's number 1 choice, and will be accepted over any other offer, might perhaps swung it between two otherwise indistinguishable waiting list children? Maybe?

AgaPanthers · 26/02/2014 14:54

When we went to Eton open day, the admissions tutor said that lots of parents and their DCs did this - 'updating them' on things like their Grade 8 music exam pass, top of the class in exams, and so on.

He was clearly approving.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 26/02/2014 14:48

are you writing the letter directly on to £50 notes? That might help I suppose.
Otherwise...NO.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/02/2014 14:44

To put it very bluntly - I don't think the ability to write a begging letter is one of the assessment criteria.

Hopefully, she will move up the list. If not, then may be the school didn't give her a firm offer because others fitted the school better. I am starting the 13+ admissions round with DS1 and I am careful not to big up one school over another because we don't have any control over the selection process.

Shootingatpigeons · 26/02/2014 14:14

It will start an arm's race, 11 year olds putting their self esteem on the line, and being lined up for failure, in trying to write the best begging letters and Heads getting besieged by sad little letters. It'll be like tutoring, it won't matter if there is evidence it makes a difference or the effect on a DCs self esteem, everyone will think they have to do it...... Sad

wondering I don't agree with you. I am sure no good school would claim to be able to rank children first past the post, they all have strengths and weaknesses. Needs must that they pragmatically come up with some sort of order but if you are on a waiting list they implicitly accept that you are of a standard to go there, and they would be happy to accept you. Plenty of DC who get in on waiting lists go on to excel, and nobody ever remembers they were on one in the first place. However I do agree that OP has to be philosophical about it and encourage her DC to see the benefits of Plan B, then if a waiting list place comes up it will be a bonus.

AbiRoad · 26/02/2014 13:54

I assume the point would be not to get your child prioritised over someone with a place but over someone else on the waiting list if they only offer to some on the list? Even so I would not do it.

forbreakfast · 26/02/2014 13:52

Please don't!

morethanpotatoprints · 26/02/2014 13:51

Heard it all now Grin

JeanSeberg · 26/02/2014 13:50

Is this even real?

LIZS · 26/02/2014 13:48

please don't !

PoshPaula · 26/02/2014 13:44

No. Emotive and inappropriate.

HyvaPaiva · 26/02/2014 13:43

Don't do this!

basildonbond · 26/02/2014 13:41

God, no - it's not going to do any good and could end up damaging your dd's chances of moving off the waiting list

Alleyn's offers have to be accepted by 5th March (2 days after state school offers) so if the school needs to go to the waiting list in order to fill its places that will happen by mid-March at the latest. However children at dd's school who've been wait-listed have been told not to get their hopes up as no-one got in from the waiting list last year so it would probably be a good idea to start bigging up your dd's other options

wonderingwoman64 · 26/02/2014 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kez100 · 26/02/2014 13:25

No, it would be arrogant to do so.

Ask yourself, how would you feel if she suddenly fell a few places on the waiting list because others had written letters too (but their letters were considered much better quality letters than your DDs) and so they jumped above her on the waiting list?

MillyMollyMama · 26/02/2014 13:09

No. Absolutely not. You have nothing to gain and all to lose.

SantanaLopez · 26/02/2014 13:07
Confused

Why the hell would a hand written letter make a difference? Do you real think that the head teacher will read the letter and throw someone else out so your DD can have a place?

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