Putney High unfriendly?

No you are not wrong. Choosing a school on the basis of stereotyping the whole of the parent body is a bit odd. There will be some parents like that at any private school but there will also be other parents who do not match that stereotype. I know quite a few parents whose DDs go to Putney and none are like that.

All you could say is that the intake at Putney and Wimbledon may be a bit more local, though girls travel in by train to both from a reasonable distance. Therefore you may get more of the type of parents who tend to choose to live in Putney (or Sheen Richmond etc.) or Wimbledon (and area). Whereas at LEH you will get the type of parents who tend to live in Richmond, Putney, Wimbledon etc. alongside those who live in Ealing, Hanwell, Southall, Windsor, Ascot, Woking, Cobham and Esher (where the buses come in from) . Stereotype them how you will.

In reality the parents at all these schools are surprisingly diverse given the cost of the fees, plenty can only just afford it.

And in my experience the friendliness of the parent body at any school varies from year to year rather than school to school. The reality is that most of the secondary schools keep parents at arm's length anyway, it is your DCs school, in which they will grow up and find their own independence and identity seperate from you. They are old enough to make their own social arrangements so you rarely meet other parents beyond those of your DDs closest friends. It comes as a bit of a shock for parents who have been used to a primary /prep where the parents muck in and constantly poke their noses into everything and have a social life alongside. Some years may arrange lots of social functions, some none, often they struggle to even get someone to volunteer for class rep for the friends or to man the stalls at the Fair. And you will struggle to persuade your teenage daughter to be seen dead there as well (until she is in the sixth form and needs to flog something for Young Enterprise)

Lots of factors you need to take into account when choosing a school, the parents aren't one of them.

We know people who are happy with their dds experience in the senior school, they do not live in Putney. They are not snobby, elitist, sharp elbowed etc, just normal women, two of the girls are old enough to row, which they really enjoy. Girls all travel to school independently & have done since they started. The women aren't the type to go to coffee mornings, health clubs etc so maybe they are lower profile?