Is it right to make our children study for GCSE'S?

Shooting

I agree with what you are saying and am glad that your children found a good balance. Only one of mine has so far and short of chaining him down it wasn't going to happen. He did his GCSE's and got C's when several of these could have been B's with a couple of A's. He was exactly the same for A levels, we tried everything.
I now believe that sometimes its just not what they want at this age irrespective of parenting. DC1 was fine and dd is only 10 so some way to go yet. It isn't just a case of encouraging them for some dc.
It is horrible to think that you have tried your best, done what you can, taken advice from professionals, offered support, backed off, been involved and everything in between and it have no effect.
It isn't worth it and in the end I'd rather have the philosophy of the OP, than feel like the failure I did.

morethan Of course GCSEs are not the be all and end all, shouldn't be anyway, though recent education strategies have let down those for whom vocational and other training will enable them to meet their potential doing jobs that society should value.

However a bright child spending 10 hours out of a waking 19 on a computer and only getting 5 hours sleep is most certainly not going to meet her potential in terms of getting the opportunities in life to use her ability, and quite possibly has a serious addiction, since it will affect her health, let alone concentration. I would be very worried if it were my DD, setting boundaries and possibly getting help.

I have never had to chain my DDs to their homework, they have done well whilst keeping up other interests, having boyfriends, a social life etc. We expect them to join us at family meals and occasions. In short we tried to make sure their lives were balanced. True they often do homework with Fbook etc on in the background but come exam revision time they both get their friends to change all their passwords. They are ambitious, love their subjects and are motivated to study them at uni. I have only ever encouraged them in their talents and interests, never made them do anything academically, and only stopped them doing things that were obviously anti social and would obviously harm them, such as banning them from joining the cool 14 year olds drinking vodka in the park. There is a world of difference between making them do GCSEs and complete laissez faire parenting that is damaging not just this DDs development and prospects but quite possibly her health as well.

Can I just say that not having gcse's does not mean you don't have ambition, or you don't aspire to anything.
Not everybody wants to take a competitive course at uni, some competitive courses you would be accepted for without GCSE's, it depends on what you want to do.
You can be a teacher without any.
So the answer to the OP from me is
No it isn't right for us to make our children study for GCSE's.

Surely some time between 4pm and 1am she gets off her backside to eat??!! And go to the loo? And stretch?! Sounds like she's sitting herself into an early grave, otherwise.

I don't know how many hours a day my DDs spend online but I know that they do their homework, they spend time with their friends, they do stuff with me and DD3 and they generally float around the house doing other stuff, and we always eat together. They don't spend all their time alone in their rooms, there's no-one to bicker with in there

Swimming etc

If I had a 15 yr old then I would want her to study, but only enough to get high grades.
Then, in her free time she can do what she wants. But I would want her chatting to friends, on line, spending time with mates, shopping, going swiping etc.
she isn't really spending 10 hrs? She can't be.

My approach to my DDs studying has been quite laid back. I don't get involved with homework unless they ask, which is rare, usually to show me something they're proud of. But they know that they're expected to do it and they always have. DD1 did some revision for her GCSEs but I left it to her to decide how to go about doing it and how much time she spent doing it. I just made sure that the conditions at home were conducive to revising, so making sure she ate well, went to bed at a reasonable time, not having to do chores leading up to exams, etc. I've never limited screen time but the DDs have bed times on school nights. So far it's all worked really well.

I disagree with the OPs daughter being up so late every night and I think that our DC definitely do need GCSEs regardless of what they plan to do later on. But if your daughter is doing well at school OP, if she is going to achieve her GCSEs and the teachers have no concerns then I don't see a problem with the laid back attitude.

Sorry morethan but five GCSEs would be a barrier to entry to many courses at many universities.

can I ask what you do for a living please op?

"Just because you don't have GCSE's doesn't mean you won't do well in life."

Of course it doesn't. But the path is generally easier with than without.

And try getting on to a competitive course at university with 5 GCSEs.

Whether lots of GCSEs are important or not (and for most people with any sort of aspirations more than 5 are), a rounded education is important. While that could be obtained from the internet, it won't be from twitter and tumblr.

curlew

Colleges and uni's only ask for 5 including Maths and English. You don't need so many.
Schools only have dc sit so many to give them a better chance and to choose their best results.
I have interviewed and accepted dc without any before now, its to do with their attitude to learning tbh.
Just because you don't have GCSE's doesn't mean you won't do well in life.
Anyway, the OP has given her dds results, they are very good.

"
"Who says dc have to do zillions of GCSE's they really aren't that important tbh "

It depends what the dc concerned wants to do next. For some GCSEs aren't important. For others they are vital.

Maybe she just sees other benefits in parenting the way she does.
With those type of results she's too good for McDonalds
Who says dc have to do zillions of GCSE's they really aren't that important tbh [Message edited by MNHQ to remove reference to deleted post]

What a strange thread. Macdonalds beckons I think. What else could she be willing to do. Blimey - 5 hours sleep and you think that's OK. What is she doing on Facebook and the like for 10 hours!!

A low paid job where she has plenty of time for online stuff will I fear mean she will be living with you for a very very long time. She cannot afford to do otherwise

Tbh I'd be more worried about yourself. Not your dd.

Actually, my ds1 is one of those bloody irritating children who could get 11 b grades at GCSE without ever looking at a book outside school. Thankfully, he has now more ambition and knows with effort, he can achieve higher than that, get good a levels and go to a good uni.

I daresay in theory he'd quite like the idea of never having to look at anything more taxing than twitter. In theory. I guess that at age 21 with less than excellent grades, in a less than excellent job, he would regret wasting his potential

Luckily enough, that's what I am here for. Not to be his best mate, or to make him happy and stress free all the time. But to instil some values, some ambition, some recognition that if he applies himself he can achieve anything.

She may be able to wing GCSEs ... chances are she won't be able to do the same for A-levels and university.

I'm sceptical about her getting those grades without having worked outside of school ...hopefully she's subversively beavering away on essays and revision when you think she's messing around on the net. (kids, perhaps esp girls can multitask to some extent).

5 hours sleep is not enough for a teenager though.

5 hours sleep a night?
No HW at all?
How is this preparing her for life outside school? Some work ethic! Work is competitive. More and more young people are getting good grades and then going after the same college/work places.
Doesn't she get into trouble for not doing HW? Colleges will ask for references and simply won't take a kid who can't be arsed to work.
BTW what about all the other grades?
Do your job as a parent.

How dull for her. Guess she'll be happy enough working in McDonalds though - clearly neither of you have much in the way of aspiration!

Your her mum, not her best friend. Being relaxed is fine, but there's such a thing as taking it too far. She's not going to be able to leave school and spend 10 hours a day faffing about online, for the rest of her life, so why allow it, now?

what does she want to do after GCSE's?
what are her predicted grades and how well did she do in her mocks?

If you really think that the 'need' for GCSEs is limited to having 5, and tht 15 year olds are indeed mature and experienced enough to make decisions that will limit their prospects sharply, then your approach is just fine.