DD's mocks results are a disaster - what can I do now?

They are not appalling- BUT make sure she understands that if she wants to go to Oxbridge, particularly Oxford, she needs all As with as many A*s as possible. Because that's the first sift, sadly, these days. Not room for the quirky genius any more!

Ii keep reinforcing the message to ds and dd that a brain is not enough . Good brain = good. Hard work = good. Good brain + hard work = excellent.

There are legions of us out there (and probably masses on MN) who have founf this to our cost.

You do nothing. It is up to your dd to bring up the grades, this is what mocks are for.

My mock results were similar (although I'd already done maths and was then doing additional maths). I got 8A (no A* in those days) and 2B in the real thing. I didn't do much work between outside school wither.

I understand the pain, OP.

But they are mocks . Plenty of time.

Ds had to take four GCSEs early in year 10. He seriously underestimated what was required in terms of work and did not do very well. He was absolutely gutted and went to bed for a day when he got his results. I had to fight to keep a sympathetic grin plastered on my face because, yes, we all live a little bit vicariously through our dcs and because of those results a couple of doors have probably closed.

But onwards and upwards. Or even just onwards. My eldest sister was a stellar scholar and did very well. Middle sister, following two years later, flunked her O Levels because she'd seen the whole circus surrounding her elder sister and just couldn't be arsed.

You can lead a horse to water and all that.

That's interesting wordfactory- things must have changed since I applied then because when I had my interview at Oxford they said my gcses we fine and they never really put great emphasis on them anyway as a levels generally show a better overall picture of a candidates attitude to work and their aptitudes.

I achieved 8 a*s at gcse, 1 b and 1 c (c was in maths, I have dyscaluclar so it's amazing I even got that to be honest!) I then achieved AAAB at a level - pyschology, english, politics and history.

I think it's really sad when parents put so much pressure on their dc.

I have a dd aged 11 and she is middle of the road in everything (year 6 and level 4/ low 5) and she enjoys school and is happy. That's enough for me. I help her if she wants me to but I never push her.

I can understand your concerns, to an extent. She is obviously very capable and probably just hasn't bothered enough. I would be frustrated too, but don't panic.

It's ok to tell her you think the results are disappointing, but I do sincerely hope you've not gone overboard on the APPALLING schtick. These are the mocks (and GSCE mocks, not even A levels). They are a practice run. This is the opportunity to make a mess of it and get a kick up the backside. Giving her a hard time will achieve nothing and quite possibly even backfire. You've said yourself she's rebellious so don't give her anything to rebel against.

And, as an aside, it is worth considering whether these dreams of Oxbridge (and banking??) are really your dreams or hers. Be honest. The brightest girl in my class at school (the days before A*s but predicted fabulous grades, Oxbridge and a glittering career), dropped out due the pressure and now, 20 years on, has nowt but a cleaning job and a drink problem. It can, and does, happen if the pressure is turned right up.

Just a small point of clarification; Oxford do base much of their offers on GCSE results. As do Bristol and others . Cambridge less so, but then they make A* Alevel offers which are another sphere of stress IMVHO.

My ds 2 mates who were by far the brightest and highest achievers at exams etc both haven't gone to uni and have literally fallen at the last hurdle due to pressure.

You do realise that Oxford and Cambridge will be more interested in a level results than gcses? And those mock results are very, very good - If she improves on those, as I'm sure she will, that will be fine.

I really, really hope you did not use the word "appalling" in front of your dd. She must be very intelligent and hard working to even get those grades, she doesn't need bashing.

You really need to take a step back and let your dd lead the way. There is absolutely no good pushing your dd to revise and achieve top grades if her heart isn't in it. Not everyone that can be academic wants to be. Be careful or you could really damage your relationship with her.

I was the top kid in school. At one of my parents evenings my head of year told my mum I had the potential to be one of the top women in the country. I went on to win a scholarship (fully paid) to a top school to do my a levels (from a normal state school).

I applied to Oxford. My mum was so excited, I would have been the only one from my family who went to university. I was accepted into oxford, ucl, Kings college and so on.

And you know what.... I was desperately unhappy. I hated the pressure of it all. I hated all of it. So after a lot of soul searching I turned all of of the offers down and went to work,full time. I feel even now my mum is deeply disappointed for me rather than loving me for who I am.

I still had a good career- I ended up a senior marketing manager earning a very high wage, working alongside the kind of people I would have graduated with.

However, I still wasn't happy. I just don't enjoy being around people and work. So with the support of my dh I am now a sahm! We manage on dhs wage, which is minimum wage and we have two dc. I have never, ever been happier. Honestly. I have no pressure. No stress.

Don't pressure your dd. It's her life. Let her make her own decisions. Academia isn't everything.

is it too late to opt for double science ?

Try and find out how much of the science syllabus they have actually covered and also what her friends got.

Presume you have checked her friends' results, sometimes schools mark hard to chivvy kids to work harder.

I never managed to make my teenage study. They would disappear upstairs but be messing around not studying. Sounds like there is a lot of pressure on this girl to perform and she is perhaps rebelling. One DD was a people pleaser and did v well (but wasn't interested in Oxbridge) but not due to my nagging, off her own bat.

Tutor is a good idea as they, DCs, hate the extra work and do it to get finished and away from tutor ime.

She will probably get into a reasonable uni of her choice and do well in a subject of her choice (ie not one chosen by her DM).

Deep breath ...

This is what mocks are for.

The first thing is to change your mindset. The title is " what can I do" and that's the wrong question...it's her problem not yours, and SHE needs to formulate a plan if action, ok with help and guidance but it is her problem.

What does she want post GCSE? Are these current results in line with that? And how do we get from here to there?

I don't get the tutor thing at all. If you are predicted an A star then the school must see you as capable of that ad a lower grade is just a lack of revision. I feel sorry for her

It seems like it's the sciences your DD is having trouble with. Would you consider getting a tutor for those subjects?

Ds was predicted all A*s but his mock results were pretty mediocre - he hadn't revised at all however so not that surprising...

He did work a bit harder from then on in and all his results went up by the time of the real exams - the two he was proudest of were history which went from a low C to an A* (with 100% in one paper) and Physics which he managed to pull up to an A from a D

However he still didn't get his straight A*s which was a bit of a shock to him, though not to us ...
I'd love to be able to report that he's learned his lesson and is now working his socks off in sixth form but unfortunately that would be a lie ...

Hi, first time posting on Mumsnet.

I had a wake up call with my A level mocks. I had partied and enjoyed myself rather too much. It was a horrid shock. My parents were not pleased.

It gave me the serious panics and I worked really hard up to the final exams. I was very afraid I had ruined my chances of a good university. I cried a lot in the run up to the exams. My Mum was fantastic, she used to hug me and tell me that nothing was the end of the world and I really felt that they loved me anyway. Happily the work had paid off and I got straight A grades.

So whatever else you decide to do OP, I would just urge you to let your daughter know that you love her anyway, whatever happens. It really helped me to know that.

You do understand that these are MOCKS???

Poor girl I really feel for her if you are putting loads of pressure on her.

Talk to her see what she feels. I don't think I bothered with much revision for my mocks but for the real exams it's different most people work much harder.

Do you think those grades much encourage her to work harder to get the grades she wants? What does she want? Does she actually want to aim for Oxbridge?

That's not appalling imo

Oops Link www.khanacademy.org/science/physics

For what concerns science, let her watch some of the Khan Academy video-lessons . Here the link for physics [http://www.khanacademy.org/science/physics].

Maybe she doesn't like these subjects or doesn't understand them and for that the Khan Academy is just great. Give it a try or have a look at them yourself. The lessons are shorts, around 10 min.

OP , first of all calm .

Yes, I do think these grades show underachievement. Ignore the posters saying you are being daft. It's not about the actual grades, is it? It's the gap between what someone is capable of and what someone actually gets that's galling.

Nothing worse than an underachiever? Give me a child with avertage grades who did their level best any day of the week.

All that said, it's early days!

Mocks are often used as a wake up call. At DS school the year 11s have just had their results back and some of them were crap. And this is a school that doesn't do crap results! It gives everyone an (often much needed) kick up the arse.

FWIW I wouldn't worry about the As. They will lift to an A* with some graft.

This leaves French, music and the sciences.

What your DD needs to know (and I do think it should come from her in the first instance) is what went wrong. She needs to ask her teachers to go throughthe papers and find the weak spots. She also needs to ask herself if she really did do enough work.

"what can I do now?"

Not a lot. It's down to her.
Talk to her about the exams, her motivations, her dreams, try to find out what's going on in her head. You can facilitate, but your efforts only count for so much - it has to come from her. You can take a horse to water ...

If she is predicted a A* in say French does the D include an assessment of orals/CAs which may have already been submitted ? Often mocks are marked quite harshly and given the grade boundary issues of recent years there is much to be gained by erring on the side of caution rather than letting students get complacent. Mocks are designed to show up weaker areas, maybe lower grades will make her realise she needs to put more effort in and what to revise. There will also be an element of learning exam technique.