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Original poster

DD's mocks results are a disaster - what can I do now?

238 replies

Earningsthread · 18/12/2013 23:44

Art target grade A* - mock grade - A/B
Biology target grade A* - mock grade - C
Chemistry target grade A* - mock grade - C
English Language target grade A* - mock grade - A
English Literature target grade A* - mock grade - A
French target grade A* - mock grade - D
History target grade A - mock grade - A
ICT target grade A - mock grade - A
Mathematics target grade A* - mock grade - A
Music target grade A* - mock grade - B
Physics target grade A* - mock grade - D

This girl is talented. So talented that her English teachers in every year have told me that she is the most gifted student they have ever seen. But just look at those mock results. They are APPALLING. She is underachieving in every subject bar 2. What should I do? What can I do? There are only six months between now and the exams. The school thought she was an Oxbridge banker. I know my rebellious DD and knew she would not work. But there is not working and not working. THose mock GCSE results are appalling.

What if anything, can I do to help at this late stage?

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BoundandRebound · 22/12/2013 12:57

Don't you mean what can she do

One of the big issues is parents micro managing their children

So sit her down and make it clear its up to her, offer her if she wants help with planning revision but make it clear it is up to her

A lesson many children and parents need to learn

BeckAndCall · 22/12/2013 08:41

On the law side, I'd say she should do a degree in what interests her - 3 years is a long time and she might change her mind.

I say that as one married to a senior partner in a law firm who did do a law degree then straight through with one year law school then articles. But also DD is signed up for law school next year and is just finishing her English degree - it will have 'cost' her only one year to take the other subject route but she's changed her mind about 3 times in 3 years over the path she wanted to follow.

That said, a law degree would never be wasted, even if you didn't want to be a lawyer.

makati · 21/12/2013 22:59

This all sounds so familiar. My DD is just the same, predicted 11 A*s but has done barely any revision for mocks so I dread to think what her results will be like. She is thoroughly fed up with being at school, knows what she wants to do for A levels and study at university and just wants to get on with it all. I do like to point out that some good GCSEs are the first stepping stone in all of this, but what do I know? I'm only her mum.

curlew · 21/12/2013 22:46

"All of this law stuff is pretty academic actually given that DD is on course to do pretty badly in her GCSEs ..."

She isn't, you know. She may not be on course for all A*s and Oxbridge, but there are other universities!

Original poster
Earningsthread · 21/12/2013 22:46

She is going to do some work experience with a local solicitors actually. Maybe they'll help to get her focussed. Or not

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TheOriginalSteamingNit · 21/12/2013 22:40

But on the subject of mocks: I do think there is plenty of time for her to sort herself out. My dd didn't work half as hard for mocks as for GCSEs, and we were a bit surprised she didn't take them as seriously as we'd have liked.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 21/12/2013 22:36

Dd went to talk to a solicitor's firm: the younger ones all said, just do law degree, cheaper and more efficient, and the older ones all said do an academic subject and then do law after.

Original poster
Earningsthread · 21/12/2013 22:34

All of this law stuff is pretty academic actually given that DD is on course to do pretty badly in her GCSEs ...

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Original poster
Earningsthread · 21/12/2013 22:31

Yes, heard that a million times myself (and thought it too). One of my closest friends really regrets doing a law degree. Last time we got drunk together he was very morbid about having done a law degree. I did try to point out that if his major regret in life is having done a law degree rather than a French degree, he didn't have a lot of problems but still, he was very concerned about it, Then again it was late and he was drunk

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basildonbond · 21/12/2013 22:24

We recently had a careers evening at ds' school and he had a chat to a leading barrister who told him categorically NOT to do law at undergraduate level - said he was much better off doing something like history at a really good university, followed by a law conversion course

Original poster
Earningsthread · 21/12/2013 22:21

That's DH's point of view as well. However most of our legal friends come with the opposing point of view that it is better not to do a law degree because of breadth of interest etc.

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Tuhlulah · 21/12/2013 22:14

As a lawyer I wonder why she isn't going to do law at undergraduate level -in my experience it will make her more attractive to employers than someone with the CPE.

The CPE is a 9 month crammer which gets you through the basics of the core subjects, but doesn't enable you to get a feel of areas like jurisprudence, constitutional and administrative law, international law. If she really wants to do law, reading English might be 'really interesting' but she might be better advised to take Law. Just my opinion/experience.

ioughttobecosier · 21/12/2013 15:20

Everyone is different when it comes to how good they are at long-term planning, breaking down work, and on staying focused on it without an imminent deadline. (These are the types of traits that, taken to an extreme, give you the highest achievers and people who would qualify for an ADHD diagnosis, at opposite ends of a spectrum. This is quite separate from IQ!)

You don't need to be diagnosable with ADHD to have planning and focusing skills that might lag behind your IQ, leading to underachievement unless you can specifically work around those issues. So OP, don't be too hung up on whether or not you 'ought' to have to do things like help with timetables and so on - if I were you I'd focus on whether it's helpful. If it is, then do it, regardless of how bizarre it may seem to you as you didn't need it yourself at this age. Everyone is different - you'd help with reading if she was struggling with that, so if she needs help with the planning, organisation and motivation don't just write her off because you think she 'shouldn't' need help with those things.

People who say she can't really want Oxbridge or she'd be working are oversimplifying - it is quite possible to want something and still screw up getting it!

FrauMoose · 21/12/2013 15:17

Beowulf isn't part of the syllabus any more, though - both Oxford and Cambridge do require students to study medieval English. If Chaucer, Langland etc would be regarded as boring - then looking at other well regarded universities (UCL is hightly rated) - is worth doing.

But training as a lawyer is an extremely hard slog- and getting a training contract requires real tenacity.

Absolutely not for the fainthearted!

Original poster
Earningsthread · 21/12/2013 15:06

And more to the point, if the holy grail is to do a degree in English, there are swathes of that degree that are dull and painful. Anglo Saxon, for instance. Beowulf. Pointless and painful. We all have to do pointless and painful things, don't we?

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Original poster
Earningsthread · 21/12/2013 14:55

This is precisely my point. She argues that she is not remotely interested in most of the subjects she is studying at GCSE. They are painful. In fairness she does do well and self-starts with the subjects she likes. Which are English, IT and History. She promises she won't need me at A level, and I do believe that because she won't let me go near her in English and that is my own degree subject.

But you raise an interesting point. How many of us have studied for pointless exams that were painful? All of us, I am guessing. If she does want to be a lawyer (which is what she currently claims to want to be) then you spend years studying for pointless and painful exams. I am a very earnest mother but I am not proposing to stand over her for the next 7 years. There comes a point where you say 'it's up to you, munchkin' and hand over. I am guessing that point comes very soon.

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Tuhlulah · 21/12/2013 14:14

But if she needs to be stood over and berated by a tiger mother to make her do the work to get the grades she needs to get into Oxford -what then? OP, are you going to live with her in Oxford and stand over her then?

Will she be able to cope with the stress of being at Oxford? Is she up to it?

basildonbond · 21/12/2013 13:58

Earnings - this was us with ds exactly a year ago ...

He did manage to pull things round a bit by working like crazy in the summer term of y11 (talk about leaving it to the last minute ..) but he didn't get the string of A*s he was so sure of

He has effectively closed the door on Oxbridge (was also considered a 'natural Oxbridge candidate' by his school) but tbh with his (lack of) work ethic it would be completely the wrong place for him anyway

Good luck with making revision timetables and standing over yr dd - we did all this and it made not a blind bit of difference - if you find a technique which works, please let us know!!

bishbashboosh · 21/12/2013 13:06

I would be concerned too op and would arrange an informal meeting with school expressing your concerns

They'll be glad you are bothered!

tiggytape · 21/12/2013 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Earningsthread · 21/12/2013 12:54

Brilliant thought Beck! I mooted this with DD, and suggested that we draw up a revision timetable together and work on things together. She said yes (unusual) and then added that she'd rather I did this because she'd never get round to doing any revision if I don't stand over her and make her.

Righty ho. I'll do it. It's bizarre though. My parents never stood over me in this way and nor, frankly would I have wanted them to. When does this degree of support stop?

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BeckAndCall · 21/12/2013 12:13

Here another thought, OP - is she the type to visually plan? Maybe she knows what she has to do but doesn't know where to start?

For my 3 ( all different) they all need lists and priorities ( DS only recently so tbh, now graduated). But my 2 DDs ( one in yr 3 at a RG uni doing English, one waiting impatiently for a Cambridge decision - so I know what it's like to have clever kids where they are expected to get all A*s) - they need coloured lists and timetables.

At this time of year - 5 months out from exams - they would have some small goals for the holidays written onto a hand drawn timetable - so might be ' rereading all notes on x book, or do 2 practice maths papers - and they schedule them onto specific days. And as a matter of school routine they have week by week planners to keep track of homework, deadlines etc.

But as we get closer to exams, it gets very involved with colour coded activities and events, interspersed with revision sessions for different subject, starting off as general sessions about 6 to 12 weeks out from the start of exams then getting more topic specific as you get into the last 6 weeks of revision. If your DD sees things in either colours ( as one of mine does) or as a linear progression into the future ( as I, weirdly, do) this is a good way to chunk up what seems like a massive amount of work into something that you prove to yourself in advance is manage able.

lainiekazan · 21/12/2013 12:08

It's all very well some posters advocating that parents let the child get on with it, it's their life, if they show no ambition, blah de blah, but every child is different.

Some are motivated and self-sufficient; many are lazy arses or get badly sidetracked as a teen. I had laid-back parents. Never said a word to me about school. With hindsight, I wish they had given me a kick up the backside. I achieved well, but spent about 1% of my time on schoolwork or revision and 99% on boyfriends/pop music/reading stuff totally unrelated to the task in hand. Eg during my O Levels I became transfixed on the disappearance of Agatha Christie. I was down the library ordering books and reading up on this and making notes. During my O Levels!! Needless to say my results were patchy.

I trot out this tale to ds ad infinitum. It's not fun, it's exhausting, but sometimes it's a parent's job to nag.

NoComet · 21/12/2013 12:01

She's 15/16 she already knows what grades she needs for Oxford.

Gentle reminders to turn of Utube/Dr Who and revise are one thing (I do a certain amount of this).

Nagging is quite another and liable to be very counter productive

Original poster
Earningsthread · 21/12/2013 11:55

Hello Curlew/Cassandra

DD is very well aware indeed that she requires all A or mostly A. I have been voicing this regularly and increasingly loudly. Don't worry, she knows what she needs to do. The unfortunate thing is that she shows no signs of doing it.

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