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Original poster

Do you pay/reward your children for their results/reports?

63 replies

shewhoneverdusts · 19/07/2006 11:08

The title says it all really. The reason I ask is my dd (12) has taken her yr9 sats this year and her friends are all bragging about their results and how much money they are getting for it. She got the same (and some better results as they did) but I don't feel it's necessary to pay my dd for what is essentially a normal part of school life. Just wondered if I am being mean or what others think.

OP posts:
Jackstini · 19/07/2006 11:29

I used to get rewarded but only based on the grades for 'effort' rather than results. Anything above a C was rewarded, anything below a C, I had to pay my parents! It worked for me and my sister.
Now in the real world I get a bonus for hitting target but based on results rather than effort!

melrose · 19/07/2006 11:28

Marslady, that is a lovely idea about the books. Going out for a meal is too as a something you do together to celebrate something good, as you would if you got a new job or something. Money is just so odd as no thought gone into it and no "sharing" involved, just cold financial transaction!

bluejelly · 19/07/2006 11:25

No -- I was never rewarded and don't reward my dd either.
Academic acheivement should be a reward in itself! ( she said pompously!)

schneebly · 19/07/2006 11:22

I didn't get paid for mine and wont be giving cash to DSs either but we might go for a meal to celebrate or have a special tea or something!

MarsLady · 19/07/2006 11:22

I have always bought mine a hardback book at the end of each school year. I tell them how proud I am of them for working hard. I write that in the cover of their books as well.

I love love love books and give them at every opportunity.

When DD1 came back with stunning SATs results I told her that I was really proud of her. She asked if we could go out to dinner to celebrate and I agreed!

melrose · 19/07/2006 11:20

The more i thin about this, the more I think it is awful to pay for results. Think it leads kids to expect something material for everything they do, does not always happen in the big old world does it? Someon esaying well done and thank you for working hard is far better than, here have a tenner.

OppressedLiberalPinko · 19/07/2006 11:18

Don't like that at all. Might give a reward for trying hard- esp if the child perceived the topic as v dull- but definitely not for the results themselves.

BettySpaghetti · 19/07/2006 11:18

DD is only 6 but when shes got a swimming badge/gone up a group at swimming or when we've got her end of year report we've tended to have a well-done type family outing of her choice ( go for a meal or swimming trip).

Its nothing outrageously expensive but I think its nice to show her that we're proud of her for doing well/trying hard. Also its a family thing not just "bunging her some cash".

KBear · 19/07/2006 11:16

Praise is enough reward in my skint opinion!! I make a BIG deal about school reports and achievement generally but stress the "We're so proud of you" rather than "here's a present" thing. I think children love their parents to be proud (I know I do!). My two puff out their chests when I tell them how proud I am of their good behaviour or when they've swum three strokes of the pool or did as they were asked without me screeching!

hotmama · 19/07/2006 11:16

This was always a gripe of mine when I was at school - my friends got cash/pressies and I didn't!

My mum's response was that she just wanted me to do my best - and didn't want to reward/pressure for giving cash for particular grades etc. At the time I thought she was just being a tight wad - but in hindsight think she was right.

Sherbert37 · 19/07/2006 11:14

I get mine a game for PS2 or similar for reports and to take on holiday. Do make a big fuss and perhaps go out for a treat, as my parents just expected me to get top grades and didn't really show appreciation. Sane fuss for each child, regardless of result, as long as they have done their best. Has worked so far (age 13, 11 and 9).

Greensleeves · 19/07/2006 11:12

I've always thought it was weird and abhorrent. I certainly won't be doing it. But I know lots of people who think it's normal.

MIL told dh she would buy him a boat if he did well in his A-levels (he was sailing enthusiast). He got 4 As and 2 S-level distinctions - but no boat

I just don't understand parents paying children for passing exams. I think it robs the whole educational process of its meaning - the point of passing the exams is that the child is working towards his/her future, surely? Shouldn't that be its own reward? [mouth pursed like dog's bottom emoticon]

melrose · 19/07/2006 11:11

My best friend's DAd used gto pay her for results. I used to get much higher results but no money! Don't think it did me any harm. My Mum just used to tell me that as long as i worked hard, did my best etc the actual result did not matter so she was not going to pay me for it!

Think i used to get the odd treat, but more for working hard than actual results, so more likely a trip to the cinema after exams ended rather than on results day.

Mine are pre exams now, but like to think I would be the same