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Original poster

Why didn't they tell us?

42 replies

NettleTea · 15/11/2013 11:55

Just a rant really
Have another longer thread about yr 8 DD and her school refusal/ MH / physical health issues and had been looking round for alternatives, poss flexi schooling, possible home schooling, possible anything. Someone suggested a hospital school so I did a search in my area and came up with Christs Hospital school, which is not a hospital school, but a wonderful looking independent school with full bursaries available for those who pass the entrance at for yr7 or yr9.
Looked like a fantastic opportunity, and not far from us.
Except that applications closed for year 9 in sept.

So why was the option of local independent schools who offer bursaries never mentioned to us. We have no grammars in our area, and there was only one child we know who took the 11+ and travels 80 mins each way to go out of area. My DD had outstanding results in every test at primary, was put several levels above her peers. Is in the top group at secondary. If schools and government are all for social mobility, why are we not told about bursaries for secondary level? If she was in a prep school we would know all about it. I can understand why the secondary school might not want their brightest pupils absconding after yr 8, but why are the primaries not telling us. Why does the LEA not send out info about independent schools and which offer scholarships and bursaries, as standard, with the info it sends for selecting your Secondary place.

OP posts:
Norudeshitrequired · 15/11/2013 22:12

Perhaps I should have wondered more why the existence of bursaries doesn't seem to be so well known, especially if children are identified as outstanding, but come from a family where private education may simply not have occurred as an option because of their finances and an ignorance of financial assistance

Perhaps because it's perfectly possible for even the brightest children to get a decent education in most state schools. You seem to think that private = better and also more appropriate for bright children. I don't agree. I think different schools suit different children.

RandomMess · 15/11/2013 21:00

Christs' Hospital does now take day pupils and does offer up to 100% bursaries dependent on income however it is a competitive environment and I can't imagine boarding would suit your dd at the moment, learning to live with other people 27/7 is hard work!

However I do agree that independent schools do not advertise their bursaries/scholarships at all and I can only think that they want to keep admissions to a certain kind of parent - one that is pushy and desperate for their child to attend that particular school?

I really hope you find a school that suits your dd.

Original poster
NettleTea · 15/11/2013 20:54

Help is just beginning to come forward ~ she has a specialist psychologist connected to her unit in London, but it's far from home. We have been trying to get help for the underlying problems for some time with very little success - we felt that we were dismissed from CAMHs because I was assessed as having the capacity and ability to cope.
I do think a different school, a smaller school, would be preferable now. I am certainly going to take a good look around.

OP posts:
curlew · 15/11/2013 18:06

Are you getting any help and support? I have a school refusing nephew and it's been a nightmare, to be honest.

mary21 · 15/11/2013 18:06

Do you think a different type of school would suit your DD . A very small school or one with a completely different ethos. If she is very bright youcould research if there is an appropriate Indie with that feature in your area . Call the school explain that your DD is very bright but the current school is not working big time. You are without funding would there be any chance they would consider her and consider giving you a major bursery. They can only say yes if you ask. If you don't you will never know. Box hill and Frensham may be near you. Or if you want girls only Priors field. But think carefully about why the current school is wrong so you don't go for more of he same

Original poster
NettleTea · 15/11/2013 18:04

I don't know. I guess I am in a not great place and am clutching at straws, and DD saw the open page and enthused about it. I suspect though, until she sorts out the underlying problems ( which we are starting to, though she is literally in hospital now, having come out of theatre 4 hours ago) that any school would pose the same problems for her, apart from the online live lessons she is doing at the moment.
I think I've got myself into a mess on this thread tbh Sad

OP posts:
curlew · 15/11/2013 17:23

Why do you think she would be better off at an independent boarding school?

Generally speaking, bursaries to private schools are nothing like 100% of the fees, and there are plenty of other expenses too-so they are out of reach of very low income families, even if they knew about them.

Original poster
NettleTea · 15/11/2013 17:17

Ok I realise I am probably being unreasonable in expecting the LEA to want to direct parents elsewhere. And I am in a very low income bracket, so there was never any possibility of even considering independent schools, so I was completely unaware of the bursaries. At primary there was never any indication that the 'outstanding' secondary would pose any problems for DD, and to be honest the school refusal isn't as straightforward as 'simple' refusal.
Perhaps I should have wondered more why the existence of bursaries doesn't seem to be so well known, especially if children are identified as outstanding, but come from a family where private education may simply not have occurred as an option because of their finances and an ignorance of financial assistance

OP posts:
HmmAnOxfordComma · 15/11/2013 15:55

I'm with the others, I'm afraid.

Our ds has Asperger's syndrome - there is NO provision in our county for able autistic children at secondary level, but neither his primary school nor the LEA suggested the local independent school to us (which is where he is now at and which has an excellent reputation with Asperger's).

Why would they? The LEA want the funding for each child to stay within the state educational system and the primary school staff were anti-private schooling. We did our tour of all the potential state schools, didn't find a match, researched the independent school, liked it, applied and saved like billy ho (and downsized) to fund the fees.

I do hope you can find a good solution for your dd.

Floggingmolly · 15/11/2013 14:27

Who exactly do you think should have brought you up to speed on the fact that Independant schools give bursaries?

You have to be in dire straights financially to get a full one, anyway. And your child has to be attractive to the school in some way; either academically or sports wise.
Doubt a school refuser would fit the bill.

schoolnurse · 15/11/2013 14:21

CH is full boarding only and in my experience school refusers don't do well in a full boarding environment. They can and do board and even full board eventually but usually it's phased in over a relatively long period of time. So if I was in your shoes it wouldn't be my first choice or for that matter second third or fourth if my DC was a serious school refuser.

ArbitraryUsername · 15/11/2013 13:08

Why would it be the state school's responsibility to tell you about deadlines for private schools? Confused

Norudeshitrequired · 15/11/2013 13:03

It is the parents responsibility to research private schools and the possibility of bursaries if they choose to go done that route for their child. You can't blame the current school or the local authority for not being proactive yourself and looking at all available options very early on.

givemeaclue · 15/11/2013 12:59

Schools have to really want a child to give a bursary, wouldn't they be unlikely to want to give a bursary to a school refuser? If she refused to attend then she would be taking a place from another child.

It is not the local authority's responsibility to give parents information on independent schools. Parents are expected to do their own research on all the options available.

curlew · 15/11/2013 12:21

But if she's a school refuser, why would an independent school be any different?

Original poster
NettleTea · 15/11/2013 12:20

Thanks, maybe 6th form is a possibility. It's not there specifically, but just the fact that, as an option, it was never even mentioned.

OP posts:
derektheladyhamster · 15/11/2013 12:01

I have no idea, my son is at that school, do not be swayed by the accounts of full burseries, they are for people who are living solely on benefits. About 90% are on some form of bursery, but it's still very tough - do not expect any spending money or to be able to afford to commute anywhere! Definitely no holidays!

They do take quite a lot in the 6th form, although not much help at the moment Sad