Which school do I put as 1st choice?

It all boils down to something v simple:

Check what might have happened to her 11+, decide re appealing etc.

If there is any chance of getting a grammar place, put it first on the list.

Put the excellent other school second on your list

Put any other good schools you might have a chance at next on the list

Put your nearest school that you would definitely get offered a place at last on your list. (if it is actually the school you would like least)

Remember:
To appeal a place at a school, you have to have listed it.
Once schools have been allocated, you will automatically be put on the waiting list for any schools you put higher up your list.

Sorry to hear you had a shock and upsetting result.

Could it be that the whole experience of the exam put her off? Being clever does not guarantee that children perform well under exam conditions - another brutal aspect of the 11+.

If you are in England the info that the school gave you is wrong. Schools can only (by law) admit according to how you meet the entry requirement, and not where you put them on the list. So if you live very vey close to a school but pace it last on your list you will be offered a place at that school ahead of someone who live further away but puts it first.

The local authority offer you a place at the school which is highest of your preferences and which is able to offer you a place.

So it is important that you list the schools in the order that you would genuinely prefer them.

Look at as many schools as possible. And look at the school's profile on the dept of education website and check how well high achieving children do in that school. Will you have a chance of getting into the other excellent school? Is it oversubscribed? Do you live close enough?

Sorry your dd has had a disappointment, but there may be value in appealing, and good education doesn't only happen in grammar schools, as you know from the other school you have seen.

Everyone gets one offer on National offer day, if you don't get one of your top choices you automatically go on the waiting list for any school higher up the list than the one you were offered - and then over the summer there is a big shift round as people move up waiting lists.

Good luck!

the other secondary basically said that anyone who put them as second choice would prob not get in as they are so popular.

That's bollocks. Grammar first choice, it will make no difference whether the second school is first or second after non-qualification for the grammar.

I'd suggest putting the grammar school on the CAF and appealing. I don't think you will be able to appeal until after March 1st though.

I hope your DD is OK. I have two DDs who have successfully gone through the process but it is brutal. Received wisdom seems to be that it's rare that someone gets in who shouldn't, but too often someone doesn't get in who should - which seems to be the case with your DD. Good luck for whatever course of action you choose to take.

There is no harm putting the grammar first especially if it's borderline. There are waiting lists before appeals as well. I know one boy who scraped in off the waiting list.