Saturday detention and inflexible school.

Maybe time to drop the scouts stuff and concentrate your attention on your DS for the time being ?

I sound flip I know but I have recently had to admit that the voluntary role I was undertaking was simply putting too much strain on my family with an already packed schedule and have therefore taken a massive step back, with excellent results at home.

starball I would ordinarily agree with you about out of hours detentions. But in this case the situation is clearly extreme. 15 homeworks missed in little over a year??? That's really serious. The OP appears to be completely unsupportive of the school, and her son. He commitment to scouting seems more important to her than the fact that her son has clearly serious issues. :(

Also I used to do Brownies I couldn't have messed about 24 lovely girls for something like this.

Yes undone HW needs to be tackled, but in still maintain schools can only ask for children to attend outside normal hours. They can not demand.

No way, for example, should well behaved siblings miss their Sat activities because another DC has not done their HW.

OMG, my dcs didn't do homework, we refused to sign the agreement and would never have agreed to saturday detentions as far too busy.
Tell them to stuff it, what are they going to do?
Some schools think they own kids.

Parents know the school has this policy and you agree to the school's policy when you send your child to the school.
Our school only uses Saturday detentions for extreme behaviour (or ongoing behavioural issues). They are detentions with the headmaster and they are a BIG DEAL. They are not rearranged for sports fixtures but the date is agreed in consultation with the parents.
I think the sitting doing nothing for a detention for not doing homework is pathetic though. They should be doing the work they haven't done.

Ivy It is silly if it's stopping a 12 year old from doing their homework. It is silly if its stopping a parent from actually doing the job of a parent. The OP clearly prioritises scouting above her son's homework. I think silly is quite a mild description in these specific circumstances actually. Do you think she has behaved reasonably?

Scouting is not a silly hobby and Schools do not own Parents or siblings free time.

Out of hours detentions are IMO very very dodgy.

RussiansOnTheSpree that is so rude to call hours and hours of volunteering a silly hobby, did you mean to be so mean and nasty?

Yes whatever they still postponed!

Come on now. I'd expect a better attitude from a scout leader to be honest, yours sucks.

He likes scouts, he likes his computer. Right they're now gone. No scouts or computer unless his homework is completed to the satisfaction of the teachers. Does he have a homework diary?

I've always wondered what schools can actually do if DCs don't turn up for Saturday or after school detentions.

Fortunately my DDs mostly keep out of trouble, but we live in the middle of no where, no public transport, so I'm certain plenty of DCs have no way home and just don't turn up.

Rainbow I think the point you are missing is that you should have not gone on the scout trip. You gave completely the wrong message to your sons. It's clear where your priorities lie - with a silly hobby, not with your kids' education.

so let me get this straight

he went to school for a detention last year and the teacher failed to show up for the actual detention? So he didn't do any of that particular detention and got off scot free?

So this extra hour you could look on as that one he missed last year

or hope that there is a repeat of a no show by the teacher and he doesn't get this saturday detention.

I would suggest to the school that the punishment of a detention ona saturday is clearly not working as either to stop your son misbehaving or for the teachers as they don't show up and possibly could they look at another avenue of punishment with you that would deter your dc from misbehaving

Rainbow..
just a quick question.
What were you wanting from this thread?

Get your son to go his homework. Homework seems to be last on his list. And yours. Why is he not doing his homework? And why aren't you checking that he is?

Aarrgghhh they HAVE been flexible, they delayed it a week I'm really not sure what more you can ask for?!

You really are coming across badly, he needs punishing. Why are you quibbling over an extra hour punishment. He deserves the punishment. He has to understand things have consequences!

How can you say they are inflexible when it got deferred. You haven't responded yet on why he won't/can't do the homework set . Presumably other kids can do theirs in limited time. I'd have thought he should miss the extra curricular stuff until he is producing the goods but you seem to fuel his attitude by not accepting it is his responsibility.

life is boring.. he has to get over it.
scout stuff is about self discipline as much as other things. He can't demonstrate his ability to do his school work he can't go to scouts.

What about my suggestion of him being on permanent report from a few posts back.
It made a huge difference to us.

but they are flexible aren't they? They let you postpone?

Really, your weekend commitments are not the school's problem.

The school have been flexible, they have changed another date for you.

OP, what does your son do at home when he's supposed to be doing homework? What other treats / incentives do he have at home - screen time, after school activities - that you could work with? Putting £50 of £1 coins in a jar for a computer game and remove £2 for every homework missed etc.

Has he explained why he doesn't want to do the home work?

You're really coming across as you're not willing to be the parent and punish your own child for not doing his homework and also you're not willing for the school to punish him in their way that has been clearly spelled out to him.

He needs to do his homework. Does he like being a scout? Simple no homework, no scouts. Does he have a playstation? Simple no homework, playstation is gone! Etc...

How are you punishing your own child, it's not just up to the school to rectify this issue, it's your sons and your responsibility too!