Tearing my hair out over State boarding

clavinova the tutoring factories that put children through months of repetitive VR/NVR for the Tiffins are exploiting the fact that the state grammars haven't invested in keeping the tests tutor proof. For properly developed tests with investment in keeping them unpredictable there will be no more benefit in doing more than around ten practise papers to familiarise you with the format. Most indies and I would hope Reeds will, like most businesses who use them, pay to get tests that are properly developed and maintained, and will give them an indication of ability not tutoring.

You seem.to be going to great lengths to board your child. Personally, id move, sooner than send mine away unecessarily, which in your case, I think it is.

Hope it goes well today Teddington. Don't underestimate the VR/NVR elements of the Reeds exam - going over a few practice papers won't be enough as many state school children have been coached in these disciplines as well - all over the Kingston/Surrey region. The good news is - six weeks of 'intensive' practice at home should be enough to dramatically improve scores for beginners. I see that Reeds use GL Assessment - go to WHSmith in Kingston and you will see a vast array of books on GL VR/NVR!! Also, Bond11plus (Bond Online) can be helpful although they are a little easier and have more question types than GL I think - good for boys who like using computers though.

Teddington you will always get boarding bashers on MN as some people really think it is cruel to do that to your dcs. Having said that on another thread I have seen people being hugely supportive of someone having problems getting their dc to board.

You know what is best for your ds. Good luck to your ds for today's exam.

Sledgehammer to crack a nut!

Wondering whether the OP thought this thread would be full of people saying that it was utterly wrong for an 11 year old to be home alone for an hour or so a day so that she could show it to her son's father so he will stump up for school fees.
There doesn't seem to be any other explanation for her utter refusal to think that a situation faced by probably the the majority of secondary school families can be solved in any way but boarding school.....

Re my post above. Just remembered it wasn't a flat but two rooms in a shared house my friend had, which made the accommodation less than suitable. The boy spend much of the time living with a grandparent

I have a friend whose DS was offered a Foundation Place at Reeds about 5 years ago. She is a single mum, no support from the boy's father and living in a very small flat, working but with a low wage and receiving tax credits. Someone from Reeds came to visit her at home to assess the 'unsuitability' of the home circumstances and the area. The child was interviewed too, at the school - I think he said they talked about books.
The HT mentioned old boys Sebastian Faulks and Tim Henman, at least I THINK that's who, but don't take it as certain..
They didn't take the place in the end because a bursary was offered at a school nearer home in the midlands.

OP, you may still end up paying a large fees bill for any of these places.
But, have you got money put aside for university education? It may be much better for you to go with Teddington and focus on saving for university, which I have no doubt that your son will reach whether he goes to boarding school or not. Your finances don't sound that strong and if you have the chance of a good state school then I honestly think that you should take it.

I would seriously consider the advice on here to advertise for someone to do after school care. You may well find that a responsible sixth former would be happy to do it a couple of days a week - I used to babysit after school when I was 17 - 19 (and on track to get AAB from my state comprehensive!). Or put an advert on Gumtree - it is free to do so and you can test the waters and see what kind of response you get. A retired teacher might be interested? Honestly, it will only be for a couple of years that you need someone, at the most.

badgerB I have said that I respect OPs wish for her son to go to CH, I entirely understand. I have a lot of friends who have sent their DCs to Boarding Schools for various reasons, mainly admittedly being overseas. However it was financially feasible, DCs wanted it, the family agreed on that course and DCs were bright and able to get in. With so many of those factors up in the air then OPs insistence that that is her only real option in the face of all the parents telling her that the other option is also a good one is a bit . The local school does not have a gang problem unless you count a few lanky lads with floppy hair kicking about the park or playing loud music and Xbox in their bedrooms, the sort of thing you will find in every boarding school. I know of one lad who it was suggested should leave, and went off to Boarding School, just for being a bit of a bully and would be Lothario. It is very much a school with middle class problems.

Agree with others that for the sake of an hour or two a day, some of which could be spent traveling, at an extra curricular activity, local library or friend's house , being so set on a boarding school as the only option seems a bit over the top. A term or two in , you may well find yourself wondering why you are financially committed long term to a short term concern. Some state schools will also allow pupils to stay onsite in IT labs or library, after school to do homework or use the gym etc.

BadgerB I don't think anyone on this thread is against boarding per se but in this case, we have no idea if the OP's son is happy to go as his wishes haven't been mentioned at all. OP also seems to be choosing boarding because a) she can't contemplate organising after-school care for her 11 year old as she doesn't want him to be home alone after school. Her work place changes frequently but in primary after-school club worked well so late/unsociable hours care obviously isn't an issue and b) because the local state option is deemed unsatisfactory despite people local to the school in question telling her that others would give their right arm to be in catchment for that school.

OP seems to be putting all her hopes on getting a boarding place at schools which are difficult to get into, which she can't afford and for which she is relying on hopefully getting a bursary, and schools which her exP doesn't want his ds to attend and for which his consent may be necessary for the admissions process and for which she says she will need to get a court-issued Specific Issue order.

I can't wait until the DC are secondary school age and broadly able to look after themselves for a couple of hours a day...

Why is everyone - well, most - so very much against boarding school? It's hardly Dotheboys Hall! If DC are happy to go it's better than coming home alone, grabbing a sandwich and turning on the TV or computer. Or worse, wandering around with 'the gang'.

You still haven't told us what your son thinks about the boarding school idea? Does he get any say? Also, if you don't want him home alone, have you tried to get an after-school nanny/babysitter? Seems a bit less drastic than sending him to boarding school. Even if he needs someone to look after him for his first year at school this is such a short-term issue, he will not want someone home with him when he is 13/14!

My son really enjoyed having time to himself at home before I returned home. What do you think is going to happen to him? Won't he just do the same things he would if you were in? Tell him not to answer the door or landline. You can phone his mobile if you need to.

Our town not too far away has a holiday scheme for 11-16 year olds. It's well subscribed.

I might let an 11 year old be home alone for 2 hours a day, but weeks at a time?

At 10 I was going all over the place but unfortunately the world is not the same as it was

In what way? Why is the world any riskier today than it was twenty years ago?

Though I did find this holiday club for up to 13's

I guarantee you that the parents taking their 12 or 13 year olds there will be paranoid over-protective obsessives. Look at those photographs. See any children over ten?

What no holiday clubs your kidding right !!??? Are you trying to push me over the edge .....

Holiday clubs are extremely rare for anyone much over 12, and that only because places catering mostly for primary school aged children are willing to push their upper age range up a bit to offer a service to infantilising parents who worry about their tweenagers. There's no market for them otherwise.

I came back to add your ds will mature so much in the next 11 months, honestly he will be so much more capable of being home alone.

What things did you do alone when you were 10? What age did you go to town shopping with your mates? What age did you take yourself to and from school?