Tearing my hair out over State boarding

OP I'm not getting drawn into this slanging match. All I will say is that we choose to send one of our DS's to a full boarding school and have done since yr 2 despite having an ofstead outstanding top performing comp with spaces and a band new building on our doorstep. I have never regretted it. It's simply better. But if you work full time and are worried about child care for a yr 7 child do think about the long holiday, exeats as a full boarding school CH will most likely have one every half a term and inconvenient pick up times ours ranges from 9 am through till 4 PM in the weekday. All fine if like me you have a flexible job or someone to help but problematic if you of a 9 ish to 5 ish job Mon to Frid. As you live in London you probably have good public transport links; we don't, but it's still a bit much to expect a 11 yr old to bring home on his own two suitcases, a tuck box, lap top, and sports bag.
Good luck I hope you find somewhere.

"If you're really concerned about your DS being a latch key kid, you might be better served by sending him to a good state day school which offers after-school and holiday activities, and where he'll develop a good network of friends to socialise with outside school as he gets into his teens."

Absolutely. But she isn't. The latch key stuff is just smoke and mirrors.

I dont nake that remark to all parents of boarders - I make it of the OPs situation only.

Her reasons for boarding are absoloutley unfounded, are, it seems to me, a matter of sheer convenience to her alone, and not for the benefit of her son and his education.

That's a harsh and very judgemental remark MortifiedAdams. It seems to me that the OP and her partner are each very concerned to do what they think will be best for their son in their particular circumstances. Choosing a boarding school can involve huge emotional (and financial!) commitment, and certainly doesn't signify simply that a parent doesn't want their child at home.

Feel.sorry for this lad.

His dad doesnt want him at home and neither does his mum.

OP, It's worth remembering that if your child does get a boarding place at CH you'll have exceptionally long holidays to cater for - two months in the summer, four weeks at Christmas and Easter, and an extra-long two week half term in October. And I think they finish school at about 1pm on Fridays for leave weekends every three weeks, so you'll need to factor in whether you can take time off work to pick up your son, or whether he can travel home and look after himself alone. A friend of mine has sent her child to CH, and the holidays are a real struggle, especially as her DD has few local friends to socialise with while she's at home. Most of the affordable care/ activities she's found are linked to the state school provision and operate only during their shorter holidays.

If you're really concerned about your DS being a latch key kid, you might be better served by sending him to a good state day school which offers after-school and holiday activities, and where he'll develop a good network of friends to socialise with outside school as he gets into his teens.

Interesting - the whole after school care thing has somehow vanished........

Teddington please do not be negative about your local school as your ds may end up there and you may have to sort out some after school activities etc - I would also explore those possibilities now so you don't have a panick if the boarding schools don't work out.

If your ds gets turned down for CH on the 2nd assessment would you still board him elsewhere? A lot of that assessment is based on whether they think each child is suited to boarding, it really isn't for everyone.

You don't get it do you OP? We had no choice when my DDs were 4 or 11, only of schools judged failing so I worked to pay the fees. When my DD was sitting the Kingston Grammar School exam one dad with a couple of toddlers was looking lost and asked me where I could take his toddlers. We sat on Fairfields and his story made me cry. His DS's teacher had entered his DS and paid their entrance fees, and I would have done so too, and paid their fare. Presumably you would dismiss him as "dire" but it is precisely those bright kids the bursaries are designed to help. Maybe you will be lucky and the pupils most in need don't get considered but ..........

I wouldnt want my children spending hours alone every day. I grew up like this. When i was younger i was lonely and when a little older i got up to trouble. My mum had little clue of where or with whom i was with. I would choose boarding school over this.

Actually your ds would probably get a better education at Teddington than at Reeds ...

What's got people's backs up is your insistence that a) your ds can't possibly do what thousands of other secondary school children do - spend an hour or two on their own after school; b) your dismissal of one of the most sought after comprehensives in London and c) your weird sense of entitlement

Indeed I doubt very much that the Head of Reeds will share OPs prejudices since he can only manage 30% A*/ A in English Language with his selective intake whilst Teddington manages 29% with it's non selective intake, considerably better in top sets. I think he may well be very grateful for OPs above average son.......

Going to hide this this thread as you may not think you're rude OP but you have a really shitty attitude. And strangely enough thousands of families manage without sending their children to boarding school because of lack of after school clubs. If you're that bothered send him to private school and let someone else have a funded place at boarding school.

Badger I was offering constructive advice. I know the schools. Teddington School works with several prestigious local Independent Schools like The Lady Eleanor Holles exchanging expertise and on joint activities in sport, drama, revision sessions, model united nations etc etc. It is known as an excellent state school amongst indie Heads, it really would be counter productive if OP tries to paint it as anything else. They really will not share her prejudices.

OP, I'm afraid I can't offer any insight into your solution but I do know there are many, many parents out there with grown up children who now wish they had thought a bit carefully more about what their kids were getting up to once they started secondary school.
Good luck!

Ffs ! Leave the OP alone, can't you? She wants her son to go to boarding school, he is happy to go. She can't afford full fees so she's asking around about bursaries. Good for her! And schools WILL want to see if she's a "chav or poor yummy-mummy" - meaning that they will judge whether she is likely to support her son's education.

RVP I think she considers that since she isn't a "chav or a poor yummy mummy" or "dire" she is entitled. I think she may be a stereotype all of her own .

Teddingtonmum I would do your very best to keep your sense of entitlement under wraps at the interview, take a hint from how you have antagonised people on this thread. I really haven't ever seen a thread on the Educations threads where the OP managed to provoke so many negative reactions. Certainly do not try to pull the wool over the eyes of Reeds by trying to dismiss Teddington as a "local comp". They are only a few miles away, not another planet. You need to find some solid reasons why Teddington is not right for your son, eg it doesn't have the facilities for him to develop a particular talent or competence, underpinned by facts. So far all we have seen on here is irrational prejudice and nothing that would convince many of us here you were genuinely deserving of this opportunity for your son .

OP you are really quite rude and have a real sense if entitlement.

It just would have been so much better f you had just said "I want my child to go to this school- how do I go about it?"

It was all the bullshit about not wanting him to be on his own for an hour after school that irritated.

No wrap around care for secondary does not mean boarding is the obvious and only option. What dichotomous thinking. If the primary school wrap around care ran until 6pm and that worked for you, you are only really looking to fill a couple of hours at most. There are millions of options: the local library, after school clubs, sports clubs, childminder at her house, childminder at your house. Or perhaps a combination of these things.

Or do you actually want him to board, for other reasons, entirely separate from the childcare issue between 4pm and 6pm?

Well if you can't pay for it it doesn't really matter what you want does it - your pfb doesn't have any more right to a fabulous education just because you're stamping your feet about it ...

The Reeds foundation places are meant for children whose families are in truly dire situations, not children living in the leafy catchment of a highly sought after secondary

will be bricking it guess they will be checking if a chav or a poor yummy mummy

And suddenly, any trace of sympathy anyone had left evaporates.