Tearing my hair out over State boarding

I don't think CH is a private school in the usually accepted use of the term.

The point is that with schools such as CH you only pay means tested fees... in some cases this means £0 and help with travel and clothing given to you.

Even got reduce private orthodontic work from their orthdontist! It was medically required work but wasn't available on the NHS at that time (is now)

"curlew this state offers the same as independent schools and those if us who are playing are just trying to prevent our darlings from mixing with the chavs has been done to death on MN"

Anybody who says that state schools can offer the same as independent schools is just plain stupid. However, so is anyone who says they should. Independent schools have much more money and can be as selective as they want. Of course they can offer fives and polo and amazing GCSE results. Because the parents are paying for them. They aren't free- they are just included in the fees. I pay for the activities my children do too. The difference is that I pay for them separately- not as part of fees.

happygardening exactly - there is just no comparison at all, hard to explain until you've been part of one and seen it with your own eyes.

curlew this state offers the same as independent schools and those if us who are playing are just trying to prevent our darlings from mixing with the chavs has been done to death on MN. I had child in a high performing ofsead inspect and judged to be outstanding across the board academy with a fab new building acres of playing fields and beautifully behaved middle class children only .2% on FSM. The sort of place your average urban dweller dreams of sending their DC's too. I also have a child in one of the countries most famous and top performing independent academic boarding schools. I'm not be patronising here but until you actually have a child in one do you actually really fully grasp the difference. We have had DC's in independent ed since nursery and I thought I'd seen it all but I hadn't grasped how different it was going to be. IMO the top school are just in a different league and I'm not just talking about extra curricular activities it's the whole package.
No one can blame the OP for wanting this for her child and seeking advise about financial assistance maybe she presented her case badly and rubbed people up the wrong way but she like most of us is trying to find the best possible education for her DS.

Friday i think the school in educating yorkshire got significantly better results than teddington. 86% compared to 74%. I actually watch educating yorkshire and think the school looks a million times better than my old comp in putney.

Can't afford them, aren't available locally, working full time so can't ferry them everywhere - 3 dc at home so juggle them all doing something but neither their primary nor secondary school offer any sports straight after school - in fact nothing at primary and virtually nothing apart from homework club at secondary.

curlew how do your dcs manage to do 'all the activities they want to'? Who takes them to all their after school activities?

But why can't your dd2 do those things? I have children in state schools and they do all the activities they want to. Some at school, some out of school.

random OPs local school is a highly sought after outstanding comp. 800 parents who made it first choice were disappointed last year. It has the green acres, new £30m building by the river, wide range of extra curricular, well above average results (actually better in top sets than Reeds, her preferred boarding option). It also has a lot of families where both parents work (partly so that they can afford to live in a suburb served by outstanding schools) and I can assure you, because we have such families living in our road, that the boys come home and get on with homework, chilling etc, hanging out with friends, just like my DDs did when they came home from school. Only difference being the brief grunt at me as they walked through the door.

If the OP had come on here asking advice about getting a free place at a private boarding school I am sure most would have understood. It is trying to make out her need for these charitable places is greater than that of others, dismissed as "dire" or "chavs" because she doesn't like "the local comp" and she doesn't want her son to be one of the many who manage quite happily until their parents get home in the evening. There are many many pupils whose need for the support and stability of these schools is greater.

Meanwhile my eldest was off wall or rock climbing, clay pigeon shooting, fives, playing rugby, being in various bands, orchestras and choirs, army cadets, etc. etc.

I understand your point basildonbond, however even if your local state school is decent/good you may still be wowed by what another school has to offer.

I don't like the fact my dc2 wants to go out and meet up with friends down the park, around the town/streets. I'm grateful that the weather is turning so she is more likely to invite them around rather than hanging about. I'm not sure what I would do/how I would feel if my dc were going to be home for 2-3 hours per evening and me not knowing what they're getting up to...

Random - if the only choice open to the op's ds was a school like you're describing then she'd have got a lot more sympathy ... However her local state option is not like that at all ...

Absolutely. So why not say so, instead of spinning a load of baloney about latch key kids?

And actually, I would be very happy for my children to be in the charge of the teachers in Educating Yorkshire

Which isn't quite the same thing as actually being at the school, is it?

The point I made though is when you've seen a fantastic school like CH is most secondary schools are going to seem like a poor relation even if academically they are good. It's hard not to set your heart on something especially if your child wants it too.

But the point is that the OP's available state school is not like that.

And actually, I would be very happy for my children to be in the charge of the teachers in Educating Yorkshire. And I wouldn't like them to be in the charge of some private school teachers I know.....

I had a couple of friends who had horrendous times at secondary because of that sort of thing, they were the only people to put their hands up / answer questions / show any interest in learning and being educated. Sorry but I'm not happy that dc2 is having to endure that sort of environment. I went to decent secondary school in an area where very very few go to private school, I now live in an area that is incredibly wealthy and the difference in secondary school results is astounding

It's very difficult to work hard and try and achieve when you're in the minority.

Indeed. I doubt anyone's watching "Educating Yorkshire" and not thinking "you know, I'd sell a kidney to keep my children out of this school".

But that isn't reality is it, the reality is that my dc will be at a pretty shitty school with lots of pupils that have appalling behaviour. I am very grateful it has improved enough that they now have more that 7 pupils sitting GCSE french, geography and history...

It's very difficult to work hard and try and achieve when you're in the minority.

And if they selected pupils the way private schools do..........

And if they had the money a private school had..........

Why?

Our local state school is AWFUL in terms of facilities, extra activities and results the only good thing is that they can walk there!

"I really wish I could afford my younger dc to go to a good private school sadly the local state schools just do not compare "

You do realise that this is a rather silly thing to say, don't you?

I can honestly say though that most (perhaps all) state schools do just not compare once you've seen the likes of CH, the facilities, the opportunites, the extra curricular stuff, the ethos, the support they get. I really wish I could afford my younger dc to go to a good private school sadly the local state schools just do not compare