Tearing my hair out over State boarding

Think maybe posters are being a bit harsh on op. If she works in London or down M4 corridor for example, the commute alone may mean she wouldn't get home until 7pm or later. She may have a requirement to travel for work, early morning/evening conference calls, entertaining etc all of which may not fit into a 9-5 day. Sometimes it is hard to imagine how your 10yo would be able to cope with being alone for longer periods and more independent within a year or two.

If state boarding is being used so that people who are a bit anxious about their secondary-age children being home between 4.30 and six, then the costs to the state of providing it can't be justified and the places should be either made available to people who need them or the money should be fed back into the mainstream system. There are millions of children who go to school in the morning, return in the late afternoon but whose working parents don't get home until six. What makes the OP so special? This isn't an account of someone living up a six mile dirt track in the Highlands and Islands, this is an account of someone in Teddington FFS.

Unexpected the local state school her son would get a place at is OFSTED outstanding and very heavily over subscribed, it really isn't "not good". Many local parents would be very grateful for a chance of a place there. There are also two other good local state options that she would in all probability get a place at, a parent led new Free School which has a lot of support from local parents and a new Catholic School. I respect OPs reasons for wanting her son to go to CH but she is being misleading in claiming she doesn't have the choice of a very good local state school, every bit as good as Gordon's the state boarding school she has applied to. I would hope any judge would not dismiss the local school as not giving the chance of a good education because, in terms of a state school education Teddington is really as good as it gets.

I'm with Unexpected here. Boarding school is overkill - why haven't you responded to any suggestions here for alternatives? What is your real motivation?

Always worth looking at other alternatives, CH is very competitive academically (kids are often level 6 who do the exams) so do look around.

Is your son happy to board? Is boarding really the only option? I know you say the schools around you are not good but surely there are private day schools (in your area there must be lots!) where you could equally apply for a bursary?

You say you have an issue with him being home alone but thousands of school children travel to secondary school very safely every day in London. If you have managed with after-school club in primary that suggests that, regardless of your job location changes, you manage to get back by 6 ish. Honestly, if school finishes at 3.30, even if he comes straight home he will be alone for max of two hours. Once after-school clubs start he won't even be coming straight home every day. Do you not think you can trust your son to come home, get on with homework or just veg in front of tv? If not, there are childminders who will look after secondary age children or as others have suggested, this is the perfect job for a college-age student or part-time TA or nursery nurse. Going straight to boarding for seemingly no other reason that childcare (and remember than is a very short-term thing - very few 15 year olds needs childcare!) just seems drastic.

Such are the differing attitudes of judges to things like this that it really does depend on the individual judge on the day. It might be worth trying to find out if there have been similar cases to yours. In my area the judges are known to always fall heavily in favour of fathers.
Think I read in the most recent CH info that they are allowing boarders home on a Saturday evening if there is a defined reason to do so but they do have school and matches on a Saturday until late afternoon. What does your ds want to do? Mine was very keen on CH until we looked at the daily timetable.
Also when will you know if he has a place? Seem to remember the residential assessment comes later than the exams which could effect the date of the specific issue hearing.
Good luck with it.

Just to throw my experience into the mix. I do think it is possible you could get a specific issues order from the court. In RL I deal with these frequently and had one which was very similar to you except it was the Father (who was non-resident parent) making the application for DS to go to a boarding secondary school and Mother was opposing it. F was in the military and so received a considerable deduction on fees and was willing to pay the remainder himself so no cost to M.

The hearing took 3 days and the Judge decided to make the Order for the DS to go to the school. His reasons were 1. The significant difference in the quality of education the child would receive from each school, not just in terms of academically but also extra curricular. 2. There would always be the option for the boy to return to the state sector but there would not be the opportunity for him to take the place offered by the school again. 3. The boy WANTED TO GO TO BOARDING SCHOOL - it sounds obvious but this was the overwhelming fact the Judge relied on, they sent a CAFCASS Officer to speak to the child and he had written a letter to the Judge outlining the reasons why he wanted this opportunity and what he was looking forward to in attending his new school etc. the Judge said that a young man who felt strongly enough to write such a letter (given to the CAFCASS Officer not handed in by F) deserved the opportunity and then it was for him to make of it what he will. (He also made some comments about the terrible writing, grammar etc of the letter and how he hoped the new school would provided a better education that the state school had done thus far, but that is by the by).

So do not feel disheartened about making a specific issues application, I have had a number similar to yours and been successful, often for very different reasons but your strongest/weakest point will be your son, what he wants to do and why. At the age of 10/11 his views will be taken strongly into account. (also feel free to use the "he will resent his father for denying him this opportunity" argument if your DS does want to go as I find it to be particularly powerful to a Judges ears!)

what about study zone in twickenham for after school care

bisjo , probably not .If a child no-showed several times and was perhaps holding a place for which another child was waiting or was mandated to do (ie. a music scholar to take part in an ensemble) then maybe.

Don't secondary schools actually check if pupils don't turn up to after school activities at school?

I would add that with my own DDs once they hit puberty I might as well have not been home for them at 4.30, if they were not at friends or after school activities, I am lucky I get a grunt and after that extracting them from their room and social networks and episodes of American crap that "everyone" watches, with homework fitted in around that, was next to impossible. The days they bought friends home were the only ones where they spontaneously interacted with me as a human being . Having me there chivvying them to do their homework and rationing the American crap was an annoyance. If they have a problem at school they will almost always want time out to stew on it before discussing it with me anyway, those sorts of conversations tend to happen after some chill out time and dinner.

Turing website, they have an Open Evening on 10 October www.turinghouseschool.org.uk/

Teddingtonmum
I know lots of DC who have gone to Teddington, it is an outstanding comprehensive entirely on a par with Gordons. It is a shame it doesn't have wraparound care for you but that is probably because there wouldn't be the demand. However it does have strong pastoral care and it is rubbish to say they would not be hot in taking action if your son was absent. At Secondary school your DCs really do become independent. Costing what it does to live around here many DCs have single or two working parents. Our neighbours son who goes there has lovely friends and they don't tend to turn up home until 5 or 6 between after school clubs and / or having a kick about in the park. Then they tend to come home with each other. My own DDs were at one of the local selective indies (a chance of a place at Teddington would have been very much appreciated in this house) and a lot went home to an empty house from age 11, often with two parents working in the city etc and not back until 8. With after school clubs, homework and having tea with friends it really did not affect them, if anything made them more self reliant.

St RR definitely don't have an after school club but Turing House is still in planning stages and may well be receptive to parents requests for one. It is a very exciting offering they have developed and well worth considering, it may in the end have a site that is accessible from Teddington.

I wish you well with your Boarding Applications but I think you will struggle to argue priority given so many other parents are in the same situation, and the alternatives really are not as bleak as you paint. Over a 1000 parents made Teddington their first preference last year!!

You say there is only one choice of school in Teddington? What about the new free school opening up. Also Richard Reynolds in Twickenham and Twickenham Ac can't be that far away. Secondary kids travel much further than primary.

I do understand (haven't had a conversation with mine for over 10 yrs!) Just that specific issue order can backfire and go totally in his favour so do gather information that you've looked at other alternatives. For a specific issue order your situation would have possibly too many variables of what can be done instead so you are then faced with the 'no order' principle and as your ex has a contact order the judge will be paying a lot of attention to your exes parental rights. As your ds hasn't been to boarding school before then it is viewed that there is no obvious 'need' to do so now as the amount of care you need to provide gets less as they get older. A judge looking at this issue also won't care that your local options are rubbish, but may suggest his fathers address be used for the purpose of identifying schools.
I do really understand your situation and how difficult it can be, just be prepared for a judge not seeing this issue from your side particularly as it seems that your ex has contact 4 times a month plus school holidays which is roughly standard for nrp so he wouldn't legally be classed as not being involved.

State boarding schools prioritise their applications by need for boarding. forces and other Government internationally mobile staff come first, then others according to need - SS referrals, other highly mobile families.

Difficulty in after school arrangements isn't going to out you very high up the list (still worth a shot, though). Bursary for flex-boarding in the private sector may widen your options, and your reasons for boarding simply won't come in to it nor will they be compared to other applicants.

Perhaps you could foster him out to me, not got a son...

Shame the local school still isn't that great but at least it's improved enough that my younger dc are/will go there.