More yr 7 Homework angst. Please help

Certainly you will have to build up his stamina; termtime is a whirlwind for children, especially those who do sport and music as well as all of the other clubs and activities. My older son has a similar bedtime by the way, so I for one don't disagree with 8:30 as time for heading to bed and reading. But equally I know that there just isn't much downtime during the week in termtime, and every member of my household keeps asking me how soon is halfterm!

What you must watch out for is how he gets through the 2nd half of this term. If it is like many of the independent schools local to me, then Saturday fixtures for Year 7 haven't fully kicked in yet: they are still training those who haven't played much rugby or hockey previously. After school fixtures aren't always possible as school don't have enough floodlighting, so Saturdays become a day of sport (and one less day for catching up on prep). From year 8 fixtures start from the first weekend of term.

His mood will change as the end of term approaches, and he will be not just arriving home in the dark, but in fact he will be leaving school in the dark too. It is not unusual for boys to have some form of meltdown in the last week or two of school. Judging by ds I would say most of the detentions etc are awarded in the final 2 weeks of term, when frankly they are exhausted! Trying to fit in all of the Christmas season into the first week of December because of the early break-up is also a bizarre experience that you have ahead of you!

Has he had any study skills training yet? Ds's school, which takes about 20% of year 7 from state schools, offers a buddy scheme, and also specific study sessions from memory in the second half of the first term. Certainly a chat with his form tutor is the starting point. The speed aspect is a puzzling one as I would expect that there is a huge variety to the type of homework he gets (vocab, reading, writing up, research), so I'm surprised that they all take longer. Is someone at home when he gets home? I would certainly be tempted to observe closely for the next week or two and see what is being set and how long it takes. The other thing to consider is that often homework will be to finish off what was started in class, and in fact there may be an issue with how much he is getting done there?

[We also play Settlers of Catan, just not in termtime!]

Right, it's time to take control & be firm with him

Dd goes in half an earlier because dh has to be there at that time. That half hour before registration is strictly designated as homework time. Another day girl is dropped off at the same time as her mum has to take other siblings to school afterwards/get to work, so they do their homework together (except yesterday when instead if doing homework she spent the entire time searching lost property for her tap shoes!)

So your ds either has to use this time effectively or he has to go in later, hence being able to get up later & go to bd later.

Ds's commute by car is approx 1 hour.

Is there anyway you could pick him up at the station? The bus journey at the end of the school day must be very tiring. As he gets older & stronger he could do the bus journey some days building up to 5 afternoons a week. I'd also drop him at the station in the morning if I could (says the sucker who drops DCs at school for early morning training as it seems mean to make them catch the train before 7am).

I agree that a 3 hr a day commute is going to become increasingly unsustainable. However much your dc may speed up, the quantity and level of work will naturally ramp up year by year. Is this length of commute common for the school? If so, how do others manage?
I would suggest that your dc notes when they come to the end of the allotted time on the homework, and if they really want to finish, carry on beyond and then note how long the piece took beyond the set time. Teachers might be able to better see where the issues lie then and be able to help in a more constructive way.

Getting home at 6, eating dinner, taking a shower, doing 1 1/2 hours of prep then going straight to bed. Something has to give. Either you organise your day so you can pick him up a couple of days a week, or you live closer, or you change a ridiculously early bedtime. Or, of course, change schools. My DD who is 12 attends a school half an hour away by bus, leaves home at 7.30am, gets back at 6pm, completes the prep she hasn't done in school time then has about 2 hours to herself before bed. If she has to work on longer projects, generally she's given a few days to complete it so works for a few hours on a Sunday afternoon. She isn't a morning person either but is in a routine and knows she can sleep in on the weekends.

Indignatio, ah yes dreamer of dreams. How could I forget? Didn't our boys do well? From what I remember of your DS it's likely to be a case of speeding up and learning to stop after 20 minutes?

I just hate that there is no room for manoeuvre. What if the's a party? Or they just doesn't feel like spending the 3 hours they have between school and bed doing homework one night? Or there's an England match they want to watch? Or a friend for tea? When do they just do nothing, or think or mess about? When do you talk as a family, or play a board game? Music practice? What if they suddenly want to learn another instrument, or take up basket weaving or something? As I keep saying- it's not sustainable long term.

My Y7 DD goes to prep so that I can pick her up rather than her going home to an empty house by public transport.

She generally gets three preps a day and does two of them in school. That means she just has to do one at home. Y7 preps are typically 3x20 minutes per night.

If you are worried about how long you DS is taking, write it on his prep or in his planner. You can make your own choice as to whether he stops on the 20 minute mark or goes to completion.

The teacher may be inexperienced and perhaps a bad judge of how long preps take (for all students). If so, she needs to know so that she can adjust.

If your DS is slower than the rest of the class, then this is also important to record. When he comes to public exams, they will want to know his usual way of working. The more info on his extra time requirements and allowances in day to day operations, the better for getting the best exam arrangements for him. Don't hide any special arrangements, as they are designed to help your DS fulfil his potential.

This is why I made sure my DCs went to school locally, my oldest gets lots of homework and revision and really benefits from being home 10 minutes after the end of school.

I agree - it's about them deciding how to manage their time.
Not that my two ever go and work in the library!

Curlew - aren't evenings for socialising/playing too? If it's pissing down with rain at lunchtime and some of DDs friends are doing a club or just chilling out then she will go to the library with one or two friends to crack on with homework, thus leaving the evening free for mates over for tea, swimming club, guides, Miranda on catch-up etc.

Ladymuck, the amount of homework may not ramp up in later years - DD gets a similar amount now (though often fewer but more in-depth pieces) in Y10.

Marmite, my DD was like that in Y7. She still gets very stressed by homework/revision, etc pressures at times

My children have had this level of homework and I had more when I was a year 7 at a grammar school. What is excessive is the travelling. I thought some schools had travel policies and enforced a travel time limit. These timings are all wrong and it will only get worse when exams loom! How in earth will ge manage A levels? It is important to join in with opportunities at school and this regime is like being at work. Such a shame. The school may be the best fit when he is there but the limits put on his life are not so good.

I'm not trying to suggest changing the school. But he is facing 7 years of this. If he ends up in years 10 and 11 with 3 hours commuting, and 2-3 hours of homework there really won't be much time for socialising/DofE/sports/music etc. I think you need to look at other methods of transport, or possibly even moving house. Are any of his classmates nearby?

Regardless of whether your son is taking too long or not to do year 7 homework, if the schools ethos is to give this amount of homework in year 7, he is going to have a lot more in later years. Yes, you need to get him used to working at the appropriate standard in year 7 (and it is obviously a jump).

English reading - surely this can be done on the journey home?

If you have 3 hours to do prep, food and shower, then that seems like plenty of time. Is the issue that prep finishes at supper time? I certainly wouldn't be rigid about not working after supper - sometimes it has to be done.

Oops sorry about phone typos.

My DD1 is also struggling with homework in year 7. In fact she had been off sick 2 days this week with what I mos realise is stress She is also getting 4 pieces of homework a night and ix finding it very stressful. She was at a state primary and is now at an all girls state academy with very high standards and tough discipline.

I emailed her form tutor and head of year tonight and gig z phone call straight back. Thankfully the head of year ix going to have a friendly chat with her tomorrow which will hopefully help with her anxiety. She is enjoying school but do terrified of forgetting a piece of homework and getting a detention. What a massive step up secondary school is ...

Hope you'd DS feels more in control soon.

"However, he is in a class with others who seem (and. I could be wrong) to be able to cope with the amount set"

Can I ask why you think this?

Oh, and no down time at all is just not sustainable. Really.

I hate the idea of homework at lunchtime. Lunchtime is for playing and socialising. Or for going to clubs and activities.

Can't he do some in the library at lunchtime?? DD does, very disciplined, although she gets no where near as much as your son.
Poor kid, loos like work, work, work.

It may well be that the level of homework settles down a bit after half-term/he gets used to doing it and so a bit quicker. If not, I would contact the school and ask for advice.

Forgot to day bedtime is 9pm. It really should be 8.30pm considering the early start but we feel she needs done relax time.

Gosh that is a lot

Dd has similar if not worse timings (incidentally she went to a prep where she hit approximately 10-20 mind homework 3 days a week

She gets up at 6pm to be out of the house by 7.15am, only for her school doesn't finish until 6pm (it's a vocational performing arts school where they dance from 4-6pm

She gets in at approximate 7.30-8pm (having eaten at school)

She gets approximately 2-3 pieces if homework per night (1 day per week there is none, mist nights it's 2, 1 night is 3) and usually gets a full week to complete it

She usually does 1 piece in a morning when she gets to school before registration & 1 piece at night. She has Saturday morning school but then does some homework in the afternoon

Sunday is a strictly no homework day

I reckon each piece of homework has been taking about 20 mins to complete

If she was at normal school there is no way she would cope with what you describe as she was dancing 3 days from 4pm-7pm plus Saturdays.