Year 7 - please tell me it gets better.

Well, I went to say HW to DD only discover she was out in the garden with next doors grand daughter.

So I'll spend today saying it instead.

yep. all the same i'm afraid.
I made ds2 wear stuff out of the lost property for a month before I replaced his lost rugby kit.
I replaced it, he lost it again so he paid for the replacement.

Homework, we give/gave him lot of support but he was still a bit hit & miss, now I remind him, give him the time & space, if its not all done & bag ready for the next day well before bed time - tough! He either has to do it at break time or take the punishment.
& if he gets a note in his diary about missed homework we make him miss his next club football/rugby etc.
Taking away his sport seems to have given him the kick he needs... along with a bit of maturity

DD1 somehow, follows the scribbles in her planner and DH chases both of them like a mother hen checking books and kit in the morning. I hide, I'd let them mess it up. He's far too nice.

I issue frequent reminders all evening and all week end to do HW, but no way am I finding, three lap tops, two phones, two iPods, a kindle, two DS's and a mp3 player every time I want HW done.

I do suggest that Dr Who has nothing to do with Geography etc quite often. DD1 still gets 99% in science exams so she must do somethings she should.

Xen do you actually have teen children? If so you might realize that they won't go to sleep when you send them to be regardless of screens. DD1 reads, she draws, she knits and sometimes she practices her singing and wakes up DD2. She does not go to sleep!

Now I need to say HW to DD2 and hang up wet socks.

As a secondary school teacher I would say that some kids need extra support from their parents and so whilst I agree with "tough love" 11 and 12 years of age can be quite young to be self organising and motivating.

My advice would be for parents to check the planner every evening and make the child do their homework before they watch TV, play computer games or go around to a friends. Take all screens out of bedrooms too (including the computer - homework doesn't have to be done in their bedroom) kids will go to bed at whatever time you say but won't go to sleep as they will be on FB or on a game.

Vitamins are a good idea too as lots of bugs go around this term.

Bags should be packed the night before and left near the front door so nothing is forgotten.

Lastly allow kids to take the consequences of losing PE kit, pens, etc - they often need to learn the hard way but do make sure all equipment is clearly labelled (on the outside too) so it can be returned easily. Lost property may have your DC's stuff as well so it's worth getting them to check.

If you really have a concern do contact form tutors as they will work with you to get your DC back on track and organised. Good luck!

My DS now YR 9 lost a complete PE kit including new trainers in first term of year. It was all labelled and did come back eventually, but took a couple of weeks. My DS has lost coats, pencil cases and has left his PE kit behind in lessons so many times I've lost count! He does seem to get them back quicker now, he spends the next few days tracing his steps the day it went missing and going to lost property.
He is fully aware that he will have to replace anything that does not turn up. I have not wrote him a note for missing PE kit, not sure what he does, but he has never had detention.
He is very disorganised, I now give him one reminder each night about homework (casual enquiry) and to pack bag for next day and then leave it to him.
I used to stress/worry that he would get detention if he forgot books/equipment, but it made our evenings miserable (felt I was constantly on at him to sort himself out).
He is a bright lad (top sets) but lacks basic common sense when it comes to organising himself. I have made sure he has all the resources he needs at home i.e.time table on pin board in bedroom, folders, revision guides, computer access and equipment but if he chooses not to use them he is now old enough to face the consequences.
To answer your question OP, does it get better? I would say NO, his PE kit is left somewhere in school this weekend, he has no idea where! But as a parent it does not stress/bother me like it did when he was in year 7.

My DC are dyslexic, so school added a helpful card to the planner requiring teachers to write in (or supervise another pupil writing in) the homework. You can't do homework unless you have instructions that at least Mum can interpret (my DC couldn't always comprehend even when the teacher had written it).

I find it does all get better as they get older. DD has just started GCSE and has got ahead in her homework (and even enjoys some of it!).

For DS at one point we organised his books in folders, so he just had one folder for books for one part of the day (before break, after break, after lunch).

I refuse to read planners, they are 11, they are old enough to read it themselves.

Anyway DD1 is dyslexic her planner is illegible and so criptic she doesn't know what it means.

Even DD2 doesn't write anything very meaningful.

Honestly does anyone's child actually write anything in their planer other than 6a-11b or Castle thing, or more likely, knowing DD2 "I think we might have Hw - ring Jess". Except of course she doesn't write all that.

I've no idea what she writes, she'd explode if I looked at her planner and rightly so. As far as I'm concerned, as long as they get good marks and keep out of detention it's not my job to micro manage them.

I haven't a clue what they are doing for signatures, probably forging them, Since no one has asked this year.

DD1's tutor probably doesn't look, he doesn't read out messages.

As for detention DD1 has avoided it for four years and DD2 has only ended up in it due to a subject she loathes and will give up ASAP.

A little trick I learned early on with my sons was to not sign the planner, unless I had actually seen the homework completed. No sight, no signature and yes detentions followed but they learned pretty quick.

DD is fine about kit (mostly) but tends to get lost herself.

Her new form tutor said almost in awe, 'She has no sense of direction at all, does she? She turns the wrong way to get to the door inside the classroom!'

Dd is a nightmare for losing bank cards, oyster cards, purses, bags, homework everything. I have torn my hair out because of it. I have tried to leave her to it but it just means I end up picking up the pieces after and I knew I was exactly the same.
Dd just had a psychologist assessment for dyslexia and apparently it is all to do with her dyslexia that she has the memory of a goldfish with amnesia.

"One tip - any homework that involves computers and especially VLE type things do early - there will be technical hitches."

DD1 is threatening to get a stamp made saying "I tried to log into MY Maths" and stamp her book each time to show the teachers just how awful the site is some nights

Also HW gets better for the simple reason they stop being so tired and do a lot of it between 10pm and midnight.

DD1(15) reads until 12pm most nights anyway, so I decline to notice nocturnal HW.

DDs school had a helpful policy - penalty points (3=detention) accrued in the first half term were discarded - merits earned were kept. So they had a 'running in' period before sanctions bit to adjust.

As a year seven teacher i wholeheartedly agree with those posters who insist their DCs take responsibility for their own stuff. It is a massive learning curve for them, but in the main, children whose parents make excuses for them and challenge school sanctions when they turn up with no homework etc. tend to rely on this method!

IME, the bus is the best place to lose something - Stagecoach hereabouts are remarkably good at reuniting kids with their PE kits and passes. Whereas items lost at school may never reappear.

Oh yes, pe kit left on the bus numerous times.

Another thing I will not do is write notes in his planner explaining why he doesn't have xyz.

You have to pretend they are little again and just overwhelm them with love and cuddles.

honestly, the first week or so of secondary DD was exactly like a toddler after school, too tired and hungry to do anything coherent. But that was a short phase.

Losing things in year 7 is pretty normal(apparently this year, 6 of the new crop managed to lose horribly expensive bus passes on the first day!) ; so is forgetting homework or leaving it ridiculously late. They take the consequences and learn. One tip - any homework that involves computers and especially VLE type things do early - there will be technical hitches.

It gets better my dizzy, dyslexic, scatterbrained DD1 (who also managed to loose a full set of PE kit, leaving it on a bus) is now in Y11 and pretty good 90% of the time.

and worse, My painfully organized, at primary, DD2 is being utterly hopeless. Forgetting books and homework, losing one trainer and just being silly.

Having spent two years trying to be a teenager, she now seems to have decided she doesn't want to grow up. I'm sure it will wear off when she has real exams to work towards, but I have a nasty feeling I'm going to get two more years of this with 13 year old cheek thrown in.

Yes DrZeus - my ds got better

once he got in the 6th form

My dd2 was like this last year (year 7) losing stuff, forgetting things, not doing homework. She had various detentions for not doing her homework and I supported the school, she has time after tea to do homework, it's her fault if she decides to watch crap on tv instead. I found allowing her to experience the sanctions for herself was more effective than nagging. This year she's a lot more grown up, homework is done without me even asking, PE kit is dumped in front of the washer when it should be. It's all a lot easier.

She once rang me up last year and told me in a really cheerful voice that she'd left her student ID at home. I told her in an equally cheerful voice that I hoped she enjoyed the day in isolation because there was no chance on earth I was walking for two hours (round trip) to drop it in. She was not best pleased and put the phone down. However, she's not forgotten it again. Hang in there, they grow up and it does get better

Am a tough love parent. If he's lost it, he has to

• Go to lost property.
• Go to everywhere he visited the day he had it with him
• Explain to the games teacher that it is lost and
• Pay for the replacement (if after a week of the above it is still absent).

We have recovered almost everything (bar a £4.99 watch) lost during Y7 using this method.

Equally, homework is his problem. If he fails to do it, or does it badly, he takes the consequences. I leave home over an hour before he does, so anything he forgets is his problem.

It is tempting to do the 'only little' line, i know - but 11 is 11, and the transition to secondary is a useful 'line in the sand' to start being responsible for yourself.

Yes to limited screens and preparation the night before. If nec go for packed lunches.

But some, like Ds, are just natural born scruffs who lose things at school.

Yes to limited screens and preparation the night before. If nec go for packed lunches.

But some, like Ds, are just natural born scruffs who lose things at school.