parent year 7 wobble - join in here

Mini dipper, he sounds very much like my DS last year. We ended up talking to his tutor and agreed he would do 30 min on each homework then hand it in with my initials on the bottom.

It will get easier and as another poster said, by half term you will have worked out which days are heavy homework days and which days you have to catch up. We pretty much had to work with DS to make sure he didn't get behind which wasn't ideal but you sound as if you are doing a great job.

Bear with it, it will get easier.keep in contact with his tutor and let them know he is struggling.

I agree - homework should not be taking that long in Y7 (I have a Y7 and a Y8) and sorry, but you really need to step back....

Y7 is the time of doing it for yourself, working out what needs to be done when, getting it done - either at home - or at school during lunchtime. You do not need to know his timetable codes - he does....

I ask mine if they have homework when they get in - if it is for any time next 2 days, they get it done, if for after the weekend, they leave it for Sat morning..

They let me know if they need anything (50p for vocab book, sticky back plastic for their French book cover, clean PE kit, hockey socks for games etc). But THEY sort themselves out....

He really shouldn't be spending so long on homework, OP. Maybe drop his form tutor a line?

Joining as I'm feeling all over the place too! Ds mostly ok but subdued and learning fast that not everyone is nice. Nothing serious like your ds mumslife just general stuff.

I think it's because for the first time we are watching our dc negotiate things for themselves, no sorting out from us. Sadly I drove past ds walking on his own today, without his friends, head down. It was all I could do not to bundle him in the car and take off to the Hebredies!

And I'm learning not to ask who he had lunch with....

Mumslife - glad to hear they have sorted the bullying :)

Feeling the same here. DD is a new year 8 (we are in Northern Ireland so that is her first year at grammar school). She seems to be coping fine but I worry a lot. We did the separate folder for each subject too but her bag still weighs a ton and she is tiny. What I have realised is that she is much more capable than I thought and she has managed to sort a few small dramas out for herself! We will be fine!

Most of DS's rucksack weight is down to sports kit, as he seems to have joined every sports training session possible! I don't know how long that will last, but he loves sport and would do it every day if he could.
He just looks so very small under his huge bag.

Mine is ok in the main, but they were given a music homework to learn 'a' song to sing to the class/music teacher tomorrow. What a palaver! It took until last night before he decided on a song in case he got laughed at about his choice. He has Aspergers so panics about things anyway, but this has been horrendous. They were told to take music on a CD but we only have it on memory stick... (hopefully he has remembered to ask today if that's ok).

We had tears last night.
I think she's doing really well as she has been home edded, but she is not finding it easy.

Minidipper so glad you started this thread - just what I needed after my dd had tears at bedtime - she had mentioned over the weekend that she felt sad . Even though she loved the school on the open day, enrolment day and the induction day it's still been a massive shock actually going there every day. Last night she said she feels sad all the time and just wants to 'feel herself' again ... I gave her loads of cuddles and reassured her that it will getter better, to make it worse her youngest sister is starting school with her other sister next week and I think she misses the 'cosiness' of her old primary school.
Thanks for all the tips - I will keep reassuring her, cooking her fav dinners and spoiling her a bit till it gets easier ...

I mean by summer term of year 7. Ds1 came down with a stress related viral sore throat by week 5 of first term, and I can remember just thinking, thank goodness we don't have to get him off to school this morning and have the afternoon spent dealing with homework stress. We were so desperate for a break by then. But now it isn't like that at all, every day at school seems perfectly manageable. I'm even noticing how much less stressed I am by the twins going to Secondary so it must be a maternal pyschological reaction as much as their own experiences

I so identify with the feeling that all evening is just spent doing school stuff and then in the morning it starts all over again, relentlessly We had a 9pm homeworker here too.

Ds1 is in Year 9 now, and I noticed how much free time he had by the summer term, so something must have happened - either the homework got easier or we were trying too hard at the beginning, or 3rd explanation, we got better at doing everything!!

Maybe also set him small, managable goals? Like "try and get to your locker at lunch time". And when he's worked out how to time that, he could start removing stuff he doesn't need at that point ... and eventually do that at break (which is shorter) and lunch.

In other words, break big, overwhelming things into baby steps that will help him get into a routine. I can really understand the feeling of being terrified of forgetting things, given the prospect of dire things happening if he isn't equipped. But he does need to start learning how to organise himself or he'll wear himself out and that won't help his frame of mind.

And presumably you are looking with him at what subjects he has the next day, so he doesn't take everything with him every day?

minidipper I wrote a post earlier for you and lost it as we went off line or something....but it does get better .

I was in the same situation as you last year and just did not know how we were going to survive it.

But I remembered some words of advice my mum gave me when I had ds 12 years ago (and she normally doesn't do "good" advice" !)

"Give it 6 weeks and you will be over the worst"

It gave me something to focus on and not think it would be neverending and it worked (nice routine sorted by 4 weeks!)
So I applied the same thought to ds's first few weeks at school....

We gave our selves to 1/2 term to get into a good regular routine and see how it goes.....by week 4 we could see a pattern in our week that was working (and what was not!)

I was honest with ds and said it was all new to me as well so we were doing it together...and it was a learning curve and I would not know all the answers all the time of what to do ,but we would do/work things out it together.

For us that worked ...

Bags ...yep they can get heavy ...nothing you can do about it apart from get good rucksack (and not huff and puff and make silly noises when you personally pick it up and hand it to him!)

Ds has happily gone back into yr 8 this year and him and his younger brother are experts at covering books in that sticky back plastic stuff.....so good in fact ..I have decided to resign !!!!

Hope it all goes well

I was feeling like you this time last year. My DS had loved primary school but clearly wasn't loving secondary. Nothing major though, just like you are finding, mine was a bit subdued, a bit flat. And in all honestly, secondary school didn't really click till the summer term!! That settled in feeling just takes longer for some than others. I have a very happy and confident year 8 student on my hands now though.

Whenever I have a wobble I remember how exciting I found my first year of Secondary - the new friends I made, the lessons I still remember to this day, 38 years later...being asked to guess what an "osier" was has stuck with me...My drawing of an earthworm I had to iron as the paper was so crumpled, my Halloween costume that year (I was a peacock I'm hoping the children are going through the same variety of new experiences. 11 is quite a nice age really - no teen strops, no gang life, no spots. Still interested in making real friends not just being cool.

My twins have been happy all last week, but today dd had a major hissy fit over her homework at 5.30pm. Tiredness no doubt and fear of getting things wrong. I still waiting for ds2 to explode but I don't doubt he will follow at some point. And they are at different secondaries It is the travelling and the admin I think that takes it out of them.
But ds2 is enjoying the actual education!!! So far.

Mine is having a wobbly too. One minute happy and the other overwhelmed. Am surprised at how emotional it is for me. I am sure it will all even out. We have him a phone yesterday and I was very happy to see him texting new friends.