Hi mumsnetters,
I often read past discussions and find these very helpful. Feeling increasingly stressed, I'd like to share my dilemma.
My DS, Year 5, got really disheartened with his prep. Since last year he's been nagging to change his school. It's a good prep that sends scores of children to the top schools every year. In Years 2,3 he had good results (between 80-90 pct) and boasted great self-confidence. In Year 4 this changed - his self-confidence went downhill as did his results. Now both of these are only a shadow of what they were. Around the same time my husband and I were going through divorce and this has certainly affected DS.
Because of the divorce and cost of living in Central London, I'll have to move a bit far out. Clearly the question where to move is tied up with the schools, which are both currently in Central London. As DS went on and on about complaining about his school, I thought that this was the chance to kill two birds with one stone. We visited a couple of schools - Dulwich and Whitgift and my son literally fell in love with Whitgift. Seeing him so excited and 'wanting' a school was a breeze of fresh air. He sat late 10+ exams. Effortlessly got in. He's due to start this Sep.
His dad isn't that happy with the choice of the school, and neither are grandparents. Understandably, they all dreamt of seeing this child in one of the top schools. They all hold me responsible for making this 'lousy' choice, for giving in DS's complaints. My ex is still probing whether we'd reverse our decision and keep him a bit longer at the current prep. To be honest, I don't know myself. On one hand, I want DS to be happy, self-confident and thriving. On the other, what if they were right, what if with this hasty decision I'm depriving DS of a better school later on?
This is not all only about schools. It's also about commuting. My DS2 is in a good state primary next door. I looked at Wimbledon as a potential place to move, and there are lots of good primaries there. However, an in-year place in one of the better schools isn't guaranteed and we'd need to commute to his current school. This could go on for a year or longer.
On the other hand, DS2 and I could escort DS1 by overground to South Croydon every morning. Gosh, what a drag that could be! And hire a chaperon to collect and bring him home in the afternoon. Or we could leave all as it is till DS1 is 13. The housing issue isn't urgent and I could stay where we're for another few years..
I am really quite lost. Would appreciate what anyone has to say.
Thanks!