Has anybody successfully tutored for the 11+ completely by themselves(need reassurance)

Of course. But the OP talked about VR and NVR. What I posed applies to both- wherever in the country you are. And whatever school you are applying to.

The 11+ is different from county to couth and in some instances from school to school. Talking about 'the 11+' as if it was just one thing is silly.

"Many children from very disadvantaged backgrounds will be going to Outstanding primaries,many mc kids will be going to shit primaries."

Of course. My point is that it doesn't matter how outstanding or not your primary school is, you are unlikely to pass the 11+ without some sort of outside help. Don't worry about the quality of your child's primary school- the stuff you need to pass the 11+ is mostly not taught in any state primary school. So your child won't be disadvantaged because of the school he's at- there's one layer of parental guilt/paranoia you don't have to feel!!

Nintendo Brain Gym? But what about disadvantaged children whose parents can't afford to buy them one? I thought that you was against anything that stacks the odds in favour of well off families?

Sorry seeker. I just couldn't resist it.

And (this is positive heresy!) Nintendo Brain Gym is fantastic for speed and accuracy while not feeling too much like work.

Oh OP not sure it's been mentioned but we found the Bond ten minute test papers good. Easy to do after school & they often focus on one area so easy to see bits that had been missed or misunderstood at school

Oh do shut up and read the thread, Catherine. I didn't derail. Or at least not singlehandedly anyway- I gave helpful factual advice. And the OP seems quite interested in the discussion on tutoring.

And I wasn't asking for tips on how to get my dd into Cambridge. Although if anyone has a spare place in thir back pocket....(Joke, by the way). I merely asked whether it was worth her while applying. And I started two threads because it was suggested that I had started the first one in the wrong place. So enough with the ad hominems. Don't waste everyone's time.

OP was seeking reassurance that she could prepare her son herself. This is a valid concern IMO considering the response I received in real life whenever I said we were preparing/tutoring ds2 ourselves. Much gasping and raising of eyebrows. It does appear to be a commonly held belief that if you don't pay for tutoring your child won't get in.

The OP wasn't asking whether it should be called tutoring or preparation or whether that's fair or not, she was just asking whether it's possible to get a child through the 11+ without forking out for a tutor. The answer is clearly yes, along with some suggestions of the type of approach that has worked for others. Not sure why that needs to turn into a discussion of whether preparation is tutoring - that wasn't being asked.

seeker why hijack a thread where an OP is simply asking for practical advice, and try to take it off track. Why not instead start your own thread to bore everyone with your hobbyhorse raise your concerns?
Also, interesting that I seem to remember you starting at least two threads recently trying to tap up Cambridge admissions tutors on tips to get your own DC into Cambridge even tho' his/her grades were not up to normal entrance requirements . Don't you think, (according to your own 'logic' about tutoring for selective schools), if your own DC hasn't the ability to get the grades s/he might struggle when s/he gets into a demanding course at a top Uni?

Puts up hand.

As the exam date approached DS did a test every night.

No I don't. Of course parents who can help will. And as the system stands, obviously, they should.

But the fact that some can/will and some can't/won't means that it is an unfair system. And it means that the children the grammar school system was supposed to help- that is, bright children from disadvantaged backgrounds- are unlikely to benefit. Which is obviously unfair.

I must be missing some subtlety here seeker. Please can you explain to me what is so socially invidious about parents buying a set of practice papers or sitting down with their DC to try to help them with any stuff which might be helpful for the 11+. These are 10 year olds, the stuff they're doing isn't rocket science. Do you really expect all parents to down tools just to give totally disinterested parents a chance to slack off?

That's a totally separate issue from paid for tutoring and a separate issue again from the fact that some parents obsess to an alarming degree, but their kids are the ones who suffer, not them. I hope actually that this total obsession with 11+ prep is a MN phenomenon, since I've not encountered it in the same sort of measure in RL. Paid for tutoring yes, it's endemic, but mad schedules of tests every night - no, never in RL.

Parents prepare.

Tutors tutor.

Same thing- different names.

I prepared both DS and DD for the 11+ . We did 10 or 15 minute sessions when we started preparation, practice papers as the time got closer - and one run through with the exact timings of what would happen on the day so it wasn't a surprise! I think the parent preparing the child is much better than using a tutor - you can analyse your DC's errors and target their practice very efficiently. Many tutors simply run through lots of papers without identifying the individual child's problem areas.

Satisfactory definitely doesn't mean satisfactory. I've recently qualified as a teacher and we got a briefing sheet that said so. Twas a bit Orwellian.

I don't think innate intelligence gets you very far without exam technique, tbh.

OP, I am sure you can prepare your motivated child.

Who said children being tutored by parents are disadvantaged?!
In my experience, people like to say they haven't tutored at all - the twenty practise papers they took don't count because they were in the garden or eating wine gums or something. Maybe they're children look more bright that way?
You have hardly a hope in hell of getting a kid into a gs from an average state primary unless you prepare them for the exam either yourself or by paying someone else.

"Most of the benefit of what I do with her and her tutor will be to raise her to a level playing field with those children who go to a good or outstanding school with consistent teachers. "

So it's not specifically 11+ tutoring, then?

Interesting that some people think of children "tutored" by parents as being disadvantaged. In some cases, it maybe the opposite. I cannot imagine any professional tutor investing as much time, emotional support, interest, etc as we did... So yes, I would definitely say that DS was at an advantage being prepared by the two people who love him most and know him best!!

DD2's school is in special measures. :(

OP could be describing my dd's school. Bottom percentile for everything and "Satisfactory" rating by Ofsted. Dd is in Y4 and is on her 20th supply teacher so far this year.
We will be trying for SuperSelective and I do some work with her at home when I can. She will have a tutor once a week from September. Most of the benefit of what I do with her and her tutor will be to raise her to a level playing field with those children who go to a good or outstanding school with consistent teachers.
Hardly fair and makes it so much harder for her to have a chance due to being so disadvantaged in comparison to so many of the other dc she will be up against.
Haven't even mentioned yet those at preps with/without tutors.

Sorry OP, meant to say, you can absolutely do it yourself as long as you're clear on what will be in the exam and use the relevant practice papers.

And yes, you'd be daft not to do some preparation, regardless of how good or bad your DS's primary school is. The tip about finding somewhere to do a 'mock' is a good one too.

I know the answers you want seeker but we don't fall into your neat category I'm afraid, with the best will in the world :)

Plenty of books in the house? Reading seen as a normal thing to do? Dictionaries around? Questions thought about and answered, or looked up if you don't know? Younger children seeing older ones reading?

I'm afraid with so many so young (six under seven at one point) I didn't read with them no. Reading for my own pleasure would have been a luxury too far in those days as well. I certainly couldn't have done it while they were awake and around. I did do their school reading with them though, most of the time, just until they could read. Then they read to themselves. I did buy them books.