Join in here if your PFB is off to secondary school in September or if you have any advice for thew newbies

My youngest moves up this September. I'm very laid back but was extremely nervous before my eldest went, so ask away, if there's anything I can help with - no question too silly....

What kind of school bag? Will depend a bit on the school, at my 2 older dcs schools there is a mix, and there's no 'wrong' bag in Yr7

Are velcro shoes a no-no? yes

Do they ever wear coats? Or jumpers? DS is always cold - does he need to toughen up?!............ ds never does, but dd still does (she's Yr9)

Does sports kit stay at school or go in when needed? ds - in when needed / dd stays in her locker, so once again, this is a 'depends on the school, and on what the situation is with their lockers

How often will he lose his Oyster card? No idea - mine walk , but probably if they had had them... ds, about once every 3 days, dd, never.

Are they allowed to carry their phones around all day (presumably switched off?)...... Yes, in most schools - generally school rules are 'must not be seen or heard', no-ones going to go around frisking them or searching their bags

HTH - ask away as you think of more things

Dreading it, both for me and DS1!

He's been mollycoddled in primary - his Grandma is the head. She doesn't mollycoddle him, the other teachers do though. Even though I keep saying don't .

Anyway, he is going to a school where he knows NO ONE. Literally, no one. He's a sociable thing, so I'm not so worried. But I still am, if you know what I mean!

I'm also worrying at the fact my mum won't be around to remind me of stuff as our life is pretty hectic at times with me working full time shifts. Juggling balls can be dropped .

I'm absolutely dreading him walking to school, it is 0.7 miles mostly down quiet roads on an estate. However, we live on the main road, and he has to cross this. There are no pedestrian crossings at the traffic lights that allow him to do a complete cross over. They do have someone to cross them morning and afternoon, but he won't be always coming home right at the end of school if he has an activity.

I'm dreading giving him a key to the house. I'm dreading Tuesdays when he could possibly be on his own at home from 3pm-7.15pm if I am working a late.

Also, shoes/bag/coat/jumper! Which ones, and what is cool/not cool!

I am thinking I'll not buy him a coat til after he starts and he susses what to get. Same for the jumpers. I'll get him one, then get more if he actually wears the thing. He doesn't at primary....

Shoes - school rules state no trainers, no boots, no velcro. Um, I hate to point this out, but having just scoured Next, Clarks and M&S, they don't actually have what the school are asking for! Plus I want him in something supportive and safe for bad weather. I don't see what is wrong with something that is more boot than shoe?!

I haven't heard a peep from the school. With him being the only one going there, I worry we will miss out on things and won't hear about what we should. I think I will phone on monday and ask if there is any information I should have received yet.

I'll join in. DD1 starting in Sept. She's quite relaxed at the moment, and looking forward to being reunited with a friend who has been abroad for a couple of years and is returning in the summer to start at the same shcool.

I think she's going to suffer badly from "small fish in big pond" syndrome. She is very much the golden child at her primary - prefect, top of the class, "joy to teach" etc etc. Which is lovely, but I suspect she won't get quite the recognition she is used to at a comp of 1500 students .

I have been through this once with DS1, who is now coming to the end of Y8, but now DS2 is about to start and his SENs make him quite vulnerable, so I'm having kittens all over again.

These would be some of my top tips:

Put locker key / house key on to some sort of chain and attach it to the child / clothes or bag somehow. DS1 has a split ring keyring attached to his school trousers and then the keys clip on with a caribiner. None lost yet!

Warn the child that you will charge them a nominal amount for each item of uniform / kit / equipment that goes missing or gets broken. It seems to focus their minds towards looking after their belongings more carefully.

This is a hard one; try to step back from getting involved with the homework too much. They need to learn what happens when they don't hand it in on time or when they hand in substandard work, and Y7 is the best time for this.

Try to encourage them to carry a bag that distributes the weight on both shoulders. With padded straps. Many secondary school children are carrying more than 10% of their body weight, and they will only get one spine.

The coat / jumper thing seems to vary even within one school. In Y7, coats were socially unacceptable for DS1's year group, but jumpers were fine. In Y8 it was the other way round.

Personally I found PFB's move to secondary very stressful - by contrast he wasn't at all bothered!

What I found hardest was the completely different relationship you have with the school, as someone mentioned up thread. DS is dyslexic so he got lots of support with the transition, including going in during the summer to get to know the layouts and routines while it was quiet. I could have done with a bit more support myself. Instead of 1 teacher, TA and senco to liaise with there were dozens. DS way of dealing is to keep his head down and avoid any sort of attention or support, it was a bit of an uphill struggle to change that,still not there really.

He has also lost various things including his lunch card and Oyster, I'm making him pay for replacements now to focus his mind!

Not nearly so worried about DD who will start at the same school in September.

My second starts in September but he's my first to go up with asd and I'm worried about him coping. He won't tap into any extra help (unless needed) as he pretty much manages now but it's a little primary. He's very relaxed about it tho even tho it's only him and one other from his school going up. Luckily I work where he's starting so I can try and keep an eye on him. He's into heavy metal with longish hair etc so not typical i suppose. I just hope he finds like minded kids. They all look so little still...

Ill still be taking her to school as its next door to the junior school where ds still goes but I'm looking forward to not having to traipse her and her friends to dance class afterwards. They can walk.

The netball teacher at school said about supportive lace up trainers but we can only find two brands of trainers that fit, Clarks (too pink and babyish) and Nike (one style only) and her size doesn't fine in laces. She can tie laces (learnt at an early age with her jazz and tap shoes. )

Dd can't wear slip on shoes due to her high instep (we are considering orthotics). She is a dancer and has been told slip ones with an elastic strap are OK for the occasional party but not for everyday and she us determined that she needs to look after and strengthen her feet

She is a Size 1G and its really hard to find supportive shoes with enough depth.

PFB DD starting in September she is looking forward to it but I am secretly dreading it. She has never used public transport alone and I'm not even sure she is able to cross the main road safely where the bus stop is. During the holidays we will have to do lots of trial runs, even then on the day I will be worried that she has forgotten to get off at the right stop.

So much for her early night routine, sent her up at 8.15and she is still awake now.

Velcro is fine at my kids'' school in year 7

Tips: I was astonished how much time I spent with ds1 in the first couple of weeks; talking about his experiences, the school rules and set-up, helping organise his routine and his equipment, handling his money for lunches and bus tickets, managing the buses, establishing a pattern for homework, etc.

But it paid off; after the first couple of weeks I was pretty much able to step back and let him get on with it.

No Velcro because it's considered babyish. Girls are in slip ons anyhow and boys can tie laces. And for sport, they need to proper support of a laced trainer.

Why are Velcro shoes a no no? Finding shoes that fit dd is hard enough without them having to be no Velcro?

Aargh!

Dd's friends are already discussing which designer bags they are having. Dd said oh ill probably get a backpack I can't see what's wrong with my junior scho backpack actually - good girl.

hi, my dd is going in September too.

Has already gone with her class for a few afternoons to big school. Has an all day visit on July 1st, parents go for an evening thing the same day.

It's walkable from home, she's been practising a bit.

I'll join you even though mine is slightly different as he's going to a SN secondary.

We have already started the transition already with visits from teachers and social stories.
I have no idea how long transport will take, who it will be or what time he will be collected and dropped off.

"Really trivial" is very normal in my experience! Secondary is very different to primary in so many ways, including the nature of the relationship between parent and school.

Shoes - I think velcro is a 'no-no' at this age.

Coats and jumpers - I've never seen this to be an issue. However, some schools have strict uniform rules about whether coats can be worn inside or what jumpers are allowed. By year 9 lots of teenagers seem to have become allergic to warm or rainproof clothing of any description.

Phones - rules vary between schools.

School bag and uniform? I always recommend having a look at what the students are currently wearing now. What you see and hear at open days/evenings might be what the school aspires to rather than the actual norm.

There are 10 going from our school, plus will be at least another 10 going from the surrounding areas. So quite a herd.
Some parents will probably drive their kids as it's 20 min in a car but around 1 hour on public transport.

We can hire lockers for the year for sports kit, life saver. Comes home very smelly about once every 6 months.

N2B is off to a new high school, I never went thru this with DC1, so am enjoying the initiation.

In my experience:
They will tell you in great detail about bags & uniform
Many will have velcro shoes; I need to confirm Kickers okay for DD, we live on a snowy lane, I refuse to put her in those ballet slipper style shoes!
Forget coats, a lightweight pack-away waterproof is good idea, though
Mine has yet to lose his train pass (amazing)
Most schools allow phones but must stay off all day, confiscated if seen or used

I saw DS2 off to secondary last autumn. The biggest difference is that they will need to sort out just about everything all by themselves.

My take on questions:

When to buy uniform - when you feel like it (unless in the middle of a growth spurt in which case worth waiting until last convenient moment). If you can get to a second hand sale this term, do so - invest in new when they've stopped growing.

How many dry runs of the journey - until DC is confident (possibly eye rollingly so)

What kind of school bag? -look now to see what pupils already at the school are carrying. You can probably manage with a primary school backpack for first couple of weeks if you need more time you get your eye in.

Are velcro shoes a no-no? - yes
Do they ever wear coats? - no
Or jumpers? - maybe
Does sports kit stay at school or go in when needed? - ours stays for the week. You need to remind DC to ask - they will be told, but also need to listen and remember.

How often will he lose his Oyster card? - goodness only knows!

Are they allowed to carry their phones around all day (presumably switched off?) - depends on school; they should make it clear. I think the most usual arrangement is they keep phones with them but have them turned off.

We've already been told at our school that if a teacher so much as sees their phones they lose it for a week. Then they have to go to the Head to get it back....