Join in here if your PFB is off to secondary school in September or if you have any advice for thew newbies

My daughter started secondary school last September. She'd been bored at primary school and was more than ready to move on. She admitted to being a little nervous the first morning, but was adamant she was going to enjoy herself. I know alot worry about getting lost and bullying. My daughter did get lost quite a lot in the first 2/3 weeks, but there was always someone in the corridor to help, some of the older ones volunteered to take her to where she should be. There have been no bullying issues at all.

As for school uniform, get anything you want from the school school by mid July. If you wait until August, you'll be lucky to get it if they are like ours. Items that can be bought from places like M&S you can leave if you want. My daughter is fairly small so couldn't get a couple of items of school kit in the school shop. Had a word with the school, who were really relaxed about it and told me what would be okay with them instead.

She is now on her third bag. They have to carry a very heavy bag, so I'd get the strongest one you can afford (her present bag from Animal has lasted the longest) and I'd go for a backpack. My daughter wanted a fasionable bag when she first started, but soon realised a backpack was the best option.

She does wear Velco shoes (as do some of the other girls). Her feet are so small and an unusual shape so she has no option. I asked my daughter is she would wear a coat for school when it was cold, she said yes if it was black and has happily worn a coat I got from the Factory School. At the moment there doesn't seem to be any pressure from others over fashion.

As for PE kit, my daughter isn't very sporty and doesn't perspire that. she has instructions to bring it home if she knows it's dirty and it always comes home at the end of half term anyway.

She can carry her phone around all day (switched off in lessons), but it's recommended to hand in for PE.

She spends a lot of time on homework - about 3 hours a night but that's because she chooses to. Her friend has a friend who spends the same amount of time, but another one who limits it to 30 mins, so up to them how much effort they put in.

The worst being about this year has been friendship issues. All her old friends have had them. She had a few rough weeks when she was falling out with friends. She was one of the first to go through this and I was upset thinking it was her, she'd have no friends, but a lot of them have gone through this.

As Casey said, it's good to allow extra time for them the first couple of weeks, listening to them talk about their day, whats worrying them, helping them getting themselves organized, making sure they have time and materials for homework, as there's so much to think about initially.

I think I was more uptight that my daughter was about her moving on, so try not to let that show. Treat it was something exciting where they can make new friends in time, learn new things, perhaps have the option of doing a club they really enjoy.

This is all very useful. We are moving back to the UK in July and DD1 is starting year 7 in September. Rather out of touch as to what secondary school students like/dislike in the UK, despite being a secondary school teacher! We won't be able to do any dry runs of the route at school as she will be getting the school bus and she will miss the taster day in June when they get to try it out. Oh well, at least I have friends with older DDs, in the same school, who can advise in bags, shoes etc.

Something I'm glad we did in the Summer holidays before my elder dd went, was go for lots of walks / bike rides around the area between school and home. dd walks 1.5miles to school each day, and there are several routes she can use, depending on which friend she is walking with. From the start, she was comfortable knowing that if she turned up road A (because the others were going that way), that was fine, because she could cut through the park and drop down onto the main route afterwards, or, if she set out on road B, following another friend's route, then again, that was fine as she could walk down the path at the end of that cu-de-sac and be back 'on route' easily. I guess this is the equivalent of practising the bus/train route, but helped her a lot, as no-one else seemed to walk directly along what would be the most obvious main road route, but she was comfortable going lots of different ways, so didn't have to walk home on her own at all.

I had eldest of last year and youngest going this year.

Velcro shoes - depends on the school and the shoe - my son wanted velcro ones (he is a lazy boy) and he has been fine in them - but I think it depends on the style - he takes a 7/8 and insists they wouldn't make them in that size if he wasn't meant to wear them. Having said that, his school is not particulary fashion concious and they are fairl strict on uniform.

He has a messenger style bag as it matched his blazer :o but most have back packs - depends on how far and how much they are carrying - if a back pack i'd get one with a wide opening for folders etc.

It's all been pretty painless so far but I do the school run by car as the public transport is limited to 1 bus each way and there would be over a mile walk to the bus-stop. it is actually less hassle for me to take them on the way to work and home.

DD1 is in Y9, not inherently very organised, loses confidence easily, but wants to do well.
For a child like mine, my tips:

• separate pencil case for school / home so the school one stays in the school bag and doesn't get forgotten
• copies of the timetable up at home somewhere where you can see it
• check school bag every day until you are confident it is getting packed correctly
• don't step back too quickly if your DD is like mine. She needed my support to remember things etc and help with homework. I have been able to step back much more this year, but at just 11 she wasn't ready earlier.

Signing in here to keep reading, as although it's our 3rd child not our PFB, we've never had a yr 7 at this school before -- and they do differ a lot!

Definitely invest in a good bag. DD1 went through several during her first half term. She now has a Cambridge satchel and shows absolutely no sign of the strain. Wished we'd got one from the start. Probably spent at least as much on fashion bags she insisted on having. Now she's the envy of her friends (and teachers).

Dd1 is in year 7 and went to a school without any of her old friends.

We decided to wait the first week to buy shoes/pencil cases/bags etc. so she could look around and get something like everyone else. She used her old bags for the first week, which was great. Generally she's not someone who's bothered by what everyone else is doing, but she wanted to fit in, so she was very happy doing that.

Coats: Her school they all wear those hooded jackets with the tie cord by the neck. Almost without exception. So that was something that came up about half term, so these things do sometimes come up later.

For shoes, the girls are divided into lace ups or slip ons. I think velcro is a definite no.

If you can find someone who has a child in year 9-11 they're usually very happy to answer all the questions that the school doesn't really have an opinion on.

I sewed a pocket in the bottom of DD's school-bag (black sports one, in Y7 no one cares they are still finding their feet..)- holds £10 note + change so she can get an emergency taxi, pay her or a friend's bus fare if ticket runs out/gets forgotten etc.

I have found that in Y7 no one much gives a damn about the little stuff - bag/shoes/coat/jumper - or maybe I have a child that could not care less....??

Confidence when travelling is the key issue - makes them so much more independent - we did a lift share with her friend for the first month for the journey TO school and they got the bus home. Now they travel whatever way they want - if a lift is available they ring round their mates and take them too, if not they get the bus... nice.... AND I've finally persuaded mine to actually use her phone to CALL HOME if she is delayed.....

Oh - and if your school has a computer page for parents LOOK at it - EVERY day - they sneak things up on you!!!

My tip is to search their blazer & bag once a week for letters they have forgotten to give you. Also check the school website calendar for events (like parents forum), and if you want to go, pester them to bring you the letter.

I am clueless what parent signing the planner means, has never been explained to me.

DS yr group is fine with backpacks, thankfully; I hear they are considered naff at other schools. Have to check your local culture. Shoulder bags or satchels are terrible for shoulders & backs.

Locklaces are good for kids who can't tie their laces. The real problem with velcro is it's unavailable in size 5+ studs (footie boots), easy enough to find for trainers & black school shoes, at least.

Sports kit usually festers in lockers till you nag...

Yup and don't buy a coat till the beg for one..

Please stop sweating the small stuff!

Shoes velcro? clarks? etc doesn't matter. If the school has a good anti bulling ethos they can and should wear what they like in line with the policy. All mine have had fitted shoes through to 6th form. It is the norm in their school- seeing 16yr olds in mary jane stylee startrite is as common as in a pair of rubbishy ballet flats .

Buy a decent bag that will carry weight. Don't spend ££ on band though to find they have " the wrong one" a basic bag and after a month or so a " fashion bag" on the Xmas list is probably a good way forward.

MOST OF ALL equip them with the skills to travel to and from school- buses/trains etc with LOTS of gradual practice (yes it'll cost a few train fares etc). What if the bus breaks down, what if they get on the wrong train /platform etc etc . If they have a transport hiccup and call you will you absolutely 100% be able to answer and help with advice ?

Ultimately a taxi number in their planner and an emergency £10 in a deep corner of a school bag is a great fall back plan.

Biggest stresses have come from transport early on and, apart from, DD1 getting chucked out of a bus when the police stopped the traffic about 2 weeks in ( and DD1 had no idea where she was, she has no sense of direction at all! ) they were easily sorted - in that instance DD1 had a cool head and planned to wait till the next bus however long it too, but got a lift with another girls dad as she was crying and he came to get her!

I think Casey raised a really important issue about getting in to a routine - a routine for when and where homework is done, a routine for school bag and being ready for the next day... I also think that providing a safe time for talking about problems is a good idea. When you are all getting in at the end of the day and everyone's about, it's easy to say nothing really happened today. But an hour later, just the two of you doing the pots or walking the dog, might be a safe time for them to confide in you when something's bothering them.

Ds starts in sept. He can't wait to get away from kids in his primary class. He's had to put up with so much bullying he's ready for a fresh start. I'm anxious for him but I wouldn't show it.

It's such a large school but luckily the yr 7s are in a building of their own 10 mins walk away from the upper school.

At dcs school no boy would be seen dead wearing the school jumper and no girl would be seen dead without the jumper.
Made the mistake of buying jumper for ds but thankfully dd has taken to wearing it.

I've been known to wear shoes with Velcro, you just have to watch they don't snag your tights.

I do wish shoe manufacturers would make mace up/buckle style ones in smaller sizes.

It's not the school that says no Velcro (they only say 'black, no trainers'). It's peer pressure, to move away from 'kids' shoes.

coats are definitely a no around here. Some carry umbrellas. Scarves and gloves are acceptable in bad weather. Bags vary a lot.

Uniform, especially sports kit, will be "lost" and will disappear for entire terms (if it ever returns). Make sure you have spare items, second-hand sales are ideal. Do charge them for items that are lost as it does reduce the frequency.

Think about their internet use. They will need it for homework but if they use Facebook monitor it.

Your relationship with the school and with other parents is likely to be very different to primary school. Encourage your child to invite friends around.

How can a school say no Velcro? Kids shoes rarely come without Velcro unless they are unsuitable fashion designer brand ones.

I am more worried about bawling at DS1s leavers service than him starting secondary school

I'm going to look at uniform after half term.

He's going to get a phone for a birthday present. What should he have? I'm guessing its quite important to them?

Oh! Shows they are all different then , but don't worry, those that don't hear anything for a while.

We received LOTS of paperwork last week.

Now I know that the only type of winter coat they accept is navy or black duffel coat styles....

You don't tend to hear anything from the schools yet. At the moment they are doing all they can for the pupils in exam years. It does tend to be late June or into July before anything gets going for the new intake.

Oh yes.... DS1 starting secondary in September. I need to know EVERYTHING!