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Original poster

How do stop younger "PRODIGAL DD" from bullying older average DD.

33 replies

onedaytomany · 05/05/2013 15:50

DD"2 yr 8 prodigal top of her Grammar School,Excelerated learning,Maths and Physics G.C.S.E yr9. Constantly bullies her yr 10 High School sister about her inteligence. Always saying i want to go to Oxbridge, where are you going to go,the situation is not helped by their father "PHYSICS PROFESSOR" who when he has them is always calling DD"2 "A DISGRACE" and praising DD1 Maths and Physics prowess. DD2 works very hard and is on C/B border for maths C/B border for Double Science award. When DD"2 comes back from a weekend with him she is always downcast and upset. DD"1 can be very spiteful to me and is always telling,DD"2 how she is thick.

OP posts:
Original poster
onedaytomany · 05/05/2013 18:35

MTS COSTO CHICHEN FARM . you are right she is a child PRODIGY and not PRODIGAL daughter however, her dad thinks that when he is with her she is the returning PRODIGAL DAUGHTER.

OP posts:
Original poster
onedaytomany · 05/05/2013 18:29

SORRY THE POST WAS MEANT TO SAY HOW DO YOU STOP. He is my Ex and i must say the most boring and big headed person i have ever met. When he takes DD1 and DD2 for a weekend up to Newcastle where he works,he invites all his "ACADEMIC PALS ROUND" to his house and starts asking,DD1 and DD2 Maths and Physics questions and DD1 never gets them right, DD2 always gets the right answers, he then turns on DD1 and tells her to"PULL HER FINGER OUT YOUR SISTER IS 2 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU". "I AM NOT SUPRISED YOU FAILED YOUR 11 PLUS". I did not want DD2 to take the 11+ because i did not think she would pass, DD1 rather stupidly told DD2 that she scored only 324, on the 11+ DD2 holds this over her and said i scored 420 on the kent test. DD2 best subject is English and her favorite Teacher is her English Teacher, she rang me and told me you can always tell when DD2 has been with her father because her confidence,drops and her standard is not her best. She also told me that if she believes in her self she could get an A in english, that is a big thing for this School.DD wants to go to University but knows it will be difficult for her, so i want to send her Private in the Sixth form if possible because i believe, it will give her the best chance and it will shut up "THE PROFESSOR" and DD2.

OP posts:
MTSCostcoChickenFan · 05/05/2013 18:29

No advice to offer but don't you mean 'prodigy'?

greyvix · 05/05/2013 18:01

The girls' father is the bully, and DD2 is just exhibiting learned behaviour. I am shocked at any parent calling a child "a disgrace" because of his/ her academic achievements.
You need to point out to DD2 that it takes all sorts to make a world, and that happiness comes from being secure in yourself, rather than from academic success. In my experience, people who bully others are often insecure themselves; you may find that DD2 has her own worries.

circular · 05/05/2013 17:52

Agree with Kez, your husband is encouraging this behaviour and it needs to stop. Maths & Physics are not everything, and a C/B borderline is above average.
It also sounds like your older daughter is trying so hard in these subjects, it could be at the expense of finding her own niche.

Is there anything your older daughter is interested in that she could do well at to boost her confidence?

Kez100 · 05/05/2013 16:30

it's not a natural thing

Kez100 · 05/05/2013 16:28

...oh, and tell him from me, however hard he worked, he was born with a gift for Physics and Maths and has passed that on to his youngest. It's a natural thing to be that good and it's luck of the way he is made. He, however, failed to pass this same natural ability onto his eldest - it is he, if anyone, who is the disgrace!

Kez100 · 05/05/2013 16:24

To be honest, this probably lies with her father. If he is like it, you cannot expect her to be any different.

He needs to get a grip and realise he may well be a bloody professor but can he cut his own hair? paint his own house? turn his own trousers up? teach art or music? dress an injury? care for and old infirm person with dignity? undertake post production on video or photographs? act? sing? counsel? childmind?

There are a million things your eldest can do but she will need self-esteem to enjoy life and, currently, he is undermining that and doubly so by effectively encouraging your younger daughter.

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