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Original poster

Parents eve, year 7. DD very bright but arsing about.

32 replies

sandyballs · 25/04/2013 21:49

Feel depressed but this wasn't unexpected. I've been told this evening by 6 teachers that DD is very bright and capable of great grades at gcse but her behaviour lets her down. She is easily distracted and has got in with a crowd she wants to impress by doing the bare minimum and mucking about in class.

The only good feedback was from maths and science which are the only subjects they are streamed in so she is with a completely different set of kids. She's doing very well in these two subjects.

I feel we've let her down slightly by not even considering the local grammars when looking at secondary schools. I feel she would have been amongst kids who perhaps would buckle down more and it would have suited her needs better. IF she had got in, who knows.

Got to add that I realise its down to her as well, not blaming the other kids. We've talked to her endlessly about this, and I'm hoping the facts he sat and heard all these teachers say how disappointed they were will sink in.

Would love to hear how others dealt with this

OP posts:
ShipwreckedAndComatose · 26/04/2013 21:01

It's difficult, isn't it. because, in the end she will need to learn how to disregard those in her peer group who are making bad choices. We all do.

However, she needs to learn this without completely harming her chances of success.

My gut feeling is that KS 3 is an acceptable time to do this as long as she does pull it together by year 9. However, without a crystal ball, it's tricky to predict.
But if you remove her, then are you delaying the point when she will learn this until a more important period of her life?

Not much help, really!

ryanboy · 26/04/2013 14:55

some kids can arse about and still get good grades , most (not all but the majority) are like your DD and are capable of getting good grades with hard work.It is a tricky situation because she has to do it for herself really, you cannot force her to pay attention and try harder, in fact all you will succeeed in doing is turning her off it even more

Original poster
sandyballs · 26/04/2013 06:28

We don't reward for good grades because she isn't getting them, she's under achieving in everything except maths and science where she is in top set. Nothing else is streamed and won't be.

I like the idea of sitting in alphabetical order, might suggest that. It's low level disruption from a group of kids that DD seems to think are pretty cool unfortunately. Teachers deal with it with detentions from what I can see.

OP posts:
MTSgroupie · 25/04/2013 23:40

Parents in other (old) threads have said that their kids settled down in year 8/9. However, others have described DCs who went into their GCSEs with the same coasting attitudes. Impossible to say which category your DC will fall into.

tiggytape · 25/04/2013 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sandyballs · 25/04/2013 22:15

We are wondering if we should do the same. We've discussed it before but went with the "if kids are bright they'll do well anywhere" attitude but obviously not.

OP posts:
MTSgroupie · 25/04/2013 22:04

We dealt with it by putting DS into a selective school. Sorry, I know that wasn't of much help.

We recognized early on that DS, although quite bright, preferred the company of the boisterous kids. They weren't yobs or anything serious but they were often in trouble for chucking scrunched up paper at each other during lesson for example.

At his selective he finds the kids a bit too serious but he is studying hard. He still sees his old friends during half terms but at least during term time he is in a studious frame of mind.

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