DD Distraught at having to go to,a Upper School (BUCKS)

Thanks, Booksand, she doesn't always get it right, but she has her heart in the right place. I think/hope she will be going to a good and caring school that looks to do well for all its pupils.

Wow, Takver's dd shows a great level of empathy and maturity. That's the kind of thing that will stand you in excellent stead in your life, much more so than where you went to school!

I was very proud of dd btw when she told me about the 'only disabled people' comments - she said 'I said to them, mum, that if people who need extra help are choosing to go to that school then it shows it is a good school, doesn't it because who knows if I might need extra help sometimes too'

(Much better than me, who would have probably told them to fuck off & not be so prejudiced )

Edna, I would tactfully ask your dd where / why she is feeling like this and find out if she's getting it from her classmates at school.

Where we live there is a 'good' school, with better results / low nos on Free school meals, low nos with SEN etc, and an 'average' school which unsurprisingly has much worse results (and higher FSM / SEN etc).

The children going to the 'good' school are very aware of this fact, and I know from dd (plus parents of other children) that comments like 'only disabled people go to school X', 'school X is really rough', 'people at school X get rubbish results' are pretty common.

We're in the fortunate position that we actively chose school X (as did said other parents, for various reasons you can be sure of getting a place at either), which made it easier for dd to deal with.

But if you had wanted school Y, and ended up at school X by default, I think it would make you feel pretty shit, TBH.

If it helps, my dd's school was in special measures the year she sat her Gcses, she got 'A's and 'A*'s 3 'A's at A level and a first at a good university. Grammar and private education are not always the be all and end all of education.

I went to this school, with much the same attitude as your daughter to be honest. I was absolutely devastated. I finished my GCSEs in 2006. I got 9 GCSES in A-C and did better than the girl from my primary school who went to a grammar school.

Most of the people I went to school with went on to some kind of college. It was a wide range from Academic A Levels to people doing apprenticeships. And they didn't all go to the local colleges to do their A Levels, quite a number got into the Grammar School's Sixth Form. A lot of the people who did A Levels went to universities. Some of those people went to some of the top universities in the country.

It isn't the end of everything. If she applies herself, she can do well.

Those statistics are what our catchment secondary schools in a non Grammar area get it is pretty poor. I myself went to a school like that and got good enough results to get to uni but nowhere near what I was capable of. I got through science on the basis of self study.

As others have said are there any schools I. Adjoining areas with places. Also do check out the possibility her grammar headed primary friends are not bullying her.

The school has the following strengths
 Attainment has risen since the last inspection and is now close to the national average; consequently, achievement in mathematics has remained outstanding.
 Students from a wide range of backgrounds get on well together and have positive attitudes to learning within an inclusive and caring school community.
 The behaviour and safety of students are good. Behaviour in lessons and around the school has improved significantly. Students feel safe and show good respect for each other, school staff and their excellent school accommodation and facilities.
 There are inconsistencies in the quality of feedback to students and in the way teachers follow up on the advice they have given.
Although students? literacy skills have improved, teachers have yet to ensure they are consistently pro-active in promoting students? skills in reading, writing and communication across the curriculum. This is required to ensure that learning is fully supported in all subjects so that progress for all students, including those learning to speak English, is accelerated.
 Attendance has improved significantly and is currently above the national average.
 Leaders and managers at all levels closely monitor teaching and each student?s progress towards their targets. Nevertheless, they do not always systematically assess the impact of planned actions. The quality of teaching and progress being made by students, particularly at Key Stage 3, has improved.
 The sixth form is good. The very few students on roll make good progress and almost all continue with their education because the programme of study which they all follow has been tailored well to meet their needs.

www.ofsted.gov.uk/filedownloading/?id=2067983&type=1&refer=0

I was going to ask if this was a preference - there are others around I believe which may be worth a look and waiting list if they might suit better.

If your dd is bright and hard-working, she can be in that top 27% who get good GCSES

That's how I looked at it when my ds when to a comprehensive. What percentage get good marks and would my ds be in that percentage

If you look at the Ofsted it says behaviour is good, so the children will have the chance to learn

Is it your catchment school and did you list it as a preference?
Otherwise think about getting her through Yr7 with a view to sitting late entry tests and get her name on the waiting lists for other schools.
Wycombe is difficult :(

It's not a good school, but there will still be a top stream and with support your daughter could succeed I'm sure. Have you considered the 12+? You can always move her to a grammar school or college for 6th form.

A schoo which is describedd as having "attainment close to the national average" - which for a school which has had its top 25% or so of the ability range removed is no mean feat....

Edna, does it have a 6th form? If not, which 6th form does it generally feed into, and what are the leaving destinations for that school? As school leaving age rises, your DD will almost certainly still be in education at 18, so you need to help her to see that the qualifications that will matter most are likely to be the ones at the end of 6th form .....

BTW - Our youngest DC, who is the same age as OP's doesn't know the meaning of the phrase "the dole" even tho' both DP's are sadly out of work due to redundancy. We've worked hard to ensure that she knows that being out of work due to redundancy, is a reality of today's economy and doesn't put us in the "grot box" category unless we choose to make it that way.

Chin-up, both of you - everything happens for a reason and she will succeed with support.

Edna, sounds like you yourself have quite a negative perception of Upper Schools - and it is your attitude that may really make the difference to hers. You need to be positive and 'can do', and convey that to your DD.

FWIW, a school that I know of that was until recently the very worst school in its county (by GCSE league tables), and in a very deprived community, had several children get 10A /A*s last year. Statistically, there will be fewer children getting excellent grades from an Upper school than from a grammar, but that doesn't mean that your daughter can't be one of those children who do - with the right attitude and the right support from home.

Could you ask the school to put your DD or you in touch with some of their most successful recent pupils, e.g. those who have gone on to A-levels and have got places in good universities?

My cousin's DD failed her 11+. She is now studying medicine at one of the London universities.

Where in Bucks are you? Could you get her into one of the MK comprehensives instead? (I am thinking you might be in Buckingham?)

This is why I am so totally totally against grammar schools. But on the other hand people can go to sixth form college or whatever the equivalent is in your area. It isn't the end of the world by any means. Are there no comprehensives with sixth forms in your area.

you think back to 25 years ago when i went to School and you were just failures,if you were at the Upper School.

Are you sure you aren't projecting on to her ? dn got similar 11+ scores , didn't make Grammar but is towards the top of the school she is at , doing well (classified as G and T there in some subjects but wouldn't necessarily have been elsewhere). Could work out better for her self confidence.

I went to a GS and then to an RG university - I have the misfortune of being on "the dole" after having been made redundant...again. Tell your DD it isn't a safety net. What is a safety net, is a positive "can-do" attitude coupled with hard-work, planning and determination. Parental guidance counts for a lot, too. TBH, it does seem a little unusual that one so young should feel that way and use the term "dole"....

tell her not to go to school and then what are her chances of going uni!!

Just to set the record straight. Bucks doesn't have lower, middle and upper schools any more. Upper schools are used to be what were called secondary moderns (as already mentioned), 30-35% go to grammar school, so quite a high percentage. Some of the USs are rubbish, some are good, particularly as the "top" (hmmm) 30% have been removed. Can you say which school it is OP? People might be able to reassure you.