The Trinity-Whitgift thread of 2013 continued

My ds is a 10+ T (FB) and we only applied there!! Hadn't heard about Whitgift til we looked up bursary info and it popped up.
Got my ds to post acceptance yesterday and told him its the last chance to change his mind. He ran at the postbox and almost disappeared with it he was so keen to put the letter through! Only had one child give him a negative response but it seems like a bit of the green eyed monster and sadness at losing his friend. We'll sort it out and ds is taking it all in his stride. Discovered Trinity news last night on YouTube - going to show ds so he can get even more (if that's possible) excited about going. Do most people on here have children at state schools?

Great Hott - that makes it 5 for 10+ at W!
Think we might be biggest group now.
still want to 'bring it on' Kylep.....

The purple capes and peacocks bowled me over too! Yes, call me shallow... DS did not apply to T as distance and travel would be harder, although I have only ever heard glowing reports about it. We accepted the W offer as soon as that letter came through the door - and before they could realise their mistake. The fees will be a huge stretch, but I'm convinced it's the right decision. DS is not sporty and I'm getting quite a few surprised comments on our choice. He loves to take part, though, and I'm sure he'll find his spot in the badminton Z team.. at least he will have options, whereas in some other schools he'd probably just sit out. Not being one of the brightest in his class will be the best thing that could happen to DS - although he could well be at the bottom of they year group if his current lack of enthusiasm for SATS is anything to go by..

I loved W with all my heart (Purple capes! Peacocks!) but my head knew T was the right school for DSs (particularly DS2 and I wanted both in the same place).

I am not disappointed, just as I am certain I would not have been disappointed had I chosen W instead.

Missmarple - no not a PR agent. I just dont know about T at all and really just expressing my own personal feelings toward W. If i was, im not doing a very good job as most seem to have opted for T. Obviously some prefer T but W 'had me at hello!'
Croydonmum - yes 10+ so only 4 boys here so far.

Have to admit I'm only pro W because that's where ds really wants to go and I'm desperately trying to convince myself that the massive fees will be worth it in the end! I really liked T and would be very happy to send ds there but he does not want to go. Very grateful to burntoutdad for his support of W (even if he is a secret agent) as he has helped keep me focused on W when I waiver. Despite positive comments re W interesting that most people are choosing T. So looks like me burntoutdad and rugrat with dtwins (very easy to figure that one out when we meet) will be holding the W flag. Are we all 10+?

Neither of my DSs seem to have struggled with going from being the brightest in the school to, in DS1's case, just above average.

With a cohort of capable boys as there is less of a gap between top and bottom so maybe any differences are less obvious. It's still a bit of a shock if they've not had anyone near their ability before though. I think they enjoy being with a group of friends who are at a similar level to them TBH.

suz - you are probably right that your DS may find hte change at T a bit of a shock. My Ds certainly has. He was at the top of his primary class, coasting along, not really having to work at all in what was a fairly relaxed set up. we had lots of chats with im to prepare him for the fact the he may not be classed as one of the 'clever' ones at T, and the as long as he did his best we would be happy. So far he seems to be better than some in some subjects but not as good in others, but seems to be coping. T are very good at supporting, encouraging and helping hte boys set realistic targets each term. The real shock has been homework, which we had very little of at primary. A couple of subjects each night, which can take a while (supposed to be about 30 mins each, but you know boys... ) Sometimes after school activities can go until 5.30, so by the time he's home and eaten it can be quite late. I am sure your DS will love it. I know what you mean about not wishing to offend friends etc. I still see all DSs old class mates as DD is still at the primary and I do feel awkward about it sometimes - it's not the usual course of education at our school.

Zato
Love the idea of a meet up before September!

Suz742,
I am really excited at the prospect that our DSs will be in the same cohort at T. Who knows, could be like ColdPlay meeting at UCL (I studied there but didn't hang out with them sadly). Are there any more rock & roll types starting at T 10+?!

May I say, this thread has been very W friendly, I wondered if Burnoutdad was perhaps a secret PR agent?! My DS made up his mind and is thrilled, I started doubting mainly due to my on/off addiction to this thread and also Mr Beck is a really nice guy.

Knowing that the admission teams have been reading this thread put me off contributing. We were impressed by both schools. I don't really want them to guess who we are!

Hi all,

D day is nearly upon us and we have switched views again. Spent a few hours at whitgift and trinity yesterday and we have now decided on Trinity. My old school :) won't go into detail of yesterday but I believe Trinity will suit DS more than W. once we have all decided we should have a mass meet up as its always nice to know a few parents before school starts. Our DS is only boy in school going to T.

Asterisk - interesting thoughts on Med students suddenly not being top dog anymore. I wonder whether my DS will feel the same at T. He sits comfortably on top table in his class and moans that the work is just too easy. I think he might have a shock coming with much harder work and his peers being of a similar level or much brighter than him. Will be interesting to see what happens.

Croydonmumtods- that priest story made me smile. At my High School we had a jolly priest who used to run after the boys in our yr 7 class and rub faces with them. We all thought it so funny at the time as he clambered over desks, looking back it just fills me with horror now!

Hi All, may I ask if anyone here is considering / applying, or has accepted, a Boarding offer from W ?

Would like to understand more about whether Boarding at W is an appealing / pursued option.

Thank you.

suz very familiar with the old catholic guilt thing! You are doing what you think is right for your ds just as you did what you thought was right for your other dc. Clearly it has been very successful so trust your own instinct and try and forget what everyone else thinks or says. I remember being lectured by local priest when horror of horrors we decided to go to a Protestant school but here I am many years later none the worse for the experience. The priest on the other hand ran off with one of the choir!

asterisk interesting point. My nephew is in second year med (not in uk) and is horrified at the number of students who struggle to cope with the basics. These are mainly kids who have had tutors to pass all their exams and cant cope on their own. My nephew went to independent school but never had a tutor. I'm delighted ds will be going to a good school that will maximise his chances of being able to achieve what he wants to achieve but I would never want to push him above and beyond his capabilities.y

Yes, we'll probably all be on that 'getting into Uni' board together in a few year's time! As someone who teaches at a university, I have to tell y'all that these fab schools that we're sending our kids to, don't do the best job in preparing children to cope with higher education. They do a fantastic job of preparing them to get into university, but I see a lot of first-years struggle. Mainly, they don't know where to start when they are given a topic without a comprehensive brief and mark scheme. Also, the sciency ones that drop humanities after GCSE seem to forget how to write an essay. The medical students, used to being top dog at their schools, find it very difficult to cope with being surrounded by so many other wannabe top dogs. Just saying...

I think I am quite conscious that my older DS went to the Catholic state school my younger DS would have gone to, my nephews are there and half my DS's current class will go there. I don't want to give the impression that it isn't good enough for him. Maybe I'm over sensitive as everyone has been lovely about it. It's the Catholic guilt I'm sure.
Yes, Medicine is more totally unknown territory and daunting for me let alone her. Education is endless and hugely expensive all round, Uni debts will be ridiculous in years to come. No one will ever afford to retire at this rate!

suz742 - I don't think ive heard from anyone who chose one of these schools say that 'they made a wrong decision' so I wouldn't worry too much about that. Besides it would you seem that you have a very good track record of making the right decisions anyway. We have a babysitter (baby?!?) who is studying medicine, I could not believe the costs she told me for going through uni these days it is absolutely astounding.
We haven't yet had a bad response to our decision for DS everyone has been supportive but im sure there will be some snide comments coming our way. I don't understand that mentality but to each their own.

Bod- I understand where you are coming from. My 3 older children went to state schools, 1 post grad, 1 under grad and another applying for medicine. I chose good Catholic schools and they thrived. However, my 4th child is very different and I've known for ages he needed something different, which hopefully T will provide. Private school does not sit easy with my social conscience and is unknown territory for me. I am especially careful at the moment not to offend family or friends with my choice, even his siblings. I hope I have made the right decision with no.4, only time will tell

Our local state isn't a bad school, in fact most parents ive spoken to are very happy with it. The top set seem to do very well and mid/lower sets are pushed along to improve overall. Our concern looking at results is if approx. 60% are achieving good grades what are the other 40% doing? are the classes disrupted? Is there an increased chance of bullying/fighting etc? Clichéd state problems I know but our DS is very quiet and these are issues that we feel would affect him. His current school is very highly regarded but we can see these issues already, can only think they would be intensified as children go to secondary. Does this mean also applying these figures that 40% of the class of 32 is messing about? Again we feel the larger classes would not suit him, we think he would be happy to remain quiet in the background.
The form tutor set up (someone he can get to know and trust) and smaller class sizes at W coupled with the sport opportunities, we think would benefit him immensely.
Don't get me wrong as I think DS2 would not have the same issues and would be fine if he went there (although he's already said 'nothing less than W!') but did have worries with DS1.
And before anyone asks - I went to a very rough state school so not being 'snobbish' in any way!

Goodluck Goldfish. It must be great to have such a good State school on your doorstep. Unfortunately not the case for me.

Everyone else who are still waiting for Grammar on Friday - Good Luck to you all, fingers crossed!

Goldfish678mum - Good luck to you and your DS. it sounds as though you have made a very sensible and well thought out decision. If you are lucky enough to have that state facility nearby then it must make the choice that little bit easier on the mind.

goldfish that's a shame but you are soo lucky to have a good state school near you. We are not so fortunate so have no option really. Best of luck to your ds in his new school - I'm sure he'll do brilliantly.

Hi all
After lengthly discussions we have decided that we will have to decline the offer from T. It really was a hard decision to make , but the problem is we have an excellent state school just around the corner from us which gets just as good results and has fantastic facilities AND most importantly it's FREE!! We are in a similar position to GETASHLEY in that we have a lot of equity in our home so didn't get the bursary that we needed. We also are self employed and feel that in the current economic climate, the fees may stretch us too much in the future. We also don't want to change the way we live and give up holidays etc just to send DS to school. We have a DD to think about too!!! I don't regret going through the process though. We are so very proud of our DS for getting this far and know that he will thrive wherever he goes. Good luck to all of u here. Feel like I know all of you already! I'm off to book my holiday xxx