Worried about Private school

Looked up a few bursaries and scholarships examples from a few schools and they state things such as must maintain excellence in the area, must be cooperative member of the school - OP does the letter read like the 3rd example here? Or is it more direct?

Harrow; A Scholarship is a financial award for excellence. A bursary is a means-tested award for parents who could not otherwise afford the fees, whose sons have been awarded a Scholarship by Harrow. Most Scholarships and bursaries are awarded in the months before a boy enters Harrow. Honorary Scholarships are sometimes given to boys after they have started at Harrow but there is no fee reduction.

Brighton College seeks to reward children of exceptional ability with Scholarships and Exhibitions to the College. All awards are offered as monetary amounts per annum, and will normally remain with the pupil until they leave the College, or as otherwise defined below... However, the overall value of a combined scholarship is limited to a maximum of £8,000 per annum.
Our Scholarship and Bursary programme aims to encourage excellence across our Schools, while making the education we offer as accessible as possible.

Greshams -
Scholarships are offered to talented and dedicated students who show outstanding potential academically or in the fields of Art, Drama, Music or Sport. Scholarships are normally rewarded for the duration of a pupil’s career at the School on the condition that the pupil remains a positive and co-operative member of our community, and continues to contribute to the School's academic or extra-curricular life. Bursary funding is also available, both to scholarship holders and to children who do not win a scholarship but are likely to benefit substantially from a Gresham's education. Bursaries are offered in situations of individual need, and are considered on a case-by-case basis.

Whilst I'm not entirely sure of the OP's version of events please don't think that Headteachers don't ever put stupid things in writing.

My mother has the letter from my brother's special school headteacher stating that it was 'unheard of' for any child to get extra time or a laptop in public exams.

Tribunal had a riot with that one.

No honestly that wasn't a sarky 'I stand corrected' it was a genuine comment.

it gets better and better. I mean you actually lectured the school on its inclusion policy?

The mystery deepens as to why the HM thinks you and your DC may not fit in.

Hels bels -sorry if my post was bossy I did nt mean to correct you and in this case it may be different to what is normal...

Lots of schools still offer scholarships that are substantial but bursaries are more about means tested help with fees once the pupils is in the school - a scholarship is (in my experience) based on a strong academic candidate and still can be 75% of fees but as the OP mentioned fees I presume it is less -

Anyway I am not sure if the OP is concerned about fees or fitting in or something else??

I could be wrong about this school as I still can't think of a school that is 100% white in a city? That actively links with primary schools to sit entrance exams to offer places for academic children?

I stand corrected I'd assumed scholarships were 100% fees in all cases.

I still think it comes down to exact wording, you paraphrased the head had said 'you probably won't fit in' then said they'd actually said 'they were concerned you might not fit in', IMO these say slightly different things.

OP i am sure you know but there is a difference between a scholarship place and a bursary - bursaries are means tested and some children can end up on 100% bursary (I know 3 boys on this as very talented at football so independent school pay full fees for them) scholarships are linked to academic so you can have a scholar on a small bursary or a scholar on a large bursary - OP what offer have you been given? Is it till 18? 16?

Maybe re look at the exact wording of the letter as I stated earlier maybe its saying

'here is a good offer, but just cause we are giving you a scholarship for fees there will be lots of hidden extras that you should be aware of that don't fall into the scholarship reduction'

Independent schools are strictly audited so some academic scholarships can not then give money for trips or uniform but you can often apply for bursaries for these-

Is the school charitable trust - if it has governors it usually is charitable, most schools that are charitable will have a good bursary scheme you can apply for if needed?

But I'm not sure if your gripe with the school is about money, your child or your own story?

OP hasn't said the value of the scholarship, if any. Many are now purely titular and full fees remain payable. Most of those which have cash value are in the range 10-20% off fees; there are still some that are a third off, but very rare to be worth more than that.

OP: Where does DC want to go?

How can the head want your money if you're on a scholarship?

As I asked before- what do you want this school to provide that a state won't?

Why do you want to send your child to a school at odds with your own world view? i.e. you think they want him to be a unquestioning robot, you want him to continue to challenge and enquire?

No, somethings not right here, the HT of this very exclusive wealthy area in a big city feels that even though your ds has been offered a scholarship in an all white private school he wont fit in, and now you think they just want your money?

Which city would this be? London?

So were these "comments" from the Head or actual written text in which he said your ds would not fit in?

If your DS is on a scholarship then they won't be getting your money will they?

This tale is getting odder & odder.

The school doesn't want your money if they are in an exclusive area of a large city with generations of the same family going there so don't kid yourself on that! Particularly as they could fill the space with a full fee-paying child if your child does not go there. It makes no sense for them to offer you a scholarship and then tell you you wouldn't fit in.

Why are you so reluctant to name even the city where this school is?

Sorry for typos in posts (just re read)

• Anyway be great to know the school/city/or a clue cause if your genuine someone may be able to give you a 'real' insight...

what school independent or not is 100 white British mainly made up of 2nd or 3rd generations attending with no SEN?

Fee paying schools are made up of parents who may not have attended private/independent/fee paying schools themselves this is written about regularly in independent schools magazines as schools strive to be more accessible to academic talent over birthright - YES of course some snobbery exists but on reality these are usually the private schools in more rural areas rather than city schools as city schools have the normal demographics of a city and are linked in with primary schools hence the scholarship programme being in place.

Independent schools usually are made up of a range of ethnicity and believe or not parents from different professional backgrounds. If this school is 100% white as you declare and your child is not maybe that's where you are feeling the tension from but I can't for the life of me imagine this stat being true....

In regards to the SEN, special education needs are not linked to economic status and most even traditional public schools have an SEN department as often (massive generalisation here) bright, boys still have problems with how to put their learning in place or may have dyslexia - nothing to do with intelligence or other specific learning disorders -

Anyway good luck but my experience is that public/private/independent/fee paying/state schools all have children in them - have no idea of the school that you talk about that has clones in them?

If the head actually said that then do not touch this school with a bargepole. I must say I am stunned that any head of any type of school would say such a thing though- are you sure you haven't misunderstood? If you are certain this was what was said/meant you should definitely choose the other school. I am doubtful that parental choice of secondary school is a CV issue. Exam results and calibre of university are far more important.

OP - me again.

I've just googled the number of pupils with EAL at the senior day/boarding school my DS is going to in September, and it is just under 20%. It's on the outskirts of a small market town, not even in a city and I think that's quite impressive.

I would be very interested in knowing which independent school in this country only allows white British children to attend? (So I can make sure I never move there)

Are you sure you don't just have some imaginary idea of what private schools are like and are talking about that? ('cos it's about 100 years out of date).

CountingClouds - what on earth is this Head talking about?

I went to private school and my children go to private school and I have never heard anythng like what you describe. It sounds utterly awful and completely against the ethos of private school.

This is NOT what private school is about. I would put DS in for exams elsewhere - he clearly could get scholarships in other places.

A billionaire playboy?!?!? Private schools rarely produce those. Wealth like that is inherited or made by entrepreneurs. Most entrepreneurs don't do well at school as it's too conformist - see Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, etc.

Now isn't that slightly weird too - apparently a DS - at 11 ? - has no strong preference about his next school ?

But if it's genuine I'd go for it as I said in my earlier post and be as eccentric/ unusual as you like !
And they can't make you go on all the expensive extra-curricular trips once you're there !