Fed up with school telling me off - is anyone else?

I once had a teacher write "see me" - addressed to me, not DD - in the home-school diary.

I will agree however that there is something about the tone of school letters that seems designed to reduce parents to the level of five year olds.

I came home the other night and found DH helping one of our DC with their English homework. I was as there was way too much parental input going on. If a child is getting too much assistance it is hard for me, as a teacher, to tell how they are really coping with their work.

If your child is having multiple detentions than either your child is auditioning for the vacancy caused by the death of Attilla the Hun or your school is crap.

That said I do sympathise with the attitude thing. Our secondary has a bloody good line in patronising and annoying. The ultimate was when they sent a letter home saying it's target setting evening but not saying anything about why this was important. Neither of us could really go that night so we left it - only to get a snot-o-gram home saying 'as you missed the VERY IMPORTANT meeting, here is the information you would have got if you had (bothered) to attend the VERY IMPORTANT meeting' Dh got very cross with them about that and this year when dd2 was going through target setting the letter said exactly what the meeting was and why it was important.

I was livid when dd1 was told her skirt was too short about a week from the end of the summer term. It was less than an inch above the knee and she'd had it for 10 months for heavens sake! I was also livid to get an absence letter last week when 3 days of the 5 dd2 has been off this term were caused by an accident which took place AT SCHOOL. And so it goes on. The stricter the school get the more rebellious and stubborn I get..............not my dds - they're very good - it's me that's the problem

I never helped my kids do their secondary homework, well maybe twice in total.
I figured that if they couldnt do it, probably other pupils couldnt do it as well, and the teacher ought to know about it.
I also thought they should be self reliant about it, and either swim or sionk and take the personal consquences.

Also, the kids would have heard from me if they were in medical when they shouldnt have been.

Aere any of your children in Year 7, and there are also new members of staff that are being a bit over zealous?

I can't speak for all schools but it's quite unusual for a child to get multiple, repeated homework detentions. I mean, not at all unknown, but in my form there are maybe 2 or 3 students who get any homework detentions at all, let alone repeated ones.

Your children are possibly picking up on your tendency to ridicule the school and its rules. Just saying.

My dd is yr 9 and I don't hear much of a peep from the school really which is a blessed relief after the junior school who wanted our input every two minutes.

I think what stands out in your post though is some friction with the school over homework. It needs doing if you want to avoid detentions. It might be boring or appear irrelevant - if so go in and discuss with them. But they may have a bigger picture as to why something is being done as homework. In other words you think it's a minor issue, they clearly don't.

If dc are saying they're sick (or are about to be) what else can they do but call you? Maybe speak to dc about what constitutes being ill. Get them to take some resposibility for the outcome. If mine were getting me called in for no reason I'd be onto my dc about it big time.

I do sympathise. But I think that some of the exasperation you are directing at the school might be usefully directed at your DC. You imply that you have multiple DC at this school. Are the issues spread evenly across the DC or is there one in particular who is the focus of a lot of these issues? Because with the sickness thing, I would be bollocking making strenuous enquiries of the child regarding just why they felt the need to visit the medical centre in the first place.
The homework? They are in secondary school. They need to do it themselves. If you are spending hours trying to help them fathom it out you are facilitating them in not taking responsibility. Let them screw up, let them get bollocked, stop protecting them from (and getting irritated by) the consequences of their own failure to ensure they know what they are supposed to be doing.
I know it must be frustrating, but I think it is your children who need to shape up, not the school.

sounds more than a bit annoying.....it is often hard to stay positive about the school
I have just been invited to a meeting at the school with the head of year who looks like cruella de ville (dd's thought not mine) to discuss her low attendance...
actually even if she is 5 mins late they mark absent for that session, and there was rampant bullying on the school bus (which took them weeks to sort out), so I was having to drive her in, get caught in traffic, and be a bit late not absent.
And they know that. last meeting with this vile woman, she sat copying an email from me into her notebook.....

Why are your kids going to the medical room so often??

I sympathise- the food thing spill instructions sounds stupid. However- surely not personally directed at you?

Detentions over minor infractions sounds over the top- is this a weekly issue? Is it in every subject or just one teacher?