Fed up with school telling me off - is anyone else?

The line I take with SEN is usually we place extra support in so that all children can meet the rules , therefore they face the same sanctions.

For example we have a homework club run by the SEN department which students can select to go to or they are sometimes referred to. Each house also has a homework clinic which can be used by students, again either voluntarily or by referral from staff.

I also have TAs in some of my tutor groups who work with some students during morning and afternoon tutor time, checking that they have what they need for the day. I also have some of my older students who act as mentors to younger students, checking their homework diaries with them, making sure all work has a deadline recorded and that their diary entries are legible.

I agree that more support is probably needed. Does the school have a published homework timetable so that you know what homework they should be doing on each night. I have my children's homework timetables on the fridge and we follow it religiously as one of my children in particular has had homework issues . If I know that on a Wednesday night geography homework is supposed to be set and the expectation is that they spend 40 minutes on a task they have to do 40 mins of Geography. So they either do the homework that is set, which is usually on the VLE anyway or they have to do something Geography related for that time. This stopped one of my children from rushing their work or claiming there was none.

I sometimes say to parents when their child is struggling with homework allow them to spend the suggested time and then draw it to a close. You may want to put a little note under saying " my child has spent 30 mins on this." Of course check that this would be OK

I also suggest making checklists to use as students pack their bag, you may need a different list for those days when they have PE or a lesson needing equipment. Bags should also be packed the night before, as a middle aged woman I still forget things if I do not do that.

yes my daughter has SEN and is in a suitable small group so when they tried to give her an after school detention for not doing homework I insisted they give her a lunchtime detention instead - (similar long journey).
The tone of the detention letter as well! 'goretta has failed to do her homework and failed to turn up and failed yet again...'etc etc....
I was furious! The word 'fail' three times!

Schools set homework to kids. It is the kids repsonsiblity to do it and the shcools to deal with this. Why are parents held responsible for homework.....

I would be more concerned that my child was supposed to be studying for A Levels yet was turning up to class with no means of writing than I would be about a note home .

Speaking from my persepctive as a teacher in a school that some children travel quite a distance to attend and as someone on the frontline when it comes to discipline I do not think the detentions are unreasonable.

Most schools have a two week rolling timetable and students cope. If a student fails to hand in my homework they get a lunchtime detention, usually the next day. If they bring that completed homework to that detention I tend to let them go quite quickly , we actually do not like being in detention . If the child misses a second deadline within a half term they get a lunchtime detention and it would be referred to their house team.. This may prompt a phone call home if there is homework missing from a number of subjects. If a child misses a third homework in a half term I will set an afterschool detention and I expect the child to attend. If I have set a lunchtime detention and the child does not attend, I will set an after school detention.

I say to children who tell me that they can't do after schools that detentions are not a compulsory part of school life and therefore if they are a problem do not earn one. Unless there are extreme circumstances you have agreed to the school discipline policy and if it includes detentions that is how it will be. That does not mean that you cannot lobby for change in the meantime .

Your children have to do their homework, if it is of a poor quality make that known to staff so they can improve it.

I call parents in for meetings, but something has to have gone quite wrong for it to get to that point .

Most days I will be on the phone to parents , it is almost unheard of for me to be on the phone constantly to the same set of parents. Something has gone very wrong here and I think you need to be working with the school not against them. Can you suggest a VLE to the school, they are quite unusual not to have one. All of my home works are also on the VLE with instructions and spare sheets .

I am also the person who authorises children to go home if they are ill, on some ways teachers cannot win. I am something of a dragon and rarely send children home, I suspect you would love me, I know others see me as overly harsh. Can you not discuss with your children why they keep asking to go home? Is there a particular lesson they are trying to miss? They are the ones who are initially causing the problem by claiming to be ill.
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Why did you have to deal with the email straight away though, would it not have waited until this evening? I appreciate that they have your work email in case of emergency, but that doesnt mean you have to deal with this one straight away

If after school detentions cause issues, then contact the school and ask them for these detentions take place at dinner times

I am always more lenient to kids who have an SEN and may struggle with hopmework. I do expect it to be done, but accept that it may be done wrongly or with spelling mistakes. This isn't a problem. I never ever give whole class detentions.

I imagine the text about the pen was sent out as the school were having a push on equipment thatweek. It may seem minor and trivial, but when you have say 4 kids per lesson turn up without a pen, then by the end of the day, thatis 20 pens you have had to find/lend/collect in,then x that by 5 for each day.

Also most schools have a home/school agreement which you have probably signed agreeing to all the thin gs that are driving you mad! And they will hold you to that!

OK so are we saying that some DC simply cannot keep out of trouble, and that there is nothing that the parents can do about it, so they don't want to be told about it? Or is it the way they tell you?

Looking at the original OP, I can see what the school could do about numbers 1 and 4 - not care that the bag needs cleaning, and not send the DC home unless they are obviously really ill.

But what do they do about incorrectly completed homework etc?

boffinmum I've truly never heard anything like it. You have hinted about there being something er unusual about the school? I'm guessing religious?
That has to be it because in 7 years of dealing with my kids secondary (small bog standard comp) I have never been contacted about homework or any of the issues you mention.
They are totally unreasonable and whole class detentions are the worst kind of punishment.

refreshing maryz after certain smug parents.
boffinmom is this just a normal state school if you don't mind me asking?

To be fair to you Boffinmum there does seem to be an unusual degree of micromanagement on the part of the school.

1. Give bag wiping instructions to your DC and let them do it.

1. Tell your DC to make sure they know what is required of them regarding each homework given - they usually have several days before it's due in, so could clarify any confusing elements with their teacher before the deadline.

1. Tell your DC to stick to the rules so that they don't get detentions.

1. Tell your DC not to tell the school nurse that they are ill if they are not.

I'm really surprised that you are directing your ire at the school tbh.

BoffinMum I have some sympathy with you for the general rude communication from secondary school staff. Yes they do treat us with barely concealed contempt at times.

However -- 60 mile round trip? Was there no schools closer?

Never experienced this with our Dcs school at all.

real You'll have to make sure your kids know that then and don't do anything they know will get them an after school detention.
If there are a lot of rural kids then the school should have a policy of ensuring that after school detentions are only for more serious transgressions. I know my last school had 85% of pupils arriving on school buses and their policy was that lunchtime was the time for detentions, after school was only allowed after a variety of other punishments/consequences had been given, and only in consultation with the Head of Year who knows the family. There was even one teacher who would then drive the kids home if they had no other way of getting home.

Just to hijack.
None of my DC have had after school detentions yet, but if/when they do they will not be able to get home! We live in a rural area 8.5 miles from school (travel by LEA chartered coach)and no public transport.I am a SAHM and DH isn't home with the car til 6.00.there is no way I would fork out £20+ for a taxi.They would just have to keep them there til DH could collect them.

The secondary school is great, any communications always very respectful.

Re the primary school -The only thing that bugs me are the nit/thtreadworms letters. A parent has very sensibly informed school that there has been a case of ....'
The 'very sensibly' sounds like something you would say to an 8 year old.

Their misuse of practice/practise bugs me too, as does their inability to spell our very common surname ,but that's another thread

OOOhhh I could just go on and on and on....to general parents....

Detentions aren't supposed to be convenient. That's the point isn't it? Where a friend teaches, the kids get detentions for failing their class assessments and for not handing in homework. It has the best results around as when the kids 'do their time', there's a lot of teacher input to help the kids iron out any problems. Parents are not always supportiive of this as it's 'disruptive', inconvenient and their children moan and moan about it, but at the end of the day it's for the educational benefit of the kids. They have a zero tolerance policy on lateness and uniform as well. The reason they are soo passionate about the lateness thing is that when you are all grown up you can't keep being 5 mins late for work. You need to learn these habits when you are young. Same with uniform. If there's a dress code at work, you need to know how to stick to it. Same with general rules. If there are health and safety rules at work you need to know how to comply with them. Let's face it - rules can be really annoying. Understanding how to and why we follow them is a skill.

The same can be said of dc1s school. dc1 has gotton into trouble for doing daft things like bucking uniform norms and has had negative events for forgetting stuff and not doing things in time. dc1 is now (several years on) much better organised.

Having said all that OP the quality of TA would drive me insane and may/could be at the bottom of a lot of the issues your boys are having? It would appear that the support offered doesn't seem to be enablng them to do things like keep their tie on to the schools standard, or support them understanding their homework etc etc. Do they have a 1 to 1 assigned to them or different TA in each class? If 1 to 1 then their individual needs should be much better (IMO) supported and you should be involved in that??

Teaches do generally GENUINELY care aabout our childrens' progress and achievement. I don't know a single person who is in teaching who isn't passionate about the achievement of the kids in their care and want them to achieve their best (even if the children don't want to!!).

Yes it's very tricky around special needs and discipline isn't it ?
My DD has mild dyslexia and I do feel it affects things like her organisation and presentation as well as her spelling.
Of course we all want to work together to improve these things.
I'm not great on organisation either (and may have some attention deficit traits) and you feel schools could try and make some allowances/ show some understanding towards the different challenges faced by parents and families too. Sometimes I have to say individuals do show this sort of caring attitude and it is always appreciated.
But sometimes you feel a more blanket approach has been taken don't you ?
Comments on work along the lines of "must improve presentation" seem a little annoying !
And you do wonder at secondary school if all teachers are aware of the more nuanced special needs and individual differences of the children.
My DD has been recognised as having mild dyslexia at primary school and for example is taking part in a research project at Cambridge University to understand elements of dyslexia better.