Girls school vs. mixed? Which would you choose?

Single sex though I do have some mixed feelings about it. For dd1 our first & second choice schools were single sex ... in part because of their academic records but both being girls' schools was a big factor too. She didn't get into either & is now in year 7 at a mixed comprehensive.

It's a good enough school but all the issues so far have been boy/girl - the girls are obsessed with who fancies which boy, having a boyfriend, clothes, makeup etc etc. dd hates it & thinks the girls are in most part pretty pathetic.

Which is why I have mixed feelings - she gets on far better with the boys. I think her ideal school would be a boys' grammar tbh

I have to go back to the fact though that, as with almost everything else, it does depend on the individual school.

lljjk - I wonder if the dynamics are different for people from a more sexist - overtly so - culture than the norms in Britain? There's probably a whole other can of worms there.

I went to a girls' school, and wish I hadn't - think I'd have had healthier relationships with boys if educated with them.

That said, that was a long time ago! I do think it depends on the child, and the school...dds are at a mixed primary, and both have great relationships with boys at the moment. I'd be sorry to mess with that, but OTOH I can see that at Secondary level the distractions are different....will need to look at individual schools.

No. Different son Iljkk

Ds1 is totally nt. smart and academic but in first team for rugby and cricket and very handsome and popular. I only say that to negate the idea that those who like boys only environment are likely to be geeky or nerdy or socially awkward - as the suggestion that he might have asd implies in fact.

He liked single sex because the boys at the mixed school seemed to 'perform' in lessons in front of the girls.the posturing and acting up didn't exist at single sex but was rife at his mixed school. Being academic was considered geeky and nerdy. There was a huge focus on clothes and trappings - what bag you had, where your trainers came from.
He also found the whole issue of being expected to have a girlfriend at 9 baffling.

He remains very happy that he went single sex. I discussed it with him when we were choosing for DD.

Pag, am I correct to think your lad has ASD, could that be a factor in why single sex ed suited him?

Another vote for single sex education for girls here. Both DDs have flourished academically yet still have managed to have friendships with boys.

Am interested about whether single sex is good for boys though - as am undecided on that.

Well I posted up thread about DS1 asking to go into single sex.
He loved his schooling and hated the time in mixed.
He was never encouraged to become an extreme Islamist.

lljkk - I guess you'd probably need to ask somewhere other than Mumsnet to get a wide spectrum of opinions on the merits or otherwise of boys' schools from those who've been through them . . .

Does anyone elaborate in favour of single sex education for BOYS? Ed Husein directly attributed single-sex ed as a factor in him becoming a radical Islamist.

I would absolutely have chosen a single sex school for my daughter if it had been an option for us.

Grimma, I would have had the same reaction when I was a teenager. Its only in hindsight that I can see the value of that period in my life.

I went on to a very male dominated degree / profession (at least it was then), so that may have affected my views of the whole thing.

I recently moved my Yr 4 dd to an all girls school. She lacks self confidence and is pretty quiet. She is thriving in the new environment.

I spoke to quite a few people about what the difference in the learning experiences would be. The consensus from teachers in both types of school (which I understand is supported by research) is that boys on average get 2/3 of the attention in a mixed class, because in general they are more demanding of attention and the majority of the quiet, well behaved, undemanding children are girls. I accepted that taking the boys out may just make more space for the confident girls, but that has not so far been my experience.

As I remember my mixed school, I didn't really interact with the boys much until 6th form. For that reason, I think I would consider moving her to a mixed 6th form, but for the moment she wouldn't gain anything from the boys being in the class.

Tak - I think DD would hoot with laughter at the notion of being 'the second sex' - they beat the boys' school at everything except rugby, apparently . Mind you, I'd have probably hooted at it too. Probably if girls are brought up in a largely egalitarian home and never gets negative input there, they're more teflon coated against sexist shit elsewhere.

I guess the advantage for me of a girls' school is that it is one of the few places in life where being a woman is the norm.

In most of our society, like it or not, to be a woman is to be different, to be 'not a man'. In a girls' school, being a girl is what everyone is, there's no issue about 'can girls speak up', 'do boys dominate the classroom', 'do girls' take science' etc etc, because there are only girls, so girls do everything.

I guess whether you think this is a good thing or not depends on whether you think that girls need to learn early to cope with the issues about being one of the second sex - or whether you think that a few years out of that situation is of help. There are good arguments for both cases, so I suppose practically for me it would depend on the schools and the girls concerned.

Judging on what I see at the bus stop, pupils at the nearest state girls school seem to care very much about their appearance. If anything, the girls at the co-eds seem more relaxed.

Single sex for my dds - esp dd2 who is going to be tiny and vv busty and v sweet natured - dodn't need grief of boys for a few years!

i loved single sex and dd1 prefers it too - nice to go through secondary not carig what you look like, spots, periods etc andclasses quieter and no time wasted on flirting etc.

But will send ds to mixed as he needs a calming influence.

DD struck up a lovely friendship with an Upper VI boy, on the bus to school.

Being educated with boys was quite a good inoculation against fancying most of them!

Yes!!!! The boys at school were either sweet or irritating. We certainly didn't fancy any of them.

The difference between individuals are far greater than they are between the sexes. You're right of course Jennai, but it's not just about individuals, but entrenched attitudes, Girls' voices v Boys', teachers' expectations, peer pressure etc.

I'm not strongly pro singles sex, at all- it was the best option for my DDs at that age; interestingly what you mentioned about individuals reminded me that age 11 and tiny, DD struck up a lovely friendship with an Upper VI boy.

lottie lots to think about, thank you.

Btw, my own experience of 'boys as attention hoggers or a distraction' was that third year (13-14) was a bit blighted by a few poorly behaved pubescent boys taking up a lot of teachers' attention. That was partly because as the last pre-GCSE year we were given weaker teachers, also we only had upper and lower streams at that point, so classes were quite mixed ability. So it's about the school's management. In the GCSE years we were properly streamed for English and maths, with other subjects optional, so teaching, behaviour and attentiveness was suddenly very good. I suppose it's significant that I was in the top stream and the brighter boys and girls were well behaved but also everyone was a bit more mature.

Being educated with boys was quite a good inoculation against fancying most of them! There were plenty of bright, motivated girls and we weren't going to be distracted easily anyway. That's not to say we didn't have social lives but, amongst the more academic set, there wasn't peer pressure to go too far too soon emotionally, at all.

I've been quite taken aback by the number of girls in ds's year who have gone on to girls schools; their parents don't seem particularly thrilled that they chose single sex, but the school did an excellent sales job on them. When I was their age I greeted the prospect of going to an all girls school with horror, and chose the only co-ed available to me.

To be fair it is a good school, I just find seperating girls and boys a bit weird. The difference between individuals are far greater than they are between the sexes.

I also think DOIDare is probably right when she says, "Anyone who is not straight vanilla fits in more harmoniously" in a mixed environment(I much prefer larger schools to smaller ones for the same reason). I can see how that might not always apply; it would very much depend on the school.

I prefer mixed schools in theory.

Pag, your experience seems very much in line with mine.

I do have happy memories of dressing up boyfriends in our uniform & smuggling them into classes with our less observant teachers to see if they got noticed