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Original poster

Is this normal for a headteacher/first day of school?

34 replies

Spalva · 03/10/2012 09:24

I'm likely to spend lots of time here these days. I'm very thankful to have a place to come and ask questions.

My eldest daughter had her first day yesterday at the local secondary school. She is in Year 8; we just moved to the UK from abroad. Dd has lived in five countries in ten years. This school was our last choice (it is our catchment school). That is the background info.

We had an appointment to meet the headteacher (an apparently famous guy) first thing in the morning. He came into the reception hall, saw us, and said, "Oh! You must be the people I'm supposed to meet this morning. The told me I'm to meet "some people" at 8:30, but they didn't give me any details. I tried to get them tell me details. So, I'm sorry, but I didn't know who you were." Then for ten minutes he kept mentioning that he wasn't told who we were and that now he knows who we are. He took a few details, tried to reassure us about some points, and let us go.

So I handed my dd over to the head of her house, who couldn't tell us if she would need her PE kit because he couldn't figure out if it was week A or week B. So he asked the admissions officer, who had to flip through her agenda to figure it out.

Not one of dd's teachers ever took her aside and spoke to her. In physical education her buddy for the day had to try to figure which "set" she would be in and ended by assuming that she would be in set 2. I kept asking what the teacher said about it but she just shrugged. My child doesn't even know what a set is -- and I only know because I've been reading here!

My dd carried her heavy PE kit (she brought the whole lot since she didn't know what she would need) around all day long. No one mentioned getting a locker. No one asked about taking her fingerprints so she can get set up to eat. There was nowhere to sit to eat, anyway. She barely had time to swallow three crackers at 10 am (she gets low blood sugar).

I realize British schools are not set up to cater to kids who have never been in the British system. I do. But what about new kids? Do they really just throw them in there and make them swim? Dd was in a tiny school, had nine children in her whole year! She is completely overwhelmed. When I tried to explain to her that she should meet a pastoral manager she was panicky and said, Whaaatt? in a very uncharacteristic, teary way. She has been crying since she got home yesterday and she never, never cries. She was a top student and I'm worried. Can you tell?

I'm not sure there is much advice for anyone to give me here. But I just moved here and have absolutely nobody to talk to. And, I must say, I'm quite teary myself. I'd just like to understand better how this should work, in an ideal British secondary school, let's say.

OP posts:
TantrumsAndBalloons · 03/10/2012 10:15

Ok, that was an example of how it should not be done.
My dd moved school in year 8.
On the first day we met with the head of year. We also went to see her form tutor. We had a tour of the school, got her timetable, sorted out her locker, organized her thumbprint and met the head of pastoral care.
We were there for 2 hours. She also met the 3 people who were going to look after her.
Then we all went home.

So the next day was her first day technically. Her buddies met her in the hall before registration and looked after her the whole day.

She had a meeting with the head at lunchtime to make sure she wasn't concerned about anything. The head called me at 5pm to see how I thought her first day went and did I have any questions?

I would go in and see her head of year if possible and explain this is incredibly overwhelming and you do not think she was adequately prepared to start school and see what they can suggest to help.

I would also be appealing for your first choice school ASAP if that's possible.

mummytime · 03/10/2012 10:07

I would appeal. I would also phone the school and ask to speak to the head of year, and explain to them how confusing your daughter found the school.

Are you on the waiting list for all the schools you preferred? I would also phone the LA today and ask about this school, if they have found a place for your daughter, and explain about the total lack of preparedness for your daughter.
It certainly sounds as if their pastoral care isn't very good.

Original poster
Spalva · 03/10/2012 09:55

Sorry, I didn't mention it because I felt my post was already too long. We had a tour of the school last week with the admissions officer. I must say it was a bit like having a real estate agent show us a property. I know schools in this area are competing for students, but it was a bit soulless. We were both completely lost in the conversations about exams. The whole meeting was basically about GSCEs and A-levels; my dd just went blank and stared at the wall she was so confused (didn't give much of a good impression, I'm afraid, but she was quite disappointed about several things at that moment).

She gave us a booklet from 2011 for Year 7s, which didn't tell us much about what she'll be studying this year. I have no clue. I mean, I know the general subjects but haven't been able to find anything at all about what exactly they're doing in history, English, maths, etc.

And the admissions said she would have a locker but that the finance people would explain to her about perhaps paying less since she's starting in year 8 and may not stay. But my dd has no clue how to find the finance people.

She did have a buddy, so that was nice. But she got lost at lunchtime because the buddy went to buy lunch. Fortunately, some year 9s came up to dd and asked if she was okay, which was really heart-warming.

Lancelottie -- I almost cried I would be so happy if they did that for dd. An hour and then half a day?? That would have been so helpful. My dd didn't know if she was going to be able to find her form room or whatever it's called this morning. I couldn't take her because I have a younger one to take to school in an opposite direction.

Hopeforever -- yes, we arrived the last few days of August, waited all this time to get a school. And, actually, I only got her started at this school because I called all the schools we applied to directly. We still don't have an official letter from the LA telling us which school she is assigned to. Now I'm thinking I really need to appeal to our first choice school.

Thanks everyone!

OP posts:
Faxthatpam · 03/10/2012 09:53

They have not done their job at all!
Whether he knew who you were or not is irrelevant - he was rude. They should have given you a tour, explained the system with food, found a buddy, a timetable - all the things Lancelottie's DS got.

I would call them and ask for a chat with the head of year, explain that your DD is feeling overwhelmed and get them to look after her properly, don't take no for an answer.

Good luck, I am sure it will improve once she (and you) finds her feet.

QuintessentialShadows · 03/10/2012 09:42

Had you not spoken to the school at all prior to showing up for first day? Not gone in for even one visit or a tour?

Did you at any point ring the school and say "Hi, I am Spalva, my daughter is joining Y8 next week, can we come and speak to somebody and have a look around?"

If you had not, this may explain the Heads perplexity, and frequent mention of not knowing who you were....

Skivvytomany · 03/10/2012 09:36

It doesn't sound very organised. I know that when I changed my sons school ( only a couple of miles away not a different country or anything) the school had like a buddy system for new pupils. They didn't know what levels he should be on because old school never sent on the information but as he was only twelve they figured out his levels quite quickly.
The school should have given you some sort of handbook with all the information in it before she started though.
Give the school a phone and ask them for the extra information. Also does your school have a website, that may have some more information for you.

Hopeforever · 03/10/2012 09:35

It sounds chaotic, but how much contact did you have with the school before you took DD in for her first day?

I would have expected her to see the school and meet the head before her first day.

It sounds as if you have only just moved?

As for the locker, no year 8's at DS's school have lockers. They do get to know which day they will need kit, and what kit they need.

Hope things improve

Lancelottie · 03/10/2012 09:35

Actually the PE teacher is the only one DS struggled with gave him detention for incorrect kit in his first week, before we'd got the order through so maybe your daughter's lack of help from the PE teacher is par for the course!

Lancelottie · 03/10/2012 09:33

Your poor daughter!

Mine moved schools in yr 8, mid term. No big deal, same country, same system, not even very far away. Here's what a 'good' school did:

The year manager met us together, showed him round and introduced the form tutor
Found him a uniform order form
Provided him with a buddy, a locker and a timetable
Suggested he stay just for an hour to get his bearings, then a half day before he went full-time
Emailed me twice that week to let us know how things were going

...why these guys haven't got Ofsted weeping on their shoulders I'll never know.

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