Do kids at Public schools get to have a life?

dd1 is at an academic and very sporty private school, she gets home at approx 6.15 every day after training (she does different sports every day). approx an hours prep. I didn't want to drive her around after school to loads of activities, am happy for her to do everything 'in house' The 2 hour commute would put me off plus the lack of sports. dd1 does netball, hockey, swimming, xc, fencing, biathlon training and football every week!

My DC have long school days at independent school. In fact my DD's day is longer than DS's super selective public school.

However, I can assure you that they and all their friends have lives. They all seem to sing/dance/act/play high level sports . They also spend absurd amounts of time on their phones, watching re runs of Friends and surfing the t'internet for the perfect pair of shoes.

Oh my word, captain! That is a different story! Sounds like fun to me.... But lots Of days when he can't go because of bad weather, perhaps?

Interested in this, as OH currently looking at a prep for DD for yr3 but it would involved a commute via a boat! Was thinking that this would be social, and not half as bad as a bus as you would be able to walk around, have a drink, go to the loo, stretch your legs, look at the sea. But at age 7?!

But for some, snog, the commuting is the most social part of the day - the friends on the train/ coach have always been a big bonus for kids. And those who live walking distance of school and get home at 4.15 feel strangely left out!

I commuted as a kid and no way would I do it as an adult, and certainly wouldn't let my dd commute to school.
Also left me socially isolated as a kid which was awful.

The day is 9-4.30? That's not much longer than a state school day (eg 8.50-4.10)?

I think this being a private school is a red herring. You might like to put a shout out for rural families, who are inevitably faced with journeys of an hour or mor (especially if there is hanging round until the bus leaves, and then trundling round the villages on the way back). This does mean the tradition o homework on the bus.

But teens coming in at 6ish still have plenty of hours before bedtime, an thi could be for activities, homework, family time or screen time and incessant texting. Children starting secondary school often do drop their after-primary-school activities. It's not a length of school day issue; it's a growing into a teen issue.

Leisure reading targets are less common. Did you ask why the school has these? I wish someone had thought to place one on my dyslexic DC in secondary school (might nick this idea for next parents evening).

You pays your money and you takes your choice - we all make different decisions and it seems that no one can understand the circumstances that leads someone to make a different one!

We're not talking about public schools here - the question seems to be about independent day schools which are not the same.

As for having no life, my DCs all went/go to the kind of school we're talking about - leaving at 7.15 and returning at 5.15 then with 2 or more hours homework each evening. But no Saturday school.

And they did/ do have a life, as do their friends and classmates. For example, my DD goes to music college on a Saturday; until 6th form she danced competitively; she has class mates in national sports squads - rowing, diving, gym and athletics. They do have a life, at national squad level or recreational level - some of them getting to the pool/ice rink at 6am to train each day or not getting back til 10 every night. And still getting all A stars at GCSE and then going on to the university of their choice.

It's not done without great dedication and massive talent but they do have a life - its just a different one from one that others might choose.

I agree with everyone else-it depends on your lifestyle and the school. Dd needs to be in childcare from 8am-6pm, as I work ft. At school she does a club every night, gets her homework done in the hour between clubs finishing and me picking her up, and is home and in bed for 8pm. It would be no different if she was at a state school, but would be at a childminders instead of doing clubs, and she much prefers the clubs as practically all of her friends also go. We do nothing school-related at the weekends other than a quick check that homework is done on a Sunday night, and it works really well. The children all seem to work hard and play hard, and it puts my mind at rest as I'm not spending the weekends trying to tire her out mentally.

I think I know what you mean. We visited a top performing girls' school and loathed it. No sense that the real measure of a school that was so highly selective should not just getting the top grades (ie they ought to be a given) but also giving the girls a chance to experiment and have fun - everything was seen in terms of excellence and CV points. The unceasing pressure to be excellent at even extracurricular 'fun' stuff was just awful. I know there are top performing schools that really do try and give their children a proper and rounded education and some fun as well - it's a pity there's no way to tell from league tables which ones do and which ones don't.

Ds used to do his homework on the train, as well as revision for tests that he was due to sit that day! He scores 100% He has Saturdays off for 'fun' and he doesn't spend all evening doing homework so he still has time to relax.

Yep - the prep my DS would do on a bus would = crap.

I'm at a loss to understand what prep you can do on a bus I get travel sick just reading the headines of someone's newspaper and it is certainly not setting you up for self motivated work habits when at uni.
Having commuted for many years I wouldn't wish to inflict it on my worse enemy let alone my DC.

happygardening - I think boarding works really well, especially from 13+. It would suit my DS, but we can't afford the extra £10K pa fees.

Many of my friends' older children, who go to the super selective academic day school we have dismissed, get up at 6am, catch the bus from the nearest town at 7.15am - get to their school at 8.30am, leave at 4pm (no extra curricular activities permitted, or the bus has gone), get home at 5.30 - 3 hours homework, 30 minutes relaxation, bed at 9pm (or can't get up at 6am).

No fun, just school and homework.

No thanks.

Plenty of children in "public schools" do get to have a life especially those at boarding schools. My DS does at least one extra curricular activity a day CCF once a week and participates in informal activities in house and inter house competitions and attends plays etc. But he also does approximately 2 hours of prep/homework 6 nights a week (hes yr 10) and revision for regular sometimes weekly test and termly exams. If think he has a life as he chooses what to do outside of lessons.
Frankly come exeats holidays he's exhausted but I'd rather this than a two hour commute every day and trying to do prep on the bus!

Bright children don't do well anywhere! In environments where they are encouraged they do, in environments where it's not 'cool' to ask or answer questions they don't because they are left feeling like nerds and with no self esteem.

Does your DD get a say, or is it down to mummy and advice from strangers on the internet?

Just wondering as I was sent to a god awful academic girls private school, when I would have much preferred to have gone to the local comp with all my friends, and had the money put in the bank for my future. I wasn't allowed an opinion though.

I went to the local comp for my A levels, and got straight As, which kind of confirms the point that bright kids will do well anywhere.

My three have all been to private school and all have a life. Youngest is 13 and is home by 4.30pm. No Saturdays and has a nine week summer holiday.

And it's the top girls school in the county.

So I think it varies from school to school.

There are lots of very academic but also sporty schools for girls, you may just not live near one.

I wouldn't want a 2 hour commute a day for a child it is a waste of everybodys time.

I moved for the right schools so do many in both state and private. Keep looking.

I wandered down into Eton today. It is on the cards for DS because it is literally one of our local schools and the only local, selective, independent school.

There is a 'societies' board in the centre and today it was advertising a club for Eastern European students, a club planning to watch and discuss some classic film and 'EntSoc' advertising an American film director coming to talk about 'what makes good entertainment'.

I did think 'get a life'.

DS was at a "top 20" school - most homework was done on the bus or in the few minutes before school started in the morning.
He spent most of his free time playing computer games or DJing but his results were all A*/A.
Teachers at this school told me that they expected that homework would be done on the bus and didn't make a big thing about it as long as it was done.