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Original poster

Year 7 - is this inappropriate talk from this boy or am I naive?

34 replies

sandyballs · 29/09/2012 11:22

DD has told me this morning that a boy in her year keeps asking her if she fingers herself and can he finger her! She says she just walks away. I'm not happy and thinking of either complaining to school about him or his parents.

I know now she's at secondary she will come across all this sort of talk but to directly ask her? WTF? DH thinks its harassment.

Ive posted on here before about this lad. They were in year 6 together and he kept asking the girls about wanking and other stuff. A few parents complained to the teacher and the schools way of dealing with it was to chat to the boys concerned, their parents weren't informed. I remember a few posters on here saying if it was their boy they would want to know, as would I.

So what do I do? I have a meeting at school on we'd so could bring it up then. Shall I speak to his parents or his nan, who I know quite well. He sometimes knocks at home for DD to go to the park. She will never be going there with him now but I'm tempted to invite him in and tell him exactly why and if it continues, I will be round his house like a shot and up the school.

OP posts:
Bubbless · 29/09/2012 12:44

tbh? i think you should teach your daughter a few 'coming back' phrases such as, 'id let someone with a vile mouth like you anywhere near me?!'
going into the school wont really help, and she could be subject to bullying because of it, i work in a school (and am only 20!) so am pretty used to the comments boys banter about and that ones pretty tame.... i, personally, think youd be better off teaching her how to deal with it rather than fighting her corners for her! unfortunaltly, it will only get more crude!

Original poster
sandyballs · 29/09/2012 12:36

Thanks for replies, i will mention it on Wed as I'm at school anyway and meeting her head of year.

DD only told me because a friend of hers mentioned it last night to me. I'm not sure she would have done otherwise. i've chatted to her this morning about being open with me and nothing she could tell me could particularly shock me, but sometimes an adult is needed to deal with stuff etc. hope it's going in! She gets embarrassed and tells me not to keep going on! Not sure I'm ready for this next stage of parenting!!

That's a good point pinklantern, we wouldn't tolerate that in the workplace.

OP posts:
Jux · 29/09/2012 11:44

Dd was subjected to a similar sort of harassment in Y7 from a boy in y8. She decided she would tell her tutor, who told her head of year who discussed with the boy's head of year and tutor. The boy was punished quite severely.

What does your dd want to do about it?

pinklantern · 29/09/2012 11:42

It doesn't matter whether or not you may be naive, or if all kids of this age are saying these kind of things (they're not), what matters is its making your daughter uncomfortable. We wouldn't tolerate this behaviour in the workplace, why would we tolerate it for our daughters? Well done on being the kind of parent who you daughter feels comfortable coming to with this delicate issue, and well done for having the balls to address it, I think you're doing the right thing.

Acandlelitshadow · 29/09/2012 11:36

Totally inappropriate and I'd class it as harassment too. I'd definitely raise it with the school especially as there's a meeting coming up anyway.

clam · 29/09/2012 11:33

And sandy I would have that conversation with him. But the best thing, of course, is that your dd has the strength of character to have told him where to go herself. Because there will be other boys ...

BellaVita · 29/09/2012 11:32

Absolutely inform the school. Speak to the HOY.

This is harassment.

clam · 29/09/2012 11:31

Watching this with interest, as I know of a 9 yr old boy who's saying similar things!!!

MrsHerculePoirot · 29/09/2012 11:28

Inform the school. It is highly inappropriate and would raise concerns in our school. In the majority of cases where inappropriate language/drawings are being used we find the student have access to films/video games/internet in their room etc... that really isn't appropriate for their age group. If the school tell the parents this and can say it is very unusual, not normal at that age etc. this can sometimes give the parents the shock they need to do something about it. Of course there are other reasons which are not nearly so easy to deal with, but definitely tell the school rather than mention it yourself to the parents.