Year 7 - is this inappropriate talk from this boy or am I naive?

I would hope my sons would not say sexual or sweary things in front of the catering staff and I would be more than happy for them to be told off for doing so, if that happened.

nomnom, obviously girls are more likely to avoid sexual harrassment at an all girls' school, but they're no more bully-free zones than boys schools or co-eds.

I certainly wouldn't want anyone speaking to my daughter like that - it's certainly not nice. The school certainly need to know immediately. If no one tells them they can't either have a word with him or keep on eye on things.

Bubbless, you might not have a connection with the children, but aren't you duty bound to inform the supervising staff of anything inappropriate? I work at a school and the catering staff certainly inform us of things they've heard or seen, so we can decide the best course of action.

I think it's totally inappropriate, and if that happened in a working environment, the boy/man would be seriously reprimanded even sacked for sexual harassment.

I would talk to the boy and the Nan as you know her, but I know that's hard, as I had a similar experience when my daughter was very young and a boy on a playdate behaved in a sexual manner. I did talk to the Mum, but she played it all down, and denied it too, and I made the decision as her neighbour and also as our kids were at the same school to not make an issue, but have not let my daughter go to his house again.

I cant help but blame internet phones. Kids have them in school and everywhere they go out of sight of parents and no one knows what kids are looking at

This thread makes me thank the lord my year 8 dd is at an all girls school. Vile.

Well I certainly wouldn't, but I would mention it to the form tutor of my child pretty soon, either in person or on the phone.

I would ask for an urgent meeting with the head teacher first thing tomorrow morning.

At my secondary such comments could have been seen as minor BUT there were girls involved in child prostitution and others being sexually abused, as well as most of those who made such comments in year 7 equivalant ended up in care/borstal.

Most schools I know nowadays are far more clued up and pro-active about child protection.
Do speak to the school.

My biggest worry here is that the boy involved is either being exposed to inappropriate sexual images/videos or is being abused physically. Especially if this was happening at his last school as well. This needs to be reported asap. I would message the Head tomorrow morning at the absolute latest.

Bubbless, I still don't think that makes alright to think it is OK or 'normal'. In our school we would expect our catering staff to alert the teacher/s on duty - very often they challenge inappropriate language themselves.

I also think there is a big difference between 'banter' amongst groups of friends and individuals saying inappropriate things to others that don't want to have them said to them (such as in the OP). Having said that as adults we should be setting boundaries for children. I work at an all boys school and our biggest problem is the casual racism and homophobia - boys calling each other or things 'gay' or referring to each other using racist language that they think is OK as they are 'only doing it amongst friends' and because they are black they think it doesn't matter etc... We are having a massive, massive clampdown on this because it really isn't appropriate, even as a joke amongst friends.

im a chef, i work within in a school- i have no connection to kids so keep your hats on!
however; if you think thats bad i hear a LOT worse bantered around the canteen every lunch time, by kids of all ages.. including yr 7 girls!

No not appropriate and very very inappropriate if it's an escalation of comments he shouldn't have been making at primary.

To keep repeating stuff like is harassment and school need to know.

My Y7 DD would be very unhappy if someone said that to her. She's pretty streetwise, but I'm not sure she'd know what he meant. It goes beyond normal Y7 banter.

I would hope that even my Y10 DD1 (who sadly gets a great deal of stupid comments) wouldn't be expected to put up with boys repeating stuff like that more than once in a blue moon.

Not appropriate and I would flag it if I heard that from a year 7.

Totally inappropriate for a year 7 pupil. Inappropriate at any age but particularly for a year 7. I have been head of year and to me that sort of comment from that age group would flag up concerns about the child.

Please report it.

jux I am his school, so to speak. I have reported it several times.

Not at Bishop Bell I hope.

Bubbless, please tell me you're not a trainee teacher?

Clam, can you contact his school? As you can see, it is not normal - sorry Bubbless, it really isn't - and could be indicative of serious problems. He's 9 so still young enough for intervention to have a positive effect. At the very least, it would mean that the schoolgirls who come into contact with him may not be subjected to it.

Sandy balls, def. tell the school.

Bubbless, what school do you work at?

Bubless that is not "pretty tame banter". My dd is in Year 7, if I thought she had to listen to shit like that I'd go fucking nuclear.

I agree entirely with loulou. I also am a secondary school teacher and have been head of year as well. This is far more than 'banter', in any year group, but especially in Year 7. If this was bought to our attention we would keep a record of it, look to see if there were any other inappropriate behaviours across the school (often there will be many other minor incidents that on their own don't mean much to any individual teacher, but overall build up an entirely different picture). I expect that we would have invited the parents of the boy involved into school to discuss. It absolutely is not 'banter' or 'pretty tame' and I would be horrified to think that anyone in a school thought that and would let it go.

Sorry bubless I amA secondary teacher and I am gobsmacked that you think of this as 'banter'! It is highly inappropriate and could, worst case scenario, suggest that this boy is being sexually abused.

My dd2, now y8, encountered quite a lot of this talk in y7. Apparentlyshe replied to oneparticularly unpleasant specimen `Do carry on. You are providing me with excellent material for my PhD in twat studies.' He slunk off.

It's definitely not appropriate behaviour.
If it was happening at primary school as well, when boy would have been 10, that is not normal behaviour.
There may be things going on at home.

I would definitely tell school and also if he knocks for dd again, tell him firmly he is not welcome.