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Original poster

OK, flame me gently... would you send your child to this school?

33 replies

ATailOfTwoKitties · 13/09/2012 11:26

Right. Ahem. Long-time lurker here.

We are in catchment for an 'outstanding in all categories' secondary school.
DD attends a feeder primary.
It's ten minutes away by bus.
All her friends will be going.

It's a no-brainer, really, isn't it? Lucky us.

Except that her brother went there for yr 7, and was so wretched that we eventually moved him to a less 'outstanding' school several miles away and NOT on a bus route. (Anyone recognising us from this unusual form of secondary-angst, please keep it under your hat.)

I love school B, but it undeniably gets lower overall results than School A; and DS, who says it's 'awesome', adds the rider 'but the English and language teaching was better at School A'. Art also appears stronger at School A. English and art are DD's strengths at present.

Two years ago we felt so let down by school A that we would never have considered working with them again, but certainly on paper it's the better fit for DD.

Aarggh. Anyone got some really penetrating-yet-tactful questions for Open Day that aren't just 'How would you help this child flourish at your school when it didn't work for her brother?'

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 13/09/2012 12:26

After reading the bullying post I would maybe go for school A.
It doesn't matter what the school can offer if they don't deal with bullying imo.

That was another reason that we moved ds1 and another reason that ds2 went to his school.

QuintessentialShadows · 13/09/2012 12:23

I have experience with schools where "there is no bullying" and would be skeptical to any school who claims this.

The reason there is no bullying is not because there is not any, but because the school is refusing to label anything as bullying. So, of course there is no bullying if bullying is brushed under the carpet, never recognized and never dealt with.

Go with your gut!

Original poster
ATailOfTwoKitties · 13/09/2012 12:18

Mmm. Yes, that's the issue in a nutshell. This is the school that all the village kids go to, though, and presumably most of them don't have that kind of a hard time. Talking myself round in circles here, because everyone is chatting at the school gate about year 6 being such a lovely group of girls (they are)/ can't believe they're nearly at secondary/aren't we lucky that they'll all move up together! DD is feeling 'really weird' about the whole thing (she's one of the few who's a younger sib -- most of her friends are oldest or onlies)..

OP posts:
ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 13/09/2012 12:06

Ah. Well, in the case of a school where they basically deny that you have a problem when you have a problem, I'd avoid like the plague.

Original poster
ATailOfTwoKitties · 13/09/2012 12:01

Thanks all. They are both quite naive, never quite 'in' with the mainstream, and find it very hard to shrug off teasing. In DS's case this tipped over into bullying, which he then took out on his sister as soon as he got home. School A's response was basically 'he overreacts' (probably he does) and 'he'd fit in better if he played football' (not a hope!). It's one of those schools where 'there is no bullying', but we aren't the only oversensitive parents to move a child out because of the inadequate response to this non-existent bullying.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 13/09/2012 11:42

They are different children. What is a good fit for your son might not necessarily be so for your daughter.

cheesesarnie · 13/09/2012 11:33

going by what you've written- i would try dd at school A.

up until recently i had 3 at 2 different schools.

the one that dd went to didnt fit ds1.

ds2 goes to the same school as ds1 did because it fitted him better.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 13/09/2012 11:29

I think you should ask your question as you've written it there, tbh. Chilldren are individuals, and if you think your DD will do well at school A, then give her the option. Why did your DS have a bad time?