Year 7 - packing their school bag

I have one of the world's scattiest 12yos. Even so she manages to get herself up, breakfasted and off to school while we're still in bed, mostly. I make her daily and weekly checklists, and I do run through this with her in the evenings, but I don't pack her bag or check it.

A year ago, I thought secondary school would be a disaster for her in terms of getting endless detentions for forgotten gym kit and homework, but she's been fine, she does forget things, but she learns to try a bit harder next time. If she forgets her keys, then she can't unlock her bike and she has to walk home from school. If she forgets her homework, she gets (theoretically) a detention, if she forgets lunch box and money she has to borrow it. She survives just fine.

Dd has just started in Y7, last week she was really keen to pack everything, this week she's shattered so I am standing nearby while she packs it herself and I'm issuing hints as she goes, but I'm not doing it for her. Next week I hope she'll be back to doing it all herself.

Seriously?! OMG, I can't believe anybody actually packs their child's bag for them It has never even occurred to me to do this (with 4 kids and full time work, I haven't time frankly). I have started reminding my Y8 child to pack his bag the night before to stop him panicking 5 minutes before his bus, but I have never actually done it for him.

"If I don't do it, he won't"

How do you know this, if you have always done it? And if he doesn't do it, he goes in with the wrong equipment and gets short shrift and maybe a detention from the teacher - lesson learnt.

Btw, slight hijack but I'm glad to see others doing simillar to me. My dd is sooo disorganised/slapdash that I wondered if I was being a bit too control freaky!

What do you mean, he won't? Do you mean he would go to school with an empty bag?

DS yr7 has been packing his own for a few years and he has it down to a fine art. I do the run through as he leaves - money, phone, oyster card.
But if the routine is disrupted it all falls apart... such as yesterday no uniform as he was on a school trip so he left his oyster card in his school blazer, luckily the lovely London Underground staff let him through!

get him in the habit of packing it as soon as possible (you can always check it afterwards!)

I have never ever packed my DCs school bags.
Sorry but I don't think you are doing him any favors.
He needs to be responsible for his own stuff.

If my DCs forget their books/pe kit/oyster card/lunch/phone, they only have themselves to blame. Therefore they will be better organized the next day.

My two, now in years 9 and 7, pack thier own bags. We have drawers that are allocated for thier school stuff, and its thier responsibility to pack thier bag ready for the day. I get them to do them after homework in the evening to try and reduce the morning rush...
I feel they are old enough to take responsibility for thier bags, and hopefully will instill a lifelong habit of organisation [living in hope emoticon]

I'm with derekthehamster on this one . I get my DD to ensure she has everything she needs in her bag the night before (from day 1). Start tonight (you can always have a sneaky check at his timetable and bag etc just to make sure he's got everything).

Not being mean; he'll have to learn to take the consequences if he doesn't. My dd1 started secondary last week too; I've been prompting her by saying "have you packed your bag for tommorow?" The first couple of nights I may have double-checked her timetable & said things like "don't you need your .... book?" if I'd noticed she hadn't put it in.

The first week I felt I should help in that way because they had so much new to take in & wanted to be supportive. Now I just remind her to do it (& hopefully will cease doing that) & if she forgets something vital, she takes the rap/detention.

What do you mean he "won't"? Will he outright refuse or he just gets distracted and forgets things? I have a very dreamy ds2 who has just started in Yr 7 and so far we have been packing his bag together. He has good intentions but tends to forget half-way through and leave out his pencil case or something so I have been issuing reminders. However, I have no intention of carrying this on beyond the end of this week and am only helping this much because he has found the transition from primary to secondary very tiring, lots of changing classes on a large school site, longer trip to school etc.

I think helping at the beginning is fine because for most Yr 7s it's a big change from primary and they need support with the transition but beyond the first few weeks they have to take responsibility themselves. Once your son gets a detention or two for forgetting books, I bet he will get his act together.

He packs his own, albeit with me sitting on his bed issuing reminders

No. I expect mine to pack their bags already but do remind them to do it. Plus a mantra of 'phone, bus pass, keys' every morning.

Personally I'd have made him do it from the start, if only because the teachers will be more understanding of forgotten items within the first couple of weeks, than they will be later on in the term.

My son is in yr 8 and has only forgotten a french book once (he is quite useless and remembering most things but he's got the bag packing down to an art!)