Year 7 - packing their school bag

Wow, amazed at the parents packing the DC bags, unless reason - eg adhd etc - DC have done theirs since they started school - before playstation bed, not in the morning. But like Edith, I do admit to the chanted mantra , 'keys, phone, bus pass' every evening.... And we do have a bag thing on the front door for them to picked up notes I have signed.

I haven't packed a school bag in years (and DD2 is in Y5). I didn't actually know people did this for their children.

I pack dd's and I know I need to stop. I'm going to be strong.

And last night she said she had no homework and at 8pm I found a bit of paper in her back detailing homework that had to be in this morning. Part of me thinks if I hadn't found it at least she would have learnt a lesson.

My dd Y8 has always packed her own bag the night before. This has worked fine for us. She has her timetable written on a whiteboard on the wall that I bought for her and she filled it in.

Please don't pack his bag for him, he is in Year 7!

If you must, stand there and make him tell you what he needs that day and make him pack it while you watch, so you know he has done it. If he absolutely refuses, let him deal with the consequences.

Lending a hand is one thing, doing it for him is something completely different.

Umm, the Bag for Life stays at home; the theory is that all his clean kit goes in there, and he picks out what he needs on PE days. I don't make him carry a huge shopping bag around school all day!

I am horribly chaotic, but I'm trying to help ds be less so. Nobody ever showed me how to be organised; I certainly never got any help with organising bags for school. I think I'd have had a happier time at school if I'd been helped a bit with organising myself, iyswim. It's reasonable, and not at all cossetting, to lend a hand.

I've got ds a Bag for Life for all the various sports kit to go (indoor/outdoor/rugby/football/swimming) and a sturdy box from the Works for books, calculator etc. I've Blutacked a copy of his timetable to the lid, so he can see what he needs to remember.

The theory is that by keeping everything in a designated place it should be easy to pack the night before. Someone posted the box tip on MN a while ago (I forget who, but thank you!).

Week 2 now and he packs, but I've made it easy for him and I'm still checking. So yes I'm handholding, but I want this first few weeks to be as painless as possible. I don't think a detention would be terribly helpful right now, and there would be no opportunity to nip home for forgotten books or shin pads.

He's Year 9.

Nooo. DS1 is Year 8 and packs his own bag. He goes to school on the coach 12 miles away and forgetting stuff is not an option plus it isn't going to be my responsibility.

Y7 DD packs her own and gets her own sports stuff ready for lessons and after school activities. I did help her work out what she needed for first few days. If he finds that kind of organisation difficult, would help him set up the process (list, timetable etc) and then get him to take the lead on doing it with your support to start for a few days or so. All kids different and the first few weeks are overwhelming!

no they should be packing their own bags. Mine need to be reminded of course but they won't be allowed to do anything else until it's done.

Year 7 boy here also and he has been told he has to pack his bag on his own from day 1. We have had to return to the house twice in the first week for a forgotten biology book and forgotten shin pads but I have told him its the last time and it's up to him.

One thing that does concern me and I will have to check is the PE kit as he said it was fine when I asked but I know they played football twice last week. It will get checked tonight I think.

Year 7, new school, possibly first time with a proper timetable....

Certainly I would be inclined to supervise just to ensure that he is getting the best possible start. Agree that actually doing it for him isn't helpful, but I helped him make a list of what he needs for each day and then his responsibility to check it off.

I think that it is the reference to the fact that he "won't do it" that is confusing. Is it a case of refusal, or cba, or distraction?

Minesawine - I am helping DS pack his bag every night, not doing it for him but supervising. I will do that for the first couple of weeks but then he'll be doing it himself.

Goodness no!

I did on the first evening tell her I expected the bag to be packed the evening before, not in the morning.
I have checked she had the house key on the day I thought I might well be out when she arrived home.

I asked her what the consequences of forgetting something (after school detention) and then left her to do it herself.

What! Packing his school bag in year 7?

Help yes- make a list and stick it in the kitchen or what ever, even go through it with him... " Tuesday week 2, here you are it says you need science stuff- think was there any homework to hand it?...... maths......PE- OK tell me what PE and what kit you need...." etc

You've got to lead him down the line to being independent and effective. Help him to learn don't do it for him.

Note by the front door " check keys bus pass and lunch" too!

If it takes a long time get the back packed the night before.

I'm helping my DS2 pack his bag. It's all quite overwhelming for a dreamy distractible child from a very laid back primary. So after he's done his homework I'm reminding him to check his timetable for tomorrow and work out what he needs to take in. I'm also reminding him where to hang his blazer and key fob thingy so that he can find them on the way out in the morning.

DS1 is in Y10 and very scatty (ADHD traits). The natural consequences of not reminding him is not that he learns the next day - he just gets more and more chaotic and behind. He is learning gradually with lots of support but it is like dealing with a younger child (organisationally) and we have to provide more scaffolding. So he does pack his bag himself, and walks home sometimes if he's forgotten his Oyster and stands on the doorstep if he's forgotten his keys - but I strongly encourage him to get things ready and remind him many times in the morning.

My daughter has been packing her bag - I said I wanted her to do as she will be more aware than me of what she needs for the next day. She has never let me help with homework and doesn't like us showing interest, so I'm not always aware of what's happening anyway.

I would tell him he has to pack his own bag. As someone said the first few days they will be more forgiving if something is forgotten. My daughter's friend was told yesterday though that if she forgot her french book again she would get detention, so it's better your son learns from a warning rather than the consequences. I still prepare her lunch as I know what I want her to have, so that's one thing she doesn't have to worry about at the moment though.

I made my DC pack their school bags from year 4/5.
And their kit bags from year 6.

You need to crack this op. By all means you can prompt with questions. It's a rare day I don't get in the car and say 'Phones? Inhalers?'

My son is not very organised (and neither am I unless I really work at it) so we have a system whereby we have created a checklist that he has to go through before he is allowed to turn his computer on in the morning and that includes checking his timetable and planner then packing his bag accordingly.

DS has just started P4, he'll be 8 in a couple of weeks - not sure how that relates to the English system.

At the parents introduction last week his teacher asked us all to start letting our children be responsible for their own bags. So, this week I'm doing it with DS, he looks at his timetable to see what he needs for the next day and then he gets it ready. I check it once he's in bed to make sure it's ok!

I don't pack any of my dc's bags including the ones at primary school, nor do I get them dressed, tidy their bedrooms or make them drinks when they are thirsty. They are quite capable and are not only learning how to be independent but also appreciate what is done for them.

DS is now in Y10 - so I leave him to it.

I do often just ask if he has his bus pass/phone/kjey etc. But he just huffs and says..yeahhh.. (although on occasion he doesn't have it!!)

I used to help out a little in Y7 -by sitting in the room and talking him through it for the first few weeks.

Night before I ask what my new Y7 is doing next day - Got HER to list any homework needed, what subjects' books, PE? Games? What bits of extraneous crap needed for D+T or Art or cooking?

She is in a routine now and automatically checks at the same time to see if phone is charged, has credit, how many bus tickets are left, if she has money and umbrella "just in case", and lays out uniform ready.

I seem to have misplaced my forgetful, untidy, couldn't care less daughter at Primary school, but found a new more mature, grown up one at Secondary - I prefer this one ..... for now!!!