Year 7 - packing their school bag

Oh dear. Aren't they meant to let you know - or at least let you daughter text you to say she'll be late?

Well dd doesn't appear to have come home on the school bus. Do I presume she has a detention? I have no idea if they do/should ring to let me know she's got a detention.

There is a detention/after school club school bus so she'll be able to get home if thats what's happened.

Ummm, rather overdid the "help" there. Sorry

Thank you for that, terrors.

By modelling that behaviour, you've taught your child about being helpful and kind as well as helping her to organise herself.

The tough approach really isn't the right one for all children, and lending a helping hand doesn't mean they'll grow up to be helpless.

A word of encouragement to those of you with scatty yr 7 children.

I have a 16 year old who used to be hopelessly disorganised - if the bag somehow got packed, it then often got lost. Neither the school or I felt being tough and letting her become anxious or hysterical about possible punishments would help. She was trying her best, but her best was heart-sinkingly bad: with a bit of time and effort, we gradually sorted out systems. She has now gone into the sixth form, doing well academically, and well organised and self sufficient. Most of her scatty friends also seem to be much more on top of things.

So, IME, if you feel the tough approach is not the one for your child, for whatever reason and especially if they are finding year 7 hard going or are prone to anxiety or panic, the gentle(r) one can also work!

my dd is year 3 and ds is year 5.
I help dd make sure she has her reading book and lunch, she puts them in her bag.
I ask ds if he has everything (and will remind him he has football club etc, although he usually remembers) He packs his own bag. I also expect him to drop letters off in the school post box. All about teaching him responsibility.

I cannot imagine packing their bags at year 7! I would help by choosing a time (before bed, after homework finished, before you are allowed on your ds etc) and I would help with comments (which lessons do you have? have you checked against your timetable?) I would make sure said timetable is stuck up somewhere it can't get lost and I would help if they asked. But no, it is up to them, part of being year 7.

If he won't, then he will presumably get detention. then he will learn to do it.

Liak many on this thread with new yr 7s, I am making sure DS packs it himself the night before and then having a sneaky look through to check, when putting his packed lunch in it in the morning! He's only had one mistake which was when I told him the wrong things to wear to gym class
He told his teacher 'It was my Mum's fault' and apparently I will be in detention if i do it again
I'm really heartened bu how all the staff seen to be very understanding of what a big transition it is for them.

And repeat -
Bags in the hall the night before
Timetable
Planner
Pencil case
Phone

And repeat -
And repeat

Tried to be hard on my 2 today as well, but just got stressed out myself as I found they had both not checked their bags last night after assuring me they had, and they were both runing around like headless chickens trying to find planners (one on the stairs, one on the living room coffee table) home work (in the printer) and shin pads (in the bathroom[huh!]) It just messed up DH and I both getting to work in a calm mood, as well as the start of their school day.

Copy of timetable in her blazer pocket is a good idea, will sort that.

They're very mixed up for lessons - so she goes to registrarion first but then everyone in her tutor group go different ways. Depends which band and what stream you're in, which language you have, etc. So she can't follow anyone. I'm sure her tutor will sort it.

Stable doors and all that - but mine have a copy of their timetable in their blazer pocket, so even when they don't have their planner they have their timetable. For today, she can follow her classmates to lessons, can't she?

She's not got her phone with her either. She borrowed someone's to ring me. We got cut off and I tried ringing back but the phone is off.

No harm in reminding- I even do that for my 6th former "got your phone/purse/keys?"

Viva- if you were feeling kind you could text her the lessons she's got. At least then she'll be in the right place at the right time.

Well I've been strong and it hasn't gone well.

DD rang up this morning from the bus stop in tears. She's forgotten her planner. I drove to the busstop with it but the buses were just leaving.

She rang up hysterical from the bus begging me to take it to school and I said no. She says she doesn't know what lessons she's meant to be in and reckons she'll be in a lot of trouble and maybe a detention.

Oh well, I suppose she'll be more careful in the future!

My DS is coming home from Yr 7 so wrung out I am helping with his bag some days, others if he is upbeat getting him to do it, then quietly checking. He's been rather in shock -everything overwhelming - and I'm happy to support him and ease off as time goes by. He is doing so much so well already.

Thing is, I don't know what DD1 needs. (Hell, sometimes I'm hard pushed to remember what I need for the day) It's her timetable, planner, etc. And at 11 frankly she's clearly ready for the whole shift to secondary, including taking a bit more responsibility for her life.

I have been supervising my very scatty twin boys (yr 7) with their bags, they pack themselves then I have a sneaky check later- good thing too as, so far, I found forgotten lesson planner, lunch money, locker keys, and last night one had mislaid his French book & homework ( see other thread).
Yes, they used to pack their bags for (their very small) primary, but it's a totally different thing for High School, as they have a bus journey, a 2 week rota, different lessons to each other, (so they cant rely on brother having what is needed any more!) are moving around the much larger building and have no "base" to leave anything, so everything gets carried with you. The list of thing to remember is far more than ever before, so I don't think a little help in these early days will hurt!

Dd normally cycles home, 10-15 mins. She can't get it home on her bike really either, that's been a whole other headache.

I canvassed DP who also forgets everything so he said he's probably take it in not let her suffer. So then I phone the school and asked if I should leave dd to suffer the consequeences, the nice receptionist said most parents did bring in forgotten ingredients. then she worked out that dd's cookery teacher was standing right there so I said ask her if I should bring in the ingredients or make dd suffer. And she said bring it in please it's her favourite group they're lovely! but then the teacher said she was off to Sainsbury's and could buy what we need so I ordered a packet of veggie mince and the teacher will send a note saying how much.

DD always gets away with everything. her teachers always let her off forgetting things cos she's got the art of sweet smiles and daffy eagerness down to a fine art.

Lasagne without mince is just longitudinal spaghetti with veggie sauce - it'll be fine!

It was already veggie mince for dd. It'll be disgusting veggie lasagne. (I'm not so fond of white sauce and large slices of pasta).

Does she have to carry it on a long walk or bus ride home on her own, too?

I think if you want mince you take the mince in. Or you cook something completely different at home with the mince in it. That's about what you want, not principles of self-sufficiency.

Won't it just be vegetarian lasagne?

Today's bag packing dilemma. It's not my yr 7, she's fine, it's the scatty yr 8. Who has packed her own back including for cookery, today I'm working from home and I find the mince - rather a key ingredient - in the fridge. Do I just shrug and accept we'll be eating inedible lasagne for dinner tonight? Or do I take it into school (1/2 hr trip by car or bike)? I don't mind if she gets told off for forgetting ingredients but I don't want to eat the result.

We've had years of encouraging independent bag packing but she's still pretty rubbish at it.

Ah, I've not seen the other thread.

Anyway, I don't mind helping with the bag packing and the lunches. DS pulls his weight elsewhere (kind of) and he does appreciate it.

That's really good news - I really felt for you, and of course him, last week.

Onwards and upwards!