State grammar schools compared with independent schools

But if private schools don't deal with bullies customers take their business elsewhere.

I've often wondered if private schools in this climate can be as strict with bullying as a state school can? Who wants to loose fees in a recession? In DS's state school, bullies get expelled - full stop.

Perhaps you could consider a bigger prep school. gnome is right IME you get more diversity of personalities and thus a bigger pool of friends at a bigger school and importantly I would have thought for your DS's age group hopefully less wrapping of children up in cotton wool.

Yy, Gnome. Some people put too much emphasis on small schools being nicer, imo.

Agree with Blu, children dont get eaten alive in state school. Also, you need to look beyond the statistics, average does not mean typical.

IMO large schools can provide a far more welcoming atmosphere for the individual than a small school. In a large school it is much easier to find someone to be an individual with than in a small school where it is easier to become isolated (saw this with DN).

If your DS is good at Maths, have you thought about RGS in Guildford? He can either join at 11 or defer until 13 I believe - which would give you the option to keep him in the prep for longer.

If you want a independent with very high standards of pastoral care for all and SEN in the SE most parents you meet on the side of a rugby pitch and heads would say St Edwards in Oxford is in a league of its own.

''We probably won't go state.'' - don't knock it until you've tried it or in this case taken a closer look at the state schools on offer - may get a pleasant surprise .

The primary school that my DS went to actively encourages Y5 & Yr6 to become independent and if within distance make their own to school - walking or by bike.

As independent pre prep schools are not necessarily in walking distance of most of their students then a degree of independence in that way is not going to occur, but its got to happen at some stage and by doing it gradually not such a big shock to the child and parents.

OP our prep went up to yr 8 but a handful left at yr 6. Obviously in the ideal world the school wanted them to stay till the bitter end but if people were determined to go at the end of yr 6 for whatever reason (it was in a country with grammar schools) then as the head couldn't actually stop them he advised them on suitable options provided refs and even liaised with potential schools. IME most heads are realists especially if your considering state ed. because you don't want to pay the fees anymore.

seeker, how is ds doing?

I don't know of any grammar schools which actually have the same academic results as non selective schools- do they exist?

And small class sizes are not the holy grail- it's what's done with the class that's important.

There's a few grammar schools here that perform average/same as the other secondary schools. Also i went to a catholic school which had smaller class sizes than my other halfs grammar school, i was quite shocked that his class sizes were all 30+ though that said school is no longer a grammar school. I just always read all about local schools regardless of whether they are a grammar school etc etc.

My DS friends who have gone off to independent school all catch a bus to their various schools at about 7.30am after having made their own way to the bus stop !

My DS goes to local secondary and leaves at 8.15am on his bike on his own straight to school - quite like that.

Everyone is different we put a 10 yr old on his own on a mainline train (150 mile journey) and people stopped him and asked him what he was doing, where were his parents? We've friends who wouldn't let a 12 yr old walk 20 yards to a shop in his own.

"Dunno, we were staying with friends in Thanet, their DS is going Faversham Grammar (wasn't then), and he was forever coming and going places on his own. Was a bit tbh."

What do you mean? I really am puzzled- are you saying that secondary age children shouldn't go places on their own? Or that they shouldn't get the bus from Thanet to Faversham on their own? That is quite normal behaviour for secondary school kids- honestly.

OP am assuming you've asked your head for advise on where to send your DS? As a general principle heads are usually pretty good at coming up with suitable schools and are not afraid to suggest the state sector if they think your leaning that way.

LOTS of schools have 300 in a year.
Eton has nearly 200 FFS

And if you do not live in a grammar area its an ENTIRELY irrelevant thread

If you are in Surrey then all the good state schools (in fact most state schools ) are oversubscribed - you will have to make sure that you are in the right catchment area - although saying that you have to applied by end of October .