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Single-sex boarding schools

70 replies

Bonsoir · 02/07/2012 18:29

Do you think that single-sex boarding schools perpetuate entrenched sexism?

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mynack · 06/07/2012 13:06

I agree with Sundae School's comments but am very happy to believe that everything is very different nowadays. I think I am, so far, the only ex-boy's-boarding-school-MN in this thread at present. This was back in the 60s. It definitely coloured all my thinking for life because at school we simply never even had the chance to talk to girls for 36 weeks a year. we were not allowed even to talk to them in the street! So in this situation you put girls on a high pedestal, which is actually a kind of inverse sexism. You wish you were allowed to express your feelings, as you know girls do all the time, instead of keeping a stiff upper lip even about bad things.
Now I work in a comprehensive school and feel so envious about the whole life opportunities dc's have these days just to recognize the differences between boys and girls and welcome all the opportunities for a well-adjusted adult life that complete co-education simply brings automatically.

Bonsoir · 05/07/2012 10:39

Thank you for all your thoughts Smile

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SundaeGirl · 05/07/2012 00:31

'Kings Canterbury is considered by friends a boys school with girls '

There, right there. There's your sexism. A boys school with girls second is a recommendation. Didn't have to go far for that one. Wtf should prioritising boys over being co-ed be a recommedation for a co-ed school?

I agree that or all the glam physics teachers in the world, it's going to be the home attitude that counts the most.

grovel · 05/07/2012 00:12

Radley?

Wandastartup · 04/07/2012 22:54

Not citrus - I think we went to the same school! Was the speaker a chemist married to a novelist? I left in 1992.

happygardening · 04/07/2012 19:24

Eton?? I never hear a bad word about it from current or past parents. But is likely to be very very oversubscribed at 6th form entry and I couldn't keep a straight face if my DS was in the uniform!! Very corporate but you might like that and team sports very strong.

happygardening · 04/07/2012 19:18

Harrow??

happygardening · 04/07/2012 19:17

Westminster is apparently fab and its results of course are excellent but I'm not sure how many boarders there are again in the minority I suspect parents might be bit ghastly as well!!
Kings Canterbury is considered by friends a boys school with girls good links with Eurostar. Some people really rate Wellington I personally think the head is a self publicist who makes me want to reach for the vomit bowl!!

goinggetstough · 04/07/2012 19:09

Oundle definitely selective rather than super selective I agree. We have had a number of friends with DCs here all of which are now at Oxbridge. They have all without fail though described the schools ethos as academic and very competitive.
I am not sure either about the day/boarding ratio at Sevenoaks but I believe the number increases in the sixth form with full boarders. About 50% boardin the sixth from I believe.Our friends DD was a full boarder and she didn't complain and is now at Cambridge. It has the advantage of being in a town and has easy access to London. I thought though it had Saturday school?
If you want super selective then it's probably single sex schools only. Bonsoir do check with the London day schools with boarders that the numbers you are given relate to full boarders and don't include their weekly boarders as well.

happygardening · 04/07/2012 18:55

I wouldn't describe Oundle as super selective more like very selective. I always forget Sevenoaks very very well regarded by friends in the know but apparently difficult to get into and a mass exodus of children at the weekend. I not sure what the boarder day ratio is all we know there are day children.

happygardening · 04/07/2012 18:53

If he a "herd type and never happier than with his peers" I'd look at Winchester (I admit my bias) not a herd ethos but exceedingly housecentric but very boyish. They only do the Pre U generally considered harder than A levels and according to my DN at a London day school a lot more interesting than A levels the equivalent grades carry more UCAS points.
But very inflexible in lots of ways no going home a day early here and not a place for interfering parents. Lots of opportunities very intellectually stimulating but maybe not strong on team sports and no rugby. Many say suits the eccentric individual.

Bonsoir · 04/07/2012 18:45

I think DSS2 would like lots of boarders - he is a herd type and never happier than with his peers. He has boarded before, albeit briefly, and loves the full boarding aspect. So a day school with boarding is not what we would be after. A predominantly boarding school would be more like it and, yes, co-ed would be highly desirable - it would be very odd for DSS2 not to have girls around as his whole life has been co-ed in every way.

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happygardening · 04/07/2012 18:42

When we looked there were 30 boarders all 6th formers. Its not a traditional boarding school but I can see for a 16 + boy especially one that hasn't boarded before it is an excellent alternative being more close to uni life than school.I can see its not what everyone wants but if I was in your situation it would be the first one I looked at. Go with an open mind don't read the website I challenge anyone not be impressed with it.
Superselctives and boarding; Westminster (mixed 6th form) Winchester Eton probably Tonbridge but lots of day children without st. Pauls advantages. I don't do coed but off the top of my head I cant think of any coed boarding schools in the same league as these. Marlborough Kings Canterbury Charterhouse are really the next level down very selective rather than super selective personally good as they are if I was in your position I wouldn't waste my money!

goinggetstough · 04/07/2012 18:29

Sevenoaks (IB school) and has international slant plus easy access with Eurostar from Paris.
Oundle - very competitive ethos according to friends with DCs there.
Am assuming you want co ed? Both have good Oxbridge offers each year.
I think it is important to look at how the brightest sixth formers/scholars are taught, encouraged etc as there are few co ed superselectives and I expect HG will disagree with the 2 above.

Bonsoir · 04/07/2012 18:23

Thank you for your ideas!

Which schools would you include in superselective?

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goinggetstough · 04/07/2012 18:19

HG do you know how many full boarders there are currently at St Paul's. I just looked on the ISC website which used to have the numbers and all they had was the 2007 report which says there are only 13 full boarders. I certainly won't want that for my DS, but maybe these numbers have increased?

happygardening · 04/07/2012 18:06

If I was in your situation I would find a super selective boarding school I also think that as you are abroad that you need to find one where the majority of children full board otherwise your DS will be left alone a lot at weekends what ever the school will tell you to the contrary. Some are more liberal than others in particular some are very rigid about leaving a few days early at the end of term or even the night before to catch a plane, having a weekend at home when its not an exeat etc and other aren't you need to decide how much flexibility you want. The other thing is that some have exeats every half term others have hardly any at all these factors would influence my decision more if I was living abroad more than coed versus boys only and sexism!
Many super selectives have small intakes in the 6 th form but be warned the entrance process is very competitive. Having said all the above if I was you I would look at St Pauls boys nearly all their boarders are 6 th formers from a wide variety of countries and there is lots of flexibility they have very strong links with St Pauls girls it is a modern 21st century school no meaningless ritual ridiculous uniforms here!! Good luck.

Bonsoir · 04/07/2012 16:49

DSS1 and DSS2 are very happily at a Parisian private (Catholic) day school with ace results (consistently top 20 in Paris, often top 20 nationally) so that is our starting point! The attraction of boarding school for DSS2 (for sixth form) is that he is very clever but not really pushed at all in the French system. Working in English with a lot of very clever children to keep him on the ball (he does like to be top) would be good for him.

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happygardening · 04/07/2012 16:26

Bonsoir it depends on your DC and your local state school for me yes there are only two boarding schools that are better VFM than my excellent local comp (with places). I not only looked at loads of others desperately looking for a fall back but also work in them so I feel I'm speaking from experience. But your DC's are likely to be different from my DS and your location is also unlikely to be the same and maybe your financial position is not the same; we weighed up sacrifices against benefits if money was no object then maybe I would think differently although i doubt it even the exceedingly wealthy want value for money.

Bonsoir · 04/07/2012 16:21

My DSS2 has been to boarding school for short stays (five weeks) twice and loved it. Interestingly, he is far more naturally sexist than DSS1, who has never been to boarding school (the very idea horrifies him).

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happygardening · 04/07/2012 16:19

Of course girls and boys boarding houses are different. If you talk to matrons who've worked in both they will tell you that they are very different places but difference doesn't mean better. I too am surprised by your comment "the DCs only slept in their houses" IME experience at senior level even if you eat in a main dinning room most children spend a considerable time in their houses in most boarding schools there are three half days a week and prep is usually done in house particularly for younger children. In fact I would be concerned if little time is spent in house as this is a child's "home" when at boarding school his base where he/she can come and chill out the HM is keeping an eye on what you're DC is up too not possible if they are rarely in the house and also your DC will not get lost in the crowd. Some schools are of course exceedingly houseccentric which I personally like others feel that in this situation the HM becomes so important that if he leaves then the dynamics of the house can change too significantly for better or worse.

goinggetstough · 04/07/2012 16:17

Bonsoir the dorms sound very similar to the differences between a normal teenage boy and a teenage girls bedroom. I am glad you didn't see my DD's dorm as that would have been overflowing with sports kit......
I presume what you are highlighting is that the schools are emphasising stereotypes and that this can affect the pupils? Boys do this and girls do that ? At my DD's girls school there was none of that they were allowed to do what they were interested in.

Bonsoir · 04/07/2012 16:09

happygardening - you think there are only two boarding schools in the country that are better VFM than state school?

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Bonsoir · 04/07/2012 16:08

Oh the boys' house we visited was all pool tables, games consoles, technology and sports kit everywhere. The girls' house was all squashy sofas in pretty sitting rooms and bedrooms overflowing with cosmetics and clothes. Wildly different atmosphere!

No eating in the houses - there were central dining rooms.

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happygardening · 04/07/2012 16:07

I work in a coed boarding school there are negatives to coed boarding as well as positives!! But ultimately our decision was not based on coed versus single sex but because for us my DS's school is unique and offers what he and we were looking for; there is no coed boarding school out there that even comes close. If it we had been able to find an identical coed ed then he would have had the choice and I suspect chosen the coed option but as we all know in life you cant have everything.
Actually if he had not been offered places at the two boys schools he choose we would have gone coed because he would have gone to the local comp because frankly I wouldn't waste my money on any of the others!

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