Great wise MNers, what are the REAL pitfalls of year 7 - for a (PFB) child with AS?

The dc's planner is a vital way of ensuring that no important messages get missed. Most schools expect parents to sign this every week. Also, there is probably a parents' zone on the school website where you can check up about dc's homework etc.

Well DS enjoyed his induction day, despite losing his water bottle. Apparently it fell out of his bag and down a stairwell 'and I couldn't stop and look for it because a huge wave of children was following me'. Luckily it was named and a very nice teacher gave it back to us at the evening meeting. I wonder whether they will be quite so nice and smiley after the 100th lost item...

Anyone recommend the best bag for carrying books that stops them ending up looking like they've been through the tumble drier? Not a briefcase, obviously. He took a rucksack today ( which is what most of the boys seem to use) but the stuff he brought back looked like it had been trampled underfoot. Have had this problem with his primary school bookbag as well and would love some ideas of how to solve it.

Lol; not quite cloned...luckily my ds does not have problems with sensitivity/preferences with clothing (except smart and tucked in, of course!) and am really hoping we don't need two lots of PE kit (at £250 for the first lot!!!!). He's never lost anything yet (she says!)

Oh blimey buttons - good idea to practise. DS regularly does them up wrong on the few occasions he wears clothes with them on. And he is still v e r y slow at changing for PE, which apparently will be an issue as a friend tells me they have very little time and a LOT of PE. Yikes.

Never thought I would utter these words, but thank the Lord we have a clip on tie...

DS has just finished filling in his induction booklet. Under 'What myths have you heard about secondary school?' he has written
' I have not herd of eneything'

Sigh

Kitkatgirl I totally agree - I am beginning to wonder if you are DS friend's Mum as DS and his other friends with ASD are always getting reports of good behaviour / effort etc.

DS has joined in a few lunchtime clubs - rather predictably the geeky ones ICT club, the robot club, the chemistry club and the electronics club

sorry - forgot! PE kit just vanishes - and then mysteriously reappears .... so make sure you've got at least one spare kit in case of emergencies

amazingly the tie's not gone missing - but my top tie tip for dyspraxic dc is for them or you to tie it in the morning and then if they have to take it off for PE, just loosen it and slip it over their head meaning they don't have to retie it afterwards

after years of polo shirt wearing at primary, ds found formal shirt buttons tricky - I had to remind him several times to start buttoning from the bottom otherwise we had a button/button-hole mismatch

if dressing is tricky, get them to practise in the summer holidays - and it also gets them used to the different feel of the clothes if that's an issue

I really wouldn't worry too much about being 'cool' - our idea as parents as to what's cool among 11 and 12 year olds will be slightly off the mark, however much research we do and one thing my ds can't do is notice the subtle things which make one child achingly cool and another just a wannabe.

I make sure that ds's clothes fit - nothing worse than slightly too short trousers on a very tall, skinny, gawky boy - but other than that we don't worry about what's cool and ds isn't bothered at all. It helps that he's in a selective stream at his school and there are lots of other slightly geeky children there so he doesn't stand out as much as in a more streetwise cohort.

Get 2 ties as a minimum, 3 would be better...stuff just disappears into thin air apparently

This is a brilliant thread - Ds1 is dyspraxic and has his induction day on Wednesday. I will be using all these tips! I had to at te trainspotting waterproof wearing - this is EXACTLY my DS, except that he tops it all off by putting the hood up. Whether its raining or not. Probably not the coolest of looks.

ds is just finishing Y7 - it's actually gone a lot better than I'd feared

It helps that the school is just round the corner and that all the kids from primary went there so he had a base of familiarity to start with

he has real problems with organisation so we have at least 2 timetables at home and I make him pack his bag the night before - this is slow-going - bearing in mind we've been doing this for nearly a year now I still have to remind him to take out stuff he doesn't need and go through his timetable checking what he does need!

I've got most of his friends' parents' emails so when he comes home with the cryptic message in his planner "do thing" I can ask someone else in his class what on earth that might mean ..

and I wouldn't expect too much in the way of joining in - ds hasn't joined any clubs etc and has hardly seen anyone outside school - I think that school in itself is so overwhelming that he can't cope with any more social interaction just at the moment

My DS will not wear a coat, whatever the weather but he wore his jumper every day from November until May!

I think that every school has its own cool code... and for that reason their choice of bag is VERY important!!

Oooooooooh I love you all.

PFB off to his trial day at secondary tomorrow and he will need ALL the above.

We're currently on 'spotting whether boys actually wear the school jumper' (as it's on the list but may not be worn IYSWIM) duty. DS has a tally chart he keeps in his primary school bookbag and he marks it whenever he sees a previously un-spotted secondary school boy to say
a) black or grey trousers
b) jumper or not

Exactly, and telling other children to listen to the teacher etc etc.

(Sometimes it really gets my goat when people (incl teachers) use 'SEN' to mean it's a problem to have any in their class). The two Aspie boys in my son's class are the best behaved as well as amongst the highest achievers. Hmm, got that off my chest).

Thanks to coppertop for the 'what to do if ' list idea. Will def use that!

Good luck to all our (pfb) Aspies for secondary:-)

Oh my goodness, ToryLovell, that is my ds exactly. He is always lecturing people on the evils of smoking, tucking their shirts in, wearing sensible shoes/coats etc. Am hoping he will be relatively okay as is going to an independent where most of the kids seem to be real geeks too:-)

Actually that reminds me of a big learning curve, regarding being cool.

At primary they are very sheltered and nurtured and anyone doing anything wrong is reported to the teacher and it is dealt with.

DS fully expected secondary to be the same, yet there is the unwritten rule about grassing on one's peers for minor misdemeanour that DS still at nearly 14 struggles with.

There are kids smoking and swearing and he knows that this is wrong - he had to be told that he didn't need to start lecturing them on the dangers of smoking etc. Good old theory of mind meant that he thought that they must not have known that smoking was dangerous, else why would they do it?

MrsS3 - it's not cool to wear a coat, so if he's not wearing one then he is fitting in.

Mine too, MrsS3, that's the problem with AS - you have to teach them what's cool so that they don't get picked on:-(