daughter banned from her Prom, very unfair headteacher

Checking homework? Deciding what bus to get? At 16? Really? I am not the parent of a teenager am not speaking from any authority but when do they learn they have to do it themselves and that they can't rely on their parents?

Part of learning is failing and suffering the consequences.

Letters home about behaviour get..Err.. 'intercepted.'

Time to sit down with your daughter and kindly but firmly get answers.

Plenty of people on this thread have said that a child has to behave pretty badly, or have a lot of minor infractions to be banned from a Prom (people who felt that the OP was minimising her dd's behaviour). To be utterly fair to Scruffy, if my child was being that much of a pain in school, I would expect the school to let me know, so that I knew there was a problem, and could partner the school in tackling it.

After all, there might well have been things the OP could have done - like checking her dd's homework, if poorly done/handed in late homework was one of the issues; or turfing her out of the house for an earlier bus, if late arrival first thing was part of the problem. Added to which, I would have bollocked my dses good and proper if they were behaving badly enough in school to be banned from the Prom.

I would suspect the reimbursement was for the price of the ticket, not the outfit. I assume they pay for a ticket anyway?

You need proof??????

What proof do you have of that?

It's not vitriol. No school would say 'well your daughter has been banned from prom of her own doing, we're so sorry, here's your money back.

DS1 (Year 10 in September) is already aware that you must have a good behaviour record to go to the Year 11 prom!

Actually, I am sorry for your DD that she is missing her prom - it'll be a hard lesson for a 16 year old to learn. It will be a very valuable lesson though - actions have consequences and she will, at least, be all the more aware of that now.

OP could you keep the prom dress for your DD to use at her 6th form prom or at uni. You DD would have had warnings about her behaviour and the ban so she should be paying you for the dress or at least part of it not the school.

Quite a lot of virtriole in the last number of posts. Why should we disbelieve the OP about the reimbursements? I've also experienced end of term reports which haven't been glowing and I wish I'd been told sooner to try and nip things in the bud. It's only if I ask a teacher if everything is ok that they inform me of misdemeanours. If I didn't ask they wouldn't mention it at all.

"I was very upset at the poor communication from the school as they had given me no cause for concern, yes it appears DD was playing up but they failed to inform me so how could I have delt with it?"

OP, your dd is approaching adulthood- she needs to deal with the consequences of her behaviour, not you. She is not a small child who needs mummy to tell her why she is being punished. She has been told what was wrong and it was her job to do something about it. This is not about what you could have done, it's about her life.

Seriously, with that attitude, how do you expect her to hold down a job or cope at university in two years' time?

*You're

They're forking out for your costs?

Complete and utter bullshit.

You AND your daughter sound quite precious. To be booted out of prom she was not 'being silly.' She's behaved really badly.

I think your glossing over whatever your daughter has done. This will do her no good.

No school nowadays has £80 odd quid readily available to hand out to disgruntled mothers. And especially not disgruntled mothers whose daughters have behaved sufficiently badly that they're still banned from the prom. Just saying.

Howmuch are you talking? Most prom dress are over £100, not to mention the shoes/hair/nails that girls want these days (so glad i have boys and can hire from Moss bros - not cheap but less than dress/shoes/hair/nails/makeup...)

I don't believe for one moment they are going to reimburse your costs

They are going to pay for your costs?

I appreciate they were bad at communication but so was your dd.

Idon'tknowwhyIcare - what a nasty post.

The op has not been on here,since Tues evening when she went to visit the school.
My guess is that she has found out why her DD is banned,and the ban is staying in place.
I feel sorry for the DD.I know she may well have been getting herself into trouble,but it is still a shame.I hope the DD learns something,and if she does stay on at school somewhere,that she has a nice prom when she is 17 and 18,and even at Uni at summer balls.

she doesnt now what she has supposed to have done apart from the usual silly stuff like wearing her skirt to short or being late to lessons

Not silly and a good enough reason to ban her. She is 16 not 12, old enough to know the uniform rules and to read a watch.

And seriously if a young person of 16 can't get themselves organised and pointing in the right direction in the morning, yet focus admirably on an outfit for the school prom, then I suggest she may have got her priorities rather skewed.