daughter banned from her Prom, very unfair headteacher

Bella

How thoughtfull of the teachers. That is the kind of thing that is never mentioned in the teacher bashing threads.

I've managed to get out of it by pleading childcare problems - dh (genuinely!) stuck in traffic!

Pay to attend? Strewth. I hope my Head never gets to hear of that bright idea...

...although we're going Cackademy from September, so I wouldn't be surprised.

Some of my colleagues do look forward to it to be fair. I always spend the night clock-watching before rushing home to a bottle of wine as soon as is decent.

My DD says SLT, tutors and HOY always go. Then any teacher can and they spend most of year 11 trying to pursuade the wackiest and the most reluctant teachers to go. As if teachers don't have year 11 hard enough already!

Apparantly the Maths HOD has never, ever, been but said he would if my daughters set and top set, which he taught, worked hard for their exams. He managed to qualify it to his hand by saying "if he thought they worked as hard as they possibly could" but she says he got the highest ever early sitting pass rate from her set and highest ever (by a mile) early A/A* from top set, so there is a chance he will come.

Umm not sure cardi. There are always plenty of staff there though (when I have looked back at pics of previous proms). I wouldn't think the staff call it enjoyment . I suppose all the yr11 tutors will be there, I know SLT will be there and any admin (who may want to go - eg me). I know the HOY 9 is going as we talked about outfits and of course the HOY 11 will also be there.

BellaVita if staff have to pay, how do you arrange for there to be enough there to supervise? Prom for us (and we only have one for the Y13s) is about supervision of the young people, not enjoyment.

dreading dd getting to 16

Yes they do sparky. I think it was something in the region of £30 a ticket for staff if they wished to attend this year. Suppose it depends on how much fund raising they have done - if a lot then the staff tickets would be cheaper.

The school is fab though... I remember last year a couple of the girls couldn't afford dresses but the staff sorted them out and took them shopping (think looked after children/young carers/broken homes).

Ds is 16 and about to go to his prom. I am surprised that the op is so involved in discussing this with the school. When I was 16 I would have been mortified, as an earlier poster said, at my parents getting involved in such a way. At 16 you are, or should be, responsible for your behaviour and the consequences of this behaviour. If I'd forked out money in this case I would be taking it from my child not the school.
The dd's behaviour was not silly. Couldnt care less if she wants to ruin her own education but she has no right to disrupt the education of the others in their classes especially during the GCSE years. I bet the other parents didnt view it as silly behaviour.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Thu 28-Jun-12 12:21:20

"After all, there might well have been things the OP could have done - like checking her dd's homework, if poorly done/handed in late homework was one of the issues; or turfing her out of the house for an earlier bus, if late arrival first thing was part of the problem."

Given the age of the dd, I would say that it is high time she realises that other people are not responsible for her behaviour- she is!

Most 16yos I know propose to spend the summer working, in real jobs, now that they have finished exams. Should mum make sure that they get to work on time to, and expect their employer to bring up any concerns about the quality of their work with the parent?

When should they start learning that their actions will bring consequences for them?

We charge £15. Heavily subsidised by us - includes transport, meal, disco etc

Just FYI.

I Agree Cricketballs.
There's always someone on MN that can read bad into any comment though

those of you who think the comment about wanting the first dance should look at it from a point of view that not all staff are paedophiles!

It was a comment trying to encourage the ops DD to change her attitude and behaviour to ensure she could go the prom not an invite to his bed

Bella - the staff have to pay? For a 'boring evening of unpaid overtime'?(quoting someone upthread.)

Seems a bit unfair.

Our head is attempting to discontinue the Prom, actually. I hope she succeeds!

We paid £25 for the ticket (dinner/dance/one glossy photo), or there was a package deal of all that plus a hoodie and yearbook too for £55.

We've bought ds a suit (and shirt/tie) that he can use for sixth form also. I think we get off lightly over here - my friend in the US says all the boys are expected to pay for their date's ticket, plus a corsage and it's tuxedos and stretch limos all round!

Ours are free for the pupils, staff have to pay. However the yr11 pupils have to fund raise to ensure they have enough money to cover the cost.

I also think it was highly inappropriate for the HOY to say he wanted the first dance with your DD OP.

Our school just have a disco - no food - tho transport is included.

The school pay.

ebay the dress and shoes.

Blimey SparkyBabe - everyone pays round here - it's a meal and a dance at a nice venue. Not going to come out of school budget.

I also agree that the OP did know of her dd's behaviour/attitude - she told us pages ago that her dd was being late for lessons and violating uniform codes.
By 10 16 though, they need to learn that they make choices, and the choices they make have consequences. At the end of the day, she's missing a social occasion, that you'd think was enough incentive for a 16 yr old to decide to conform. She decided it wasn't important enough in her life to have to go to the prom, if it meant she had to wear the correct uniform and turn up to lessons on time. Fine. That's her decision which any 12 16 yr old is capable of making. It's not like she's been expelled or something.

I totally agree with cricketballs, the same would happen at my school.

The pupils are warned what will happen with bad behaviour and attendance at the outset.

You sound very precious.

We've paid

Ds1 paid for his own ticket, out of his paper round earnings, and we bought him his suit partly for his birthday and partly in return for him jetwashing the patio.

My kids all had to pay for their tickets.Price of food/meal was included.

Ds bought his prom ticket. It includes a meal so someone had to pay. Prom is optional (to those that have a choice) so the school shouldnt pay.

It's quite normal to have to pay for a ticketbb

Well - as the parent of three teenagers, and I'm sorry to have to tell you that sometimes, despite the best efforts of their parents over the years, they can be catastrophically disorganised and display positively epic lack of commonsense. And yes, we have let them suffer the consequences of their actions, and that does help for a while, but then, when they have lulled you into thinking that they might be turning into sensible, reasonable, somewhat organised human beings, they lapse again in ways you thought they'd left behind in primary school.

I think that the first year of living away from home at university, is going to be an interesting learning curve for ds1.

Prom tickets are not paid for - they are free (at our school anyway)