daughter banned from her Prom, very unfair headteacher

Haven't RTFT but I'm glad to hear things have turned out so well for your daughter, OP. She sounds like a lovely person and I wish her well for the future.

Jeez I wish people would look at the dates!!!

Pineapple you must have seen the notice that this thread is over a year old!

@scruffy68

Regarding a comment you made about only doing silly stuff, like skirt to short and being late for lessons.

Those are not silly things, if done enough it's seen as obvious flouting of the rules set in place, punishment can be detentions, suspension and blocked from attending prom once a threshold has been met.

Sounds like your DD flouted the rules one to many times.

Zombie thread

She's got a 23 year old now, not a 16 year old... :o

First up, I know this is an old thread.

Second, I'm annoyed at badly behaved children who make it difficult for the rest of the class to learn, followed by the incredulity of their parents on hearing the news.

While the majority of the class behave themselves, there are a small number who permanently disrupt. What incentive would there be for well behaved children to obey rules when there would be no deterrent for bad behaviour?

I think it's great the headteacher showed leadership on this occasion. It sends a message that there are rules.

I agree that the communication sucks.

Our headteacher weighs up facts and is constantly making decisions. Has done for years. She would be mostly fair most of the time. I assume the same in your case.

Recent example: DD and her friends pointed out a girl "bully". I later learned she was banned from her end of primary school dance. I then identified her mother at school sports day and thought "no wonder". Gobby, attention-seeking, passing comments and blunt, like two peas in a pod.

I imagine mother would have gone ballistic at the head teacher for the ban and the head would have anticipated this when making the decision and stood her ground.

Proms are not the be all and end all of life. I'd be prioritising the poor behaviour and how to improve future life chances.

I don't think the head needs to explain the events to you. You have a 16 year old to do that. If the head were to tell you, then they will just get embroiled in an argument. The decision is "banned". Suck it up.

Ah, apologies.

A teacher coming into an exam hall to tell a student they're not going to the prom is such extremely bad practice that it almost certainly didn't happen.

Dolores, yes, the thread is old, but admission is responding to barbie whose query is current.

admission this thread is three years old.

You are making the fatal mistake of not putting things in writing from what your post says.
Write and hand deliver to the school a letter to the head teacher explaining how unfair this is and quoting sickness. Definitely say that you do not believe that daughter is being treated equally with other students. I would also emphasis the point that a teacher coming into an exam and telling daughter in the exam that she was still not going is extremely bad practice and is completely unacceptable.
However I think you need to have a very long and serious conversation with your daughter and check exactly what else has gone on because my feeling is that there is more to this then just having 83% attendance.That would normally on its own cause this much negative reaction from the school

Xpost

barbie I would start your own thread as this one is mega old and people will just reply to the OP and you might get lost.

Barbiepigeon - Start a new thread of your own so you get more of a response.

This thread is 3 years old and people may only scan read and not see your post to reply to.

My child is not allowed to attend school prom as her attendance is 83% yet other kids with less attendance can go. They took the permission slip and payment for her ticket , she was then told she cound,nt go, my child was asked to write a letter to the head to appeal which did not work , she was in her 1st gcse exam when a teacher went in and said her letter did not work and she still cannot go, this upset her and she thinks she has not done well in her exam. I then phoned and asked for an appointment with the head to discuss the matter, a week later after hearing nothing I rang back to ask when I could have an appointment with the head, I was put on hold then a year head came on the line and said they would not change there minds she could not go and they had no appointments with the head. I feel they are picking on my child and are not taking some of her illness,s into consideration i.e 2 weeks of with chicken pox , also 2 weeks of with impertigo both of which she had doctors letters. i was refund the ticket money and have a very upset daughter any ideas what to try next

THIS ALL HAPPENED 2 YEARS AGO

bruffin lol, it appeared at the top of the threads list. Very odd.

scruffy68 this sounds very odd.

If you daughter is unable to shed any light on the situation then you have no option but to attend the meeting and hear them out.

Ensure all communication is in writing. If all communication is not yet in writing, I would suggest you compile a letter outlining how the situation has played out to date, along with specific dates, times, names etc. Send this to the Head prior to the meeting so they fully understand your concerns in the matter. This will take away their ability to change their account of what happened after the event.

I would also ask, during the meeting with the Head, as to whether this will affect your DDs school record in any way.

In the mean time, make the meeting know to your DD in case she is holding back on something that has happened. If she is holding back she might decide to tell you before the meeting takes place. After all, you're going to find out one way or other.

Regarding the expense of the dress and shoes etc. If the Head is unable to give you a valid reason for their actions, make it clear that you will be sending them the bill.

Admission
A bit late the prom was 2 years ago.

Given the time scale, i think you need answers like now. It is completely inappropriate for the head teacher to be avoiding answering the question for upwards of 6 weeks. So to me there are two issues, one is what are the reasons behind this ban and the second is the attitude and actions of the headteacher.
I suspect that the answer to the first issue lies with your daughter, logic says they must know the reason behind the ban, to be saying they have no idea just seems nonsensical. Having said that there is no reason what so ever for the school not to be replying to your telephone calls or when you were in the school. That is not acceptable. My inclination is to write an email to the head teacher and say that they have till 1200 on Monday to reply to the email giving some specific reasons for the ban or you will go to the press. I would be very sure to show your daughter the email before you send it and be very firm with her that this is the nuclear option and if she knows the real answer now is the time to fess up.
If the school do not respond I am not sure in all honesty I would go to the press because you by then must know that the school is not going to respond positively. Save the press for later. You instead need to take appropriate action with the school.The correct action is to get a copy of the school complaints procedure and then make a formal written complaint about the conduct of the head teacher of the school in that they were not prepared to meet with you, ignored you and banned your daughter from the Prom event for issues that they were not prepared to discuss with you and failed to disclose despite repeated attempts to get that information. That complaint will be to the Chair of Governors. You need to go through the school's complaint procedure which will firstly be a complaint to the Chair of Governors and then a committee of the governing body. Then if you still do not have the answers to the specifics of the reasons behind the ban, then that is when you go to the press.
However the school taking this action does not happen lightly so I think that you need to be aware that this could end up with tears. There has got to be some good reasons why they took this action.

ZOMBIE THREAD

Blimey, I was going to mention that my daughter has been told today that she might not be allowed to go prom for wearing an earring but I don't think I'll bother! You'd think some of these kids were criminals the way some of you have commented! Hung, drawn and quartered for petty behaviour...it would be a different story if it was your own children! Schools are becoming so strict these days, kids aren't allowed to be kids! I guess you were all perfect students??