Has anyone ever moved their DC to a different school and it not worked out?

Sparkling, it sounds like his fear of change is holding him back. If his self esteem is low because of not fitting in at school, that can lead to feelings of despondency, and it may feel really hard for him to take positive action.

I would suggest sharing responsibility for the decision. He might feel overwhelmed at the dilemma. And at that age, children are less good at looking ahead into the future -- I think they really do need our guidance.

You need to talk through the pros and cons. What are the cons of moving? Can you get more information from the new school -- e.g. anti-bullying policy? Did your DS feel there were like-minded boys and girls at the new school?

I would guess that last question is the key one ...

Hi Sparkling, hope you have managed to get your son to come to some decision, it is tricky as I think they do have to take responsibility for such a move but you also know that they won't think it through in quite the same way as us parents do.

My DS has been in his new school since the return after the Easter break, he has got used to the new early routine and the long bus journey, I do think the honeymoon/novelty period is coming to an end and he is feeling the effect, at weekends as his old school friends aren't around much, so he is feeling a bit 'billy no mates' but I still think it was the right decision.

He has a school trip towards the end of term and I think he will really get to know his year group at his new school really well and we are thinking in the long term we may even move to be nearer the school, but that would not be for another year or so.

I would also say make the move as soon as possible as its not easy being somewhere if you know you are leaving (remember what it feels like when you decide to change jobs, once you know for sure you are leaving everything changes).

Good luck this week

I know what you mean about ds refusing to talk about it, sometimes I feel like I'm the gestapo trying to get infomation out of my boy, but when it does come out we get tears so obviously he does hold a lot in. :(
Wish we had a crystal ball....

Not at all, we rumbled on for 3 years - the worst 3 years of my life by far!

I think for both of you it is a great feeling when you take control of the situation and are making decisions and changes, I remember feeling very fustrated by the school telling me things will be better next term...and on, and on....

I can only speak from my experience, we accepted the new school place in February but to start in September. I would have rather moved him immediately or at least at Easter, it felt like such a long wait until September. However with hindsight (and the knowledge that it worked out well) it is probably easier to blend into an existing peer group in September when the kids haven't or hardly seen each other all summer, as the friendship groups aren't as tight. You will also be able to boost his self esteem over the summer and you may be able to arrange a couple of get togethers with some potential friends over the summer. My DS was quite relaxed at his old school once he knew that he was leaving, suddenly the comments didn't get to him anymore!

Its difficult to know when is best to move to the new school, but my gut reaction about leaving the existing school would be get him out of there as quickly as possible and cancel the school trip!

I am so pleased for your DS that he has a better option and doesn't have to suffer any longer

hi Sparkling,
I posted on your threads before about the problems your DS was facing at his current school. I moved my DS from his awful school after 3 years of unhappiness which affected our whole family (why did I leave it so long?!)
Anyway he moved last September and hasn't looked back.

we had previously found an alternative school for him but he wobbled about the move and we pulled out. He felt sure he could make it work at his existing school, a year later he was at rock bottom and finally agreed to move (it helped that he fell in love with the new school).
I just wanted to say don't expect your DS to be totally enthusiastic about moving schools, no matter how much he loved the school. He has had a hard time and his self esteem will be very low. He will naturally be having thoughts about the same thing happening again at the new school etc. But in your heart deep down you know that if his current school is wrong for him then the move is essential.

Good luck

I don't think it's up to the head to give a date by which they'll know he's moving, as you will need presumably to apply for an in-year transfer through the LEA (and then wait for them to tell you, infuriatingly slowly, whether X school has a place for him, even though all of you already know this).

It's only natural for him to feel nervous -- but fantastic news that it went so well. Sounds like you're giving him great support for his decision.

That's great news! And it will have done his confidence a lot of good.

sleep well.......

Great to hear that, the worry they put us mums through.... at least you can sleep tonight!! :)

Hi Sparkling,
Have been reading these posts with interest and felt the urge to post for the first time ever.
I'm in a similar situation to you and also feeling like I have a huge decision to make and wishing someone else would make it for me. We are visiting another school next week which has a place available but this will probably be snapped up quick as it's a popular school. My son is not at all confident and struggles for find friends and won't know anyone at the new school but I feel if I don't make a decision now then am I just delaying the inevitable. I'm feeling very stressed about pulling a child from a school (they have just gone into special measures) and whether it will work out for the better anywhere else. Anyway just thought I would post and let you know there are people out there reading and empathising....

Have a
How was your DS feeling this morning?
Hope he has a great day, let us know how it goes

try to do something fun to take your mind off it tomorrow.
I really hope it goes well, everything else will fall into place if it does and you won't look back

You have done the right thing, because you care. remember you have nothing to lose................and everything to gain.
Good luck to your DS for tomorrow (and to you too!)