bursaries... would this piss you off?

"I can imagine few things more grim for a kid than being the poor kid in a a very, very expensive school surrounded by wealthy kids.'
I've watching this thread with interest although resisting the urge to post! How you get on in a school depends on the school itself. I believe that at the super selective there is more of an intellectual snobbery than a financial one. It is those at the "bottom" of the academic pile who may feel like "tiny fish in a shark infested" academic "pond". I suspect that it is at the less selctive big name schools that social snobbery particularly related to wealth is more likely to exist.

Seriously, Mollie, If there are few more grim things you can imagine you have a very sheltered life.

I think an ability to sew labels on should be a criteria

Sorry thirdhill

Gramercy - Does clever but ok financially dc trump average but broke dc? What about v posh broke family who live in crumbling old house? Are they more attractive than family in suburban semi?

You raise the bursary dilemma...! Our bursary decisions are all made by our Board of Governors (not me) after pretty lengthy and intensive information gathering and investigations (me) including a home visit. The Headmistress is also heavily involved in the decision. I would say that it is mostly to do with "fit" with the school and whether we think the child will thrive here. We are not academically selective , for example, and some children would do better in a more academic environment.

There is no point giving a bursary to a child who is not going to fit in, work hard or who is not going to be supported at home (of course this does not apply to MN families!) Income or lack thereof is the most important "hard" criteria (based on tax returns and payslips - hard evidence) but we do also consider the full financial picture including assets. However, unlike some schools, we do not expect parents to sell or re-mortgage the family home to pay for their children's education. We would however expect them to cash in investments and even ISA's etc.

OP I am rather shocked at the mum in your case broadcasting her details to the world! Apart from anything else, that contravenes the bursary agreement we have parents sign, which has a strict confidentiality clause.

Gef - really what makes you think you are in a position to know about the household income of this family?

The trip may have been paid for by a relative. The bursary will have been awarded on household income. Unless you are privvy to someone's bank accounts you know nothing.

I always find Mollies argument about being poor in private school quite odd. There will be poor DC in state schools. Someone will be the poorest. Are their lives ruined?

Soupdragon, no?

How about direct experience from two very close friends whose lives were pretty much ruined by being poor tiny fish in a shark infested wealthy pond?

being the poor child in school was fine for me.

I really was the poorest one there, by a very long way, and it was never really a factor.

there were a few comments occasionally, but they were from bitchy girls who would have found something else to comment on if that reason was absent.

what I gained from attending that school far outweighed those few comments, believe me.

veryworried - why does it matter if one of the parents is a SAHP? Income is what it is, the schools are private organisations and can distribute their funding as they wish.

You don't have a very good imagination then.

I can imagine few things more grim for a kid than being the poor kid in a a very, very expensive school surrounded by wealthy kids.

Quite what that will do for a child's self esteem long term I don't know. I suppose if they board you don't need to worry about playing together after school and visiting for tea

There will always be bursary cheats just as there are benefit cheats and tax evaders. Best not to worry too much about it.

I was a sahm when dss got a bursary at his (very well known) secondary.

we also (as per my previous post) had just bought a new car, and were having extensive building works done to our house.

dh is (and was then) a City worker, so not under any particular salary threshold that might be applied, and we still (according to the school) fulfilled any requirements for a bursary (nowhere near 90%, sadly, but substantial enough).

we filled in the forms, hid nothing, and were happy to answer questions as to why we could not, at that point, afford the fees (ie where the money was going).

Re bursaries :
I think they should look at sacrifices made by the family, and whether the child would benefit from the opportunities and experiences available at their school.
A family may work in relatively poorly paid jobs, and a part-time 2nd income may work out better than a full-time job paying childcare for two or three children.
I would expect the family to live in a 3 bed semi type of house, and show how they budget and control finances. I would allow a few 'nice' things if they can show they've been saved-up for.

Like I said, genuinely surprising.

Well then, HeartsTrumpDiamonds, what floats your boat when it comes to applicants?

Does clever but ok financially dc trump average but broke dc? What about v posh broke family who live in crumbling old house? Are they more attractive than family in suburban semi?

In my now extensive experience of bursaries you can be a SAHM at prep school level or if you have other children of this age. Most senior schools expect you to work at least part time (although the current high levels of unemployment may mean this has changed) and also they will look sympathetically on those caring for the elderly/disabled etc.
"90% bursary given to my friend and her dp for their only child's place at a terribly well known and expensive public school. One of the parents is a sahp. So how does that work then?"
Yes they probably do "want the child" just like they want my DS is this a crime these top schools are selective often super selective he was offered a place and the we applied for the bursary.
ragged I'm unsure as to whether your querying a bursary of 90% in my DS's school scholarships carry no financial rewards and bursaries of 100% are given to non scholars we're talking £33 000 although I appreciate this is very unusual.

SAHM argument is not valid. I cannot work because of the ridiculously lengthy school holidays. I don't know any employer that would give meals that time off.

HTD, you tease!

I'm a bursar

MrsS- ours is prep too. I know the thread is in secondary but I originally came on to tell the OP she doesn't know from the outside, and stayed.

I think I'm a little fed up of people with bursaries either being bitched about or looked down on. I'm fine with ours. Most people can't afford private education its nothing to be ashamed of.

Probably Veryworried and if they all applied we might not have got ours. But we tried and got it. They have that option too

No, but if you choose to work part time rather than full time then you are not exactly strapped for cash are you?

But I think its the "some people think ahead and take advantage of what's out there" part of your post that makes me think .

Am not bitter btw, would never send my kids to public school!

Very some people think ahead and take advantage of what's out there. I work part time...DH full...we're low income. Should I have worked full time to please those who are bitter?

Our "bursary" was 100% this is in a prep school...not well known. We left last year as I couldnt afford for DD2 to go too. The school had their own pot of money....they called it a bursary...it was means tested and I had it for DDs time at the school unless my financial circs changed.

We left because the school was so tiny and there weren't enough girls and also because DD would end up leaving this place for a big secondary (state) and we wanted her to intergrate more with the community.

She's doing well at a lovely local state now.

Presumably thousands upon thousands of families could put themselves under the income cut-off point for bursaries if one of them gave up work? I thought bursaries were meant to help the poorest families.